Reaching a diagnosis for many diseases takes a long time. Symptoms appear and there are tests. Symptoms are often denied by the individual or at first minimized by the professional. Symptoms may make past activity and work impossible causing great strain on family resources. In some situation changes in behaviour or memory are insidiously destroying relationships before they can be identified as symptoms of something being wrong.

This means that by the time the diagnosis has been made and the family is expected to get on with it, major rifts in its structure and solidarity have appeared. Indeed by the time the family is expected to “pull together,” family members may not be talking to each other; may feel let down, taken advantage of or abused by others.

When this is the reality, how can a family problem solve, decision make and deal with this situation? If this is your position it is imperative that you get professional help. Chances are you are so angry with what is going on that you are all taking it out on each other.

It takes a lot of work to cease from blaming, to stop finding fault. The dynamics are too complex and confusing to be handled alone. It is not a sign of weakness to need help at this time. It is a gift to find someone who will listen and not pass judgment, hear your pain without telling you what to do. This is indeed what every member of the family needs. Families function because of unique interdependencies, everyone has a specific role – bread winner, scapegoat to name just two. When disease hits, the security of this family web is torn apart. Everyone feels a tug of insecurity because that familiar role will be changed forever.

I remember Joe was the patriarch of the family. His word was law. His adult sons were still afraid of him and his wife just did what was expected of her. None dared step out of line. No one stood up to him. The family unit functioned successfully when it played by these rules. Joe was 69 when he started losing his memory, leaving the taps on in the bathroom, failing to dress himself properly and take care of his personal hygiene.

This family did not just have the stress of caring for someone with Alzheimer’s disease; they had to learn how to relate differently to him and to each other. All their roles in the family changed. The sons, who were now married with children of their own, could not support their mother because they were still holding fear for the man who now shuffled behind is wife everywhere she went.

It is often believed that the only person who is suffering is the person with the disease. The labeled person has the right to grieve and be angry because of the changes that have taken place. But everyone who has been in relationship with that person in the past will have to adjust to a change in their life. We generally deal with change by seeing it as a loss of what was. So we all must grieve.

No one who enters the care giving role does so without needing to grieve the loss of the past. The family unit has been changed and so it must grieve. If the family feels too stressed to talk it over together, or one is alone and has no family to share the grief with, then find a professional to hear the pain.

When the diagnosis comes and roles have to change, a caregiver is needed and is assigned. When it is a parent who gets sick it is usually the daughter or daughter in law who must take up the responsibility. A spouse is expected to care for a spouse.

Posted by Nick Polizzi from The Sacred Science

Here we are, in the beginning of yet another beautiful spring. Something is rumbling beneath the soil, a thing of beauty waiting to burst from its cocoon, a promise made long ago that is about to be kept. This is a ripe time of year to reshuffle the deck, shed skins of the past, and give yourself a fresh start.

Here are 5 sacred life practices that have been used throughout the sands of time to usher in the spring and flourish in its green glory.

1) The Art Of Letting Go (of unneeded stuff)

We’re literally talking about physical stuff here. Not mental or emotional baggage, but the stack of boxes in your closet or garage that contain god-knows-what that you’ve been keeping for god-knows-why.

Our clutter collections sometimes feel completely justified and harmless, but I assure you they take up more space in our psyche and energy field than we realize.

I invite you to slap some spiritual symbolism on these cardboard and plastic keepers of memory, and see them as physical manifestations of inner blocks, just waiting to be dissolved.

Crack open these containers, and figure out what you actually need, and what might be useful to someone else. I know it may seem like a thankless task, but I guarantee you will start to feel lighter as you begin to find a new home for these belongings.

The local thrift shop or the Salvation Army are your best buds in this department.

2) Spiritual Scrub A Dub

Yeah, we all know about the importance of spring cleaning, but how about doing it with full presence, as a meditative practice?

In ancient Aztec culture, the act of sweeping held far more meaning than just cleaning your floor. It was considered a sacred art that could affect future outcomes in the household, in commerce, and on the battlefield. Pretty neat huh?

Cleaning out your refrigerator can either be a cumbersome chore or a practice in purifying and clearing the energy of your kitchen – your choice. The meaning you attach to your motion dictates everything.

3) Rearrange Your Home For Fresh Perspective

You’ve probably heard of the ancient Chinese art of Feng shui – which is centered on the belief that invisible forces or Qi bind the universe and can be harnessed for our benefit through the conscious design of space.

It was and is applied to the building of sacred places like temples, tombs, and palaces, but is also a powerful tool for your household.

This can be as simple as realigning your couch and coffee table to create a flow between two doorways, or as involved as determining how your space orients toward the sun, moon, stars, nearby mountains or bodies of water.

4) Planting New Seeds

When was the last time you planted a seed and nurtured it to a fully realized adult plant?

For thousands of years, gardening has been seen as a deep spiritual practice. The act of caring for and observing new life as it springs forth from a simple seed holds many untold teachings for us. Almost all the herbalists I know speak of the inner awakenings they experience regularly in their work with plants.

For some, this is a fairly regular practice (and extra herbal bonus points to you!), but for many of us it is not. We trick ourselves into believing that our lives are too busy to set aside that extra 10 minutes a day to nurture our green friends.

You don’t need to move to the country to start planting new seeds of your own. Our leafy neighbors like light and clean water. Aside from maybe a few tender words each day, that’s about it. All you need is a flat surface by a window to start your own garden.

Yes, you can go out and buy pre-grown plants, but I promise there is something magical about growing your own.

5) Clearing The Air

There is something primordial within us that connects deep meaning to the invisible elemental sea that surrounds us. Many native cultures consider the air itself to be full of life-force and laden with power.

With this in mind, there are a multitude of methods you can use to purify, refresh, and activate the air in your home. Opening all the windows and doors for 20 – 30 minutes is a good start, but you can really spruce things up by burning certain herbs and resins, as well as diffusing the right essential oils in your space.

Some herbs/resins we burn in our home are – Palo Santo, white sage and Copal. You can use a simple bowl, or purchase a more ceremonial vessel like an abalone shell. I like to guide the aromatic smoke into different areas of the room using my hand but if you’re called to use a feather or other fanning device, the possibilities are endless.

In terms of diffusing essential oils, we just purchased a pretty inexpensive diffuser and it works beautifully. Simply fill the diffuser with purified water and squeeze a few drops of your favorite essential oil(s) on top (we use cedar, eucalyptus, and lavender). Turn the diffuser on and enjoy the healing vapors.

I hope these 5 sacred practices serve you well as we walk toward the warmer months. These portals to our ancestral past each hold their own healing wisdom, just waiting to be unlocked.

Stay curious,

Nick Polizzi

Director, The Sacred Science

By Susan M Ellis

“We Are One with humanity and all of life. Business and all institutions of the human community are integral parts of a single reality — interrelated, interconnected and interdependent.”

from the Conscious Business Declaration

We are encouraged to live in a selfish world of individuality where my needs, my profits, my desires are more important that my relationship to the whole. Such behaviour is destroying us.

But in my spiritual practice I embrace a oneness with all things. I see myself in an interconnected universe where all actions will have an impact on the whole. This means I react when I know the bees are dying partly because of man-made chemicals; when water, which should be a human right for all, is bottled in areas where drought conditions exist and the water is only sold back to those who can afford to buy it. I cringe when corporations sue countries for not allowing their poisonous product to be sold or prohibits them from raping the country of its minerals or forests.

According to a Statistics Canada survey, there are at least 850,000 people diagnosed with environmental sensitivities in Canada. This number went up by a whopping 34 per cent from 2005 to 2010. Such people can no longer enjoy living in the world we have created, often have difficulty finding jobs, housing and medical care. Imagine not being able to enter a hospital or doctors office because you cannot tolerate the chemicals in the air? We have created a toxic world.

To restore my spirit I go to the annual Green Living Show in Toronto and learn about companies selling products and communities working together promoting sustainability, natural and organic products, lessening our carbon footprint and saving what we have.

Joy was added recently when I read about a movement encouraging businesses to learn more about being conscious corporate citizens. They have created a Conscious Business Declaration and those who sign, vow to adhere to these principles.

from their website I learned -

A New Standard for Business in the 21st Century

The Conscious Business Declaration articulates essential principles that we believe will dramatically increase economic prosperity while healing the environment and improving human wellbeing. The Declaration aims to define a new standard for Business in the 21st century, one that will enable Business to become the most powerful engine on Earth for creating abundance and flourishing for humanity and all life on Earth.

A Radical Shift in Perspective

The Declaration calls for radical shift in perspective for Business globally, one that is already shared by humanity’s leading spiritual traditions and validated by modern science. It is expressed in the first principle of the Declaration: “We Are One with humanity and all of life. Business and all institutions of the human community are integral parts of a single reality — interrelated, interconnected and interdependent.”

So here is the Conscious Business Declaration . Feel hopeful. Pass it on. Know that profit can be made without destroying something to get it.

As a global community of business leaders we are committed to developing the awareness and skills needed to consciously evolve our organizations in alignment with these principles:

• We Are One with humanity and all of life. Business and all institutions of the human community are integral parts of a single reality — interrelated, interconnected and interdependent.

• In line with this reality, the purpose of Business is to increase economic prosperity while contributing to a healthy environment and improving human wellbeing.

• Business must go beyond sustainability and the philosophy of “do no harm” to restoring the self-renewing integrity of the Earth.

• Business must operate with economic, social, and ecological transparency.

• Business must behave as a positive and proactive member of the local and global communities in which it operates.

• Business that sees, honors, and celebrates the essential interconnected nature of all human beings and all life maximizes human potential and helps create a world that works for all.

• When aligned with Oneness, Business is the most powerful engine on Earth for creating prosperity and flourishing for all.

In recent years attitudes towards care giving have changed. One sees more media coverage of the subject and a growing industry for those offering fee for service. There is a great deal of “taking care of,” but not so much “providing support for” the emotional strains of care giving. In my video Aspects of Hope I talk at length about why some people should not be caregivers. I should add, not before dealing with some of their issues.

On my website is an article entitled “Why some people should not be caregivers.” The example is of someone who had no role models of people caring while growing up . The article ends with –

“This is not to say that all those who experienced abusive childhoods will behave the same way when they grow up. But it is worth noting that family behaviour does repeat itself. It is essential that we are aware of our own attitudes towards disability, disease, and giving care. It is important that we recognize our true feelings towards our parents or for whom ever it is that we may be asked to give care. Sometimes it is safer to back away from the responsibility, delegating to others. It is essential we seek professional help be it through counseling or by attending a support group. We must never buy into the belief system that all people can be care givers. It is a learned skill.

Many of us fail to accept that we must acquire the skills, believing we are failures when faced by the first problem. Few of us anticipate ahead of time that we might be caring for another and fail to prepare ourselves with knowledge. We often believe we must go it alone and asking for help is a sign of weakness. In hindsight we may believe we could have done things differently, but we must remember that at the time, we did the best we could.

Face your attitudes and beliefs with honesty and then make appropriate choices when faced with the responsibility of being a caregiver.”

For many years my mother cared for my father who had a progressive dementia. It was at a time in Britain where you “did not air your dirty clothes on the line.” This was your secret and “your cross to bear.” I was living in Canada and working with those with Alzheimer’s disease. I knew this societal attitude was not good for her. Aghast, she heard me blurt it out to her friends. How supportive they became, sharing their own hidden secrets too, but bearing witness to each other.

Recently I was excited to hear about a group of friends in a small community in California who had decided to be proactive. All were aging and all had partners who now, or in the near future, would need care. They were not going to travel on this road alone. This is what I learned from one of the group’s members.

We started out from a discussion group last spring and summer of the book “Being Mortal, Medicine and What Matters in the End” by Atul Gawande. Website We were not a book club, we came together over this book and its subject matter. That group met six times and built a lot of trust and camaraderie discussing the shortcomings of American health care for the aging. We were all most concerned about the tendency to over-operate or medicate and rely on modern medicine when sometimes it is better just to die. We were all committed to aging in our homes not in assisted living. Several spoke openly about believing in assisted suicide. That group included husbands, wives, partners, etc.

The group, which we have called “Heart Connections” is now of eight women. (The men tired of talking about this)!! Seven of the eight had done water aerobics together for years, but at that time did not have this current level of intimacy. I am the odd one who is grateful to have known these women and been invited to join them. We struggled for many months after the discussion group ended with the idea from the book about the “Village Network” concept.

(You can Google for more information such as at Village to Village Network in the US).

We decided setting up a non-profit was too much work and did not provide the intimacy we wanted.

It is only in the past couple of months that everything has started to gel. Many of our meetings were group gropes with ideas. We range from 67-86 years old with partners ranging from 67 to 94 years old. Only one has serious medical issues, needs help dressing and has lots of pain. The rest are healthy and active. Most of us have family but not close by and we are looking for nearby support as we age. We see these needs as help with meals, rides to doctors, checking up on each other, sharing resource information, etc.

We meet every three weeks for two hours. We have developed an agenda and meeting format to keep it simple. We rotate hosting, moderating, etc. We also have a time keeper and call time out when someone rambles on too long (women do that)!! We meet in each others’ homes. Those who cannot host (house too small, husband in the middle of the living room, etc) provide “simple” snacks.

We invited two to join and learned right away that it is important to first be sure new members can meet during our established meeting time. It is a nightmare to keep changing meeting times to accommodate everyone. It is every three weeks, Monday 3-5 pm. If someone is not free to commit to that, they should not participate. 8 in the group works well, but we are weighing if we should add a couple more.

We started out with three forms for everyone to complete. What will you “give” to the group? What do you need to “take” from the group? Your emergency contacts and medical background information. That is where we are right now. Our last meeting really got into how do we develop a good system to help each other contact family and friends when there is a medical emergency.

We are all grateful we do not need a lot of help yet. We are also a bit apprehensive about how much help we can actually be to each other. I do not think anyone is going to move in and be someone else’s caretaker. But we are gaining a closeness which makes us feel less alone, particularly me. I am newly retired. Though we have lived here five years, I did not have a strong social network. These women make me feel like I could leave my husband alone for a trip to visit my sister, out of state, and someone would check in on him. It is also making him feel more comfortable as he sees this friendship network developing. And my husband is pleased to know he is not the oldest, there is another husband who is 94!

We intend to share this idea with others here in town once we are sure we have something that works. So people don’t have to keep reinventing the wheel, we have decided we need simple documents, formats and procedures to share. Like a franchise or a 12 step meeting you know what to expect when procedures are standardized. Some of us prefer this structure, some are more hesitant about it. We will see if it survives over the coming months.

So this is where we have reached in this journey, and we are pleased to share.

Draft Declaration of Dependence

Heart Connections

Core Belief

One of the marvelous things about community is that it enables us to welcome and help people in a way we couldn’t as individuals. When we pool our strength and share the work and responsibility, we can welcome many people, even those in deep distress.

Jean Vanier

Guiding Principles (Needs and Concerns)

Aging in Place is our core desire as we move forward in our life journey. In our small group setting we are seeking to:

• Develop Trust and Commitment to One Another
• Develop the Ability to Ask for Help
• Keep Confidentiality
• Build Community

New Members must be able to meet on Mondays from 3-5 p.m. and understand the level of commitment required of the group.

We aspire to develop a model to share with others who desire to start a group on aging in place.

Rules of Order (Meeting Structure)

Each meeting should start on time. (If you arrive late enter quietly AND without interruption).

Each member will have an opportunity to speak for 3 minutes during “What’s on Top”. There is no crosstalk during this part of the meeting. It is the time for general sharing and asking for needed assistance from the group. If you would like to be of assistance, gesture with a thumbs-up and meet after the meeting to discuss the specifics.

If someone wants additional support, she can ask for additional time after all have shared during ‘What’s on Top.’ Group will decide then whether to extend time.

A time-out sign is given if someone goes off topic during meeting time.

At the conclusion of our meeting the group holds hands and recite: “Aging in Place with Love and Grace”.

Agenda Format

Read the Core Belief, Guiding Principles and Rules of Order

Share “What’s on Top” (go around the room)

Share where we are on “Getting our Affairs Together” (go around the room)

Attend to Agenda Items

Identify Homework when Applicable

Identify next meetings Agenda Items

Share New Information and Reminders (go around the room)

Identify specific tasks for each member for next meeting

Conclude the meeting

Tasks

Rotate Moderator/Agenda Preparation/Reminder E-Mails

Rotate Timekeeper/Tinkerbelle

Rotate Hostess who is responsible for snacks

Update Excel File

Note taking is optional

Heart Connections Proposed Agenda Date: April 11, 2016

Read the Core Belief, Guiding Principles and Rules of Order

Share “What’s on Top”

Agenda Items:

1. Approve Revised Declaration of Dependence
2. Do we want to use the group process for “Getting Our Affairs in Order”?
3. Review Emergency Contacts for changes and additional questions
4. Identify who has Durable Power of Attorney for Healthcare
5. Identify who can pay the bills if you are incapacitated
6. Identify Key Person for Family Network
7. Identify Key Person for Friends Network
8. Discuss Groups Direction and Membership

Identify Homework when Applicable

Review Medical Data and Takes for changes and additional questions

Identify Agenda Items for Future Meetings:

Review Basic Data

Medical Data and Takes

Advanced Directives and Legal Documents: Attorney who prepared will/trust and date

Judy on Hospice

Share New Information and Reminders

Carol’s place can be our default meeting location, with as much notice as possible

Group data will be kept paper based and redistributed when updates make it necessary

Kathy offered to accompany people to critical medical appointments to assist with clarification questions and recording.

Identify tasks for each member for next meeting

Agenda Preparers/Email Reminders/Moderators

Timekeeper/Tinkerbelle

Hostess/Snacks

Conclude the meeting by holding hands and reciting “Aging in Place with Love and Grace”.

When the care giving role has finished, the individual usually experiences a loss of identity. Here are ten ways of transitioning successfully from being a caregiver to creating a new life.

“Now you can get on with your life” are the words of comfort we hear when our role as caregiver is over. The depression that we sink into, and others cannot fathom, is grief for ourselves. Others will attempt to help us get over the grief for the person lost from our life but will fail to realize that it is the loss of self for which we grieve later. Indeed we don’t realize this for ourselves at the time. Since we have spent a long time putting the needs of another first, we fail to understand how much of self-identification was tied up in those needs.

I was a caregiver for almost 10 years. Grief followed my partner’s death. But my “depression” did not hit till 18 months later. It was a period of transition – from one self to the next. From one identity, one image of self – to a new me. The transition has a big question mark at the beginning. “What am I going to do with the rest of my life?” “Who am I, anyway?” The journey is that of our own transformation.

How do we successfully transition?

1. Recognize that this is the task at hand.
2. Re-evaluate the role that we have played and now lost. This means look at it as if we were writing a job description. We do not need to dwell on criticizing how successfully we performed, but focus on what skills we acquired, what tasks we accomplished, what creativity we showed. Society does not place value on the role we have played. We must not fall into the trap of belittling our own accomplishments. We must familiarize ourselves with whom we have become because of this experience. We have been forever changed.
3. Recognize that over time we searched for recognition in the role we played. To do it well, the caregiver role became us. It was how we identified ourselves. Others related to us through that role. Any socializing we had was a respite from that role. Any emotional support we received was to help us cope with that role. Most of our conversation was about the talk of care giving. Then it is over and all the professionals who shared the challenge have disappeared. We are not supposed to need them any more. But they were the people who validated who we were. All those routines that had become our life – the doctor visits, the care giver support groups, the volunteers – have all gone. Suddenly we are naked. We have no identity and we are alone. The task at hand is to build a new identity.
4. Don’t deny the pain, look at the fears, and accept the feelings for what they are. We are learning how to face change. We are learning how to let go of the past – of whom we were, of what was. We are in a transition where there is no going back. A time when this moment truly is the most important of our life. For it is the only moment that is real. The only moment that counts. How we live it will determine what is ahead of us.
5. Find a mentor who has been there. If no one is available chose someone who is prepared to listen without thinking they must solve problems. Only you can forge the future path. It must come from within you, not the suggestions of others. The gift others can give you now is the ear that witnesses your progress. Their only task is to stop you from dwelling on negative repetition. We used to call this being a “broken record.” Sometimes we used to imitate playing on an imaginary violin to indicate the repetitive telling of a sad story. We do not make changes when we are repeating the same old story over and over again.
6. Slowly open new doors and test how you feel. My breakthrough came when I started reading books on spirituality and healing. I will list a few that have impacted my life and caused me to shift my views, beliefs and attitudes. They moved me from being a victim of my circumstance to being the captain of my ship. This is not a complete list but examples of books that helped me look at the world, life and me in a different way. They helped the change process.

Anatomy of the Spirit / Why People Don’t Heal and How They Can – Caroline Myss
When Things Fall Apart – Pema Chödron
The Four Agreements – Don Miguel Ruiz
My Grandfather’s Blessings – Rachel Naomi Remen MD
Home with God – Neale Donald Walsch
Man’s Search for Meaning – Viktor E. Frankel

7. Let go of self restricting beliefs and attitudes about yourself and your future. “Poor me,” “my life is over,” “I shall never be able to…” – they will not serve you well. They are a devise to stifle facing change. If we see our cup as half empty – it will remain so. If we see that same cup as half full then there is room for more. When we believe in “can’t,” then that is what we will experience.
8. Let go of the need to make yesterday a living presence today. Instead use the knowledge gained yesterday to make today more successful. The brain cannot distinguish between what is happening now and what you are remembering from the past. To remember the pain of the past is to bring it back to make it real – a conscious decision. The brain can’t tell the difference. The brain can only bring into awareness one thing at a time. Again, you choose what you focus on.
9. If you experience real difficulty focusing on the now, finding it so much easier to retreat into the past, we must develop rituals to stay present. Going for a walk and consciously focusing on everything we see is a helpful exercise. Quickly we realize how much we are missing when our thoughts are not here. Actively listen to the conversations of others. Don’t concentrate on how you can segue conversation to go back in time with you. In conversations with others, discipline yourself to only talk about new information, not stuff they have heard before. This is a powerful exercise because it forces you to bring newness into your life – what you saw on your walk, the book you have just read, the TV program, the baking you have tried, today’s weather, sports teams etc. Now you are creating new life, not regurgitating the past.
10. Gradually the new you will emerge with new dreams and aspirations. They may have to be adapted to fit the budget or the limits of increased age, but we are no longer letting the budget or our age be the excuse for not doing something.
11. To be a caregiver is a gift. Often a painful one that we were unprepared for, but the new butterfly that emerges from our transitional cocoon could never have seen life if we had not met the challenge.

The person I am today, ten years after my care giving ended, is not the person I would have become without the experience. I am filled with gratitude and know I have become the person I was supposed to be in this life.

By Barbara McDowall of www.AuthenticLives.com

Just back from almost 2 weeks in my favourite part of the country, kind of my spiritual home away from home – Canada’s east coast and PEI in particular. When I spend any time along our Atlantic seaboard (Nova Scotia in particular), I invariably find myself asking “How can I live and work here”? And I feel I am getting closer to having an answer to that question.

Along the way to PEI, I happened to notice one of the ubiquitous roadside signs. This one said PEACE BEGINS AT HOME. It got me thinking about what that meant to me. Personally, I had to ask myself how peaceful was I within myself (my home), so to speak? Based on my level of personal peace, what was the impact of me being peaceful on the world around me? To paraphrase Forrest Gump, “peaceful is as peaceful does.”

With that awareness how can I then make a positive contribution to world peace through intentionally and consciously becoming more peaceful within myself? What would I need to change about me to make that happen?

To change or improve any habit or skill most often requires some kind of unlearning/relearning or training regimen. With that in mind, what regular program or practice will help me shift my focus to peace within. What works best for me is a regular practice of daily meditation of no less than 30 minutes first thing in the morning and 30 minutes at the end of my day. Frequent affirmations such as “I am a peaceful person and I bring peace to the world” are helpful in reminding me who I am and wish to become more of.

Gandhi said it so well many years ago – be the change you wish to see in the world. If I wish to see peace in the world, I must be grounded in peace, to the point that should I meet someone who doesn’t speak my language, it is clear I am grounded in peace because I am that person in the world – they can see it in action.

Peace is not something that can be imposed externally. World peace will become a more probable reality every time one or more of us intentionally and consciously choose to be peace in the world. Thankfully, this energy is an ever-increasing part of our world today. Witness the prominence of Eastern philosophies which support personal awareness, personal responsibility as essential components to creating an aware and responsible world with a commitment to ending judgment and shame.

Buddhism continues to offer me the opportunity to love myself, to love others, and to love my enemies. It offers the compassionate lens to our common “suffering” and our ability to look at ourselves as microcosms of the world. If we can be honest with ourselves, fully loving and approving of ourselves, our innately compassionate hearts become engaged in this life, as we open up to our commonality and our shared wish for a better life for ourselves, for our children and for our beloved planet.

I am grateful for that roadside billboard and for its reminder of one of many truths – as within, so without.

Barbara McDowall is a spiritual teacher, mentor, doula for the dying and celebrant (weddings, baptisms, celebrations of life). Located in Toronto, Canada, she is available for consultation by phone or in person. For more information, and visit http://www.AuthenticLives.com

Written by: Jenn Weesies

Each February everyone puts a lot of effort into demonstrating their feelings towards their loved ones. They make or buy gifts, plan special excursions and recommit their lives to each other. They act in such a way that makes their special someone feel loved, cared for and cherished. Some people though, will argue that this demonstration of affection toward loved ones shouldn’t just occur during February but should happen all year long as well. Caregivers and family members of people experiencing incontinence are constantly striving to provide the best care for their loved ones to demonstrate their affection. However, as many know, caring for their loved one’s unique incontinence situation can be difficult.Incontinence is not uncommon. Urinary incontinence affects more than 200 million people worldwide and nearly 25 million American adults are currently experiencing temporary or chronic urinary incontinence. According to the National Association for Incontinence (NAFC), incontinence characteristically affects more women than men. In fact, one out of four women and one out of eight men experience incontinence.

Enhancing the quality of care you are providing your loved ones experiencing incontinence means improving the quality of control with the right products and right fit at the best price. Here are three ways that can help you demonstrate your affection towards your loved ones experiencing incontinence by ramping up the quality of your care.

1. Buy hospital grade incontinence care products to keep your loved one comfortable. Hospital grade incontinence care products are far superior to the products that you can buy at a local superstore. These products are better quality and can increase your assurance in managing your loved one’s incontinence. They provide the highest level of protection, superior odor protection, the best fit, and the latest technology to quickly draw wetness caused by urinary incontinence away from your loved one’s body. With hospital grade products you can be sure that your loved one will remain dry and comfortable all day long.

2. Buy from a knowledgeable home health care center or medical equipment supply company. Highly regarded home health care centers and medical equipment supply companies focus on ongoing personalized management for your loved one’s unique urinary incontinence situation. They can provide personal support over the phone, online and in the store to find the best incontinence care products for your loved one. Briefs, protective underwear, pads and liners are available in gender specific fits and an array of sizes and protection levels. Home health care centers and medical equipment supply companies can offer insight to customize incontinence care products for your loved one. They can also recommend products that are easy to get on and to change, improving the ease of care. Their knowledge can enhance quality of life for individuals dealing with incontinence and can help caregivers and families provide more supportive care.

3. Enroll in a home delivery program to save money and time. Experienced home health care centers and medical equipment supply companies can connect you with money and time saving options that other stores cannot. The best offer discreet home delivery programs that can supply caregivers and family members with the convenience of on-time supplies at their doorstep with a range of cost effective savings plans. These programs allow you to order the highest quality products in bulk. After all, buying and ordering incontinence care products should not have to take precious time away from spending moments with your loved ones.

Demonstrate your feelings towards your loved one experiencing incontinence all year long through providing them the best care and incontinence care products possible. Seek the help from a knowledgeable home health care center or medical equipment supply company. They have resources and support staff dedicated to making your job easier and your loved ones happy and comfortable.

About the Author Binson’s Home Health Care Centers began in Center Line, Mich. and has grown to the home health care center it is today. Currently, there are centers in Michigan and Florida. For more information about incontinence products and programs call Binson’s at 888-246-7667 or visit: http://www.binsons.com/

article from Content Crooner

A habit is a constant, often unconscious inclination to perform some act, acquired through its frequent repetition. If the habit is objectionable, we call it a “bad habit”.
It’s possible to control your habits and make a positive change in as little as 30 days. Focus on one habit at a time.
Caregiving bad habits often lead to increased stress and sometimes, even to elder abuse.
Elder abuse often starts as psychological abuse. If a caregiver doesn’t properly deal with her/his stress, they may start to wreak havoc by means of threats, fear, humiliation, fear, manipulation, or other bad conduct. This may include frequent harassment, criticizing, insults, or denigration.
It is important to be aware of any signs that you may be heading in the wrong direction.
Some of the signs include:

1. Trying to do too much, resulting in not getting anything done
2. Doing the wrong thing, regularly
3. Procrastination, everyday
4. Having no clear cut goals
5. Improper or no planning
6. Not completing tasks
7. Negative self talk
8. Guilt trips
9. Lax hand washing
10. Holding in, or offering no support
11. Smoking
12. Drinking too much
13. Junk food, poor diet
14. Emotional eating
15. Too much caffeine
16. Compulsive spending
17. No time off
18. Sleep deprived
19. Constant bad temper
20. Can’t or won’t delegate
21. Disorganized
22. Holding breath
23. Can’t prioritize
24. Time management problems
25. Can’t make a decision

Take an honest inventory of yourself. Make it a point to correct those bad habits. Habits are a matter of self-control. When you break bad habits you will be much more successful.

Here are 15 ways to reduce or diffuse stress which will, in turn, help alleviate bad habits.

1. Be honest about your bad habits and stress level.
2. Give your care-receiver a hug every day.
3. Do something nice for yourself each week.
4. Remember to breathe deeply.
5. Take a few minutes each morning to repeat an affirmation or focus on calmness.
6. Take at least a 20 minute brisk walk every day.
7. Choose 1-2 people to whom you can vent your frustrations. You need a good listener.
8. Choose to be happy.
9. Before you go to bed each night, review your day, and let go of the bad stuff.
10. Relax with a cup of tea.
11. Listen to your favorite music to relax.
12. Count your blessings
13. Be assertive with a smile on your face.
14. Keep a journal.
15. Try aromatherapy. Spritz some lavender on your pillow.

Being a caregiver is one of the most difficult jobs you can ever have. It is important to take good care of yourself so you can take good care of the care-receiver. It becomes even more critical the longer you are a caregiver. Put the odds in your favor and keep those habits in check.

Author Resource:- Rebecca Colmer is an Eldercare Advocate, Author, Speaker, Publisher, and Caregiver Expert. You can find books published by the author.

By: Rebecca Sharp Colmer

The caregiver role is complex and differs for everyone depending on the needs of the care-receiver.Many times, in the beginning, there may only be a few needs, such as providing transportation or helping with shopping or cooking.

Over time, needs increase, requiring additional services, until the care-receiver is fully dependent on the caregiver.Here are some tips to help you get started:

1. Every caregiver should know as much as possible about the care-receiver.You should know their characteristics and personality style. For example, you should know their likes, dislikes, family members, ailments, etc.

You should know if the care-receiver is outgoing or reserved, task-oriented or people-oriented. Once you get to know them better you will be able to understand their needs and behavior patterns.

2. Every caregiver should know and understand his/her responsibilities, duties, and tasks.As a caregiver, you have a responsibility to be sensitive to the needs of the care-receiver, and to find a way to satisfy their needs.

This may require you to enlist the help of others. The duties of the caregiver usually change and increase over a period of time. Set up and follow a care plan.

Recording essential daily information will assist everyone on the Care Team. It also allows another caregiver to take your place fairly easily.

3. Stay updated on the health condition of the care-receiver.

As the health of the elder deteriorates and more needs start to surface, it is important for the caregiver to find out how to cope with them.

Keep a log of his/her daily activities (medicine taken, food intake, sleep habits, temperament, etc.) so that you will always have a snapshot view of their current health.This information will help the doctor get a more complete picture of the condition of the care-receiver.

4. Assist as little as possible in tasks the senior can usually handle himself/herself. Just as it is not easy being a caregiver, it is not always easy being a care-receiver.

The gradual loss of independence and control over just about everything is difficult to accept. Remember, seniors have the right to their dignity and pride.

5. Caregivers should express warmth and concern towards the welfare of the care-receiver.

If the care-receiver has a poor self image or feelings of inferiority, the caregiver may have to provide reassurance while ignoring negative behavior.

A caregiver must have patience (and stamina) for change in moods.

6. Be a good listener. Many times seniors may simply want you to listen.They want to share their stories. Caregivers must be careful to avoid put downs and choosing sides.

Pay attention and be able to connect the dots between past, present, and future. Listen intuitively or use your sixth sense to hear underlying messages.

7. Smile a lot. Be a good friend and companion. Be as positive as possible.

8. When friends and family neglect to call or visit, do not hesitate to remind them.

9. Ask for help. Advocate for what you need. Sharing the care of a loved-one benefits everyone.

10. Maintain your self-composure and avoid stress. Elder abuse can occur as a result of caregiver stress.

It is imperative that you are aware of and deal with stress.

Author Resource :- Rebecca Colmer is an elder Care Advocate, Author, Speaker, Publisher, and Caregiver. You can find more caregiving tools and resources at her website:
Caregiving Tools

By : Andy West

We are a nation that is aging rapidly, with the largest generation, Baby Boomers, growing near to retirement age. Because of this, there will be many Americans in need of medical care in the next three or four decades, more so than in previous years. This means that more and more children and other relatives will be called upon to take care of their aging relatives. The economy in its current state has financially ruined hundreds of thousands of people, and this will undoubtedly affect the retirement of our Baby Boomers. In home health care and family caregiving, some predict that many of us will become do-it-yourselfers. That doesn’t have to be a daunting prospect if you have the right outlook and family caregiver training.

Nurturing those who nurtured you during your early years will give you pride in your familial relationships, not to mention the fact that you will be spending the last days caring for your relatives. The bonds shared during this time will give you memories for a lifetime after they’re gone. You’ll be helping your family in one of the best ways imaginable. It’s a noble calling, but you’ve got to be prepared in order to do it right. One of the best ways to prepare is by purchasing and watching training DVDs on the subject of elderly home care. Some of the material on training DVDs may already be common knowledge to most, but much of the material may be new to family members who’ve never had to care for a parent, disabled friend or elderly relative. A variety of videos are available on the market that will assist you in everything from the very basic to the very detailed and concise.

For instance, it’s vitally important to know what to do in cases of emergency, such as a home fire, or if the person you’re caring for has a heart attack, a stroke, a seizure, or a fall. Falls can have devastating consequences for the elderly, so you need to know what to do so that you can act quickly and calmly. Some efforts taken within the first five minutes of a serious event can safe a life. Knowing what to do in family emergencies will enable you to take appropriate action quickly. You will be prepared and know not to panic, or just make plain bad choices. Getting the proper training in family care giver techniques will help you to preserve the life and health of your important loved ones for years to come.

It’s not only important to know how to cope with emergencies; you must also know how to assess a person’s quality of life and know how you can assist. You may be required to carry out the common day-to-day tasks that caring for an elderly and infirm person demands. Some of them are simple things like knowing how to do laundry efficiently, iron, clean, help with showers and general hygiene. It’s also important to understand the value of good nutrition. Your needs may be completely different from your 90 year old aunt. She may need calcium, low sodium, low fat, nutrient enriched supplements, just to name a few. Being able to prepare a variety of different, tasty, nutritious meals is essential to caring for another person, especially when appetites are low. It is essential that the person you are caring for eat regularly, so they can maintain a good quality of life.

Being a good housekeeper, a good cook, and good training all make a great caregiver. With the current prices of medical care and the state of our economy, it’s no question that caring for your family will soon be more of a responsibility for the younger generations. Be prepared with family caregiver training, and get your siblings and cousins to join your efforts. You won’t soon be disappointed.

Author Resource:- Andy west is a writer for Medifecta, is dedicated to enhancing the well-being and knowledge of professionals through family caregiver training. For more information please visit Medifecta.com.

Towards effective communication with those cognitively impaired by Alzheimer’s disease or other dementias.

1. Gain Attention

No information will be retained if the individual is not attentive or concentrating on the person giving instructions. Gain eye contact, call out the individual’s name, touch her and do not begin to talk until you are sure you have her attention. If hearing is a problem, never call out instructions when the back is turned, when a distance away or calling from another room. The sound will be a jumble of noise, which has no clarity.

2. Break down task into stages

Those with memory problems have difficulty retaining a multistage command such as “After you have finished shaving put on your blue shirt and gray trousers, and don’t forget to comb your hair.” With all this information the person with a dementia does not know where to begin. Recall will be confused and the individual will become frustrated, afraid of failing and may refuse to attempt the task. You must decide on the sequence needed to complete the task.

3. Give instructions one step at a time

Give only the information that is relevant at that time. Let all the clues in the conversation be geared to the fulfillment of that one step. Only when it has been completed should you move on to the next instruction.

4. Avoid ambiguity

Language is lost in dementia. It is not just the forgotten word, but the language becomes more concrete and is interpreted more literally. Ambiguity therefore leads to misinterpretation. Humour, which depends so much on a play on words, the double entendre, is not understood. The individual may be able to use long-term memory to tell a joke, but may not get it when told one. Euphemisms must be avoided. We must explain precisely what we mean. To “Make a bed” literally means to get out the hammer and nails; “do you need a washroom” does not literally mean, “do you have to pee?” The question “how many children do you have” may be met with the answer “I don’t have any children.” Whereas the correct answer may be produced by asking “how many sons/daughters do you have?”. In the mind of the concrete thinker, children are youngsters and have not grown up. Our words must be more literal, have less flowery descriptions and be to the point.

5. Limit distractions

Those with a dementia have difficulty interpreting the stimuli that bombard them. We may hear the siren from a fire truck in the distance, recognize what it is, assess that it is not coming to our house and then tune it out. For the person who is cognitively impaired that sound is of unknown origin and will distract her from the task at hand. It will occupy her thoughts and your words will be lost. The radio or TV playing in the background may not distract you, but it will certainly absorb the person who is having difficulty understanding and focusing on her environment.

6. Speak slowly and clearly

We must slow down our speech to the speed of the impaired person’s thinking. We must speak clearly to aid the hearing impaired and to ensure our words are not misinterpreted. When the mother tongue is not the one you are communicating in ensure your language is straightforward. Words from a second language are often lost and individuals may return to their mother tongue.

7. Use visual clues, gestures, demonstrations, pictures

Many who have dementia suffer from perceptual problems. That is, they have difficulty correctly interpreting the stimuli they receive from their environment. This may show itself through failing to understand verbal instructions, read warning signs, or recognize familiar objects and their use. If a blue shirt is placed on a blue bedspread, an impaired individual may not be able to differentiate the colours or textures and fail to locate the shirt. If the blue shirt is in a crowded closet, the individual may only see a jumbled mass of colour and not identify the shirt for its whole shape is not visible. He may face the closet, not recognize a shirt and say that there isn’t one there. Or in frustration will just keep putting back on the one taken off the previous evening. Sometimes understanding where the body is in space maybe impaired, dressing and undressing may become difficult. The individual may choose not to undress at all. Some will have difficulty initiating an action or plan a series of actions. Dressing and feeding will become more difficult. To compensate for these losses we must provide the individual with clues. Pictures and gestures may provide recognition when your words do not. Some may be able to mimic the action of another person while being unable to initiate the action. If you gesture with a toothbrush, he may be able to mimic the action. If you guide the spoon to his mouth, he may be able to carry on when the instruction “drink your soup” brought no response. What may be lost is the recognition of an objects use. Therefore the toothbrush may be used like a comb, the razor like a toothbrush. If this is the case we must ensure the safety of the individual and give clues, such as handing the person the correct object for the task.

8. Repeat

There are so many reasons why a person with a disease such as Alzheimer’s may have difficulty following instructions and performing tasks. Therefore it is important to repeat the information over and over again. We may become angry and wish to shout “but I’ve told you a thousand times…..” but it is important to understand that they are hearing it as if for the first time.

9. Limit Options

“What do you want for lunch?” May be met with “I don’t want lunch” since the individual cannot conjure an answer out of nowhere.
So you counter with “Would you like a ham and cheese sandwich or an egg salad sandwich?” and the reply is “I don’t know.” Most people with a dementia cannot make a decision and so often will reply “no.” If given a menu in a restaurant she will order what the person before her ordered – even if she has never liked it. So you say “But you never order liver.” Now the person with dementia is embarrassed, anxious, uncomfortable and has really lost her appetite.
Finally you say “How about an egg sandwich for your lunch, okay?” The sandwich gets eaten.
It is only by trial and error that we find out at what level the decision-making ability is. But by giving choice we can offer a sense of control and confidence. Sometimes that choice is purely agreeing with the decision we have made. We would not want to say “do you want your pills now?” because we don’t want her to say no. But we can offer the pills with apple juice or water. By providing limited options we give information that can be acted on. If we just ask, “What do you want?” we will be no further ahead.

10. Avoid confrontation

“I told you to meet me outside the post office.” “No you didn’t.” “Yes I did.” This is a conversation that is going nowhere. There will be no resolution to the argument. There will be two angry people. Projecting fault onto others is a defense mechanism all of us use. An object which has been misplaced, must have been stolen. We can protect ourselves when we can blame someone else. It is important that we do not enter the argument. Change the subject till the anxiety has lessened. It is possible to think more clearly when less anxious. Avoid having the last word.

11. Use residual skills

An individual with a dementia such as Alzheimer’s disease is loosing the ability to perform past learned skills. We must recognize the skills that remain and provide opportunity to perform them. This way he will remain stimulated, involved and retain self respect. Activities of a repetitive nature are best because sequencing is often difficult.

12. Reduce chance of failure

Learn the limits of her performance and attempt to secure an environment where he can function within those limits. Maybe she used to like to watch TV but now gets agitated when the commercials come on. Pre-recording programs with the commercials removed can lead to hours of enjoyment. We can use the memory loss to advantage by re-playing the same program at intervals. Indeed the familiarity often relaxes the individual whose memory loss makes her feel as if everything is new.

13. Avoid sensory overload

A person with a cognitive impairment will often have difficulty interpreting the sights and sounds of the world around her. Too much sensory input will cause confusion, anxiety and fear. It is as if a fuse blows and there can be what is known as a catastrophic reaction. That is behaviour which, to us, is out of proportion to the events occurring. There may be displays of aggression, running away, shouting etc. It is often possible to recognize the signs of this building, but often we fail to see the warning signs. Often we do not realize the distracting stimuli present when we demand action. We may feel we do not have time to wait for him to calm down before proceeding. But time invested in preventing a catastrophic reaction will be well spent in the long term.

14. Provide a calm familiar environment.

Maintain routines in daily schedules. Don’t make major changes like rearranging the furniture. If the individual has to be moved to a new setting, then take some familiar objects to be there when she arrives. When complex task are performed such as dressing and eating, ensure that distractions are minimal. If she must follow verbal instructions, ensure your voice is the one that will be noticed. Turn off the TV; close the door to others etc.

Caregivers, especially relatives, who have known an individual before the cognitive deficits changed him/her, have difficulty altering the way they relate. It is hard to break well-established habits. But the impaired person is in fact no longer the person from yesterday. The person before you now has new needs; severe limitations and can no longer live up to past expectations. It is the caregiver who must let the past go and learn to communicate on a new level. This cannot be achieved alone. All caregivers need emotional support. They must build around them a support system, a network of friends and professionals as they fulfill this difficult role.

I got the email below this morning from Avaaz.org and I was reminded that I became a member of the Avaaz movement and started receiving these emails when I signed "Join Avaaz!" on 2011-07-13. Avaaz—meaning "voice" in several European, Middle Eastern and Asian languages - was launched in 2007 with a simple democratic mission: organize citizens of all nations to close the gap between the world we have and the world most people everywhere want.

In those days there were fewer than a million supporters; as of writing there are now 43,089,227 members in 194 countries. We have seen action on many fronts, been part of changing behaviours and creating hope.

On my facebook page I asked others to sign the petition to eradicate female genital mutilation in Somalia which affects 98% of women in that country. A practice that often leads to constant pain and infections, sterility and death. Today I read that the President of the country and some ministers have signed the petition. I am the change I want to see in the world. With Avaaz.org I can play my part.

100% of its funding comes from small individual donations - no corporate, government, foundation, or large donor money. We can't be bought by "big money." In fact we are a thorn in the side of big money - a 43-million-person global campaign network that works to ensure that the views and values of the world's people shape global decision-making.

So the joy filled letter I received today shares some of the achievements from petitions this year alone.

Dear amazing Avaazers,

If you ever doubt that our efforts together are worth it, or if you're just needing a bit of hope and light in your day, read on. Bet you won't be able to stop :).

Avaaz Movement Wins 2016 (So Far!!)

Fin whales swim free

For years, Icelandic millionaire badboy Kristjan Loftsson has massacred hundreds of endangered giant fin whales. But no more!! Working with allies, a million of us pressed the Dutch government to close their ports to him, then German Avaazers helped to block ports there too. Then we caused a media and political storm in the Caribbean where Loftsson’s ship was registered. After years of pressure, he’s called off the hunt!

“The global pressure brought by the Avaaz community has no doubt played a big role in Loftsson’s welcome decision.”

- Vanessa Williams-Grey, Whale and Dolphin Conservation.

Saudi Arabia: No More Weapons For You

Saudi Arabia is a human rights nightmare, but after they bombed schools and hospitals in Yemen, calls rose in Europe for an arms embargo. When EU politicians started to waver under the pressure of powerful Saudi lobbyists, 740,000 Avaazers weighed in, flooding members of parliament with messages and calls. And we won -- for the first time in history, a Western parliament voted to ban arms sales to Saudi Arabia! Now the pressure is on for governments to follow the European lead.

"We’ve received calls from Scotland to France to Yemen calling for action, Avaaz played a major role to bring this message to the European Parliament."

- Alyn Smith, Member of European Parliament

Blocking Monsanto's most profitable poison

Monsanto’s glyphosate weedkiller is everywhere, providing much of the mega-corporation’s revenue. So when UN experts said it likely causes cancer, 1.5 million of us called to ban it! With Europe set to re-approve its licence for 15 years, Avaaz delivered our petition and thousands of us sent urgent messages to our governments. In the final hour, support collapsed, and the EU commission was forced to postpone the vote! We’ll keep the pressure up until we get the ban our planet needs.

“The Avaaz campaign helped to raise awareness and concern of the general public about glyphosate. This helped me as a parliamentarian to work on this issue… Stay with us in this fight”

- Pavel Poc, MEP and Vice Chair of the Environment, Health and Food Safety Committee for the European Parliament.

Winning for Palestine

After horrendous civilian death in Gaza, almost 2 million of us called on 6 major companies to stop profiting from the Israeli military occupation of Palestine. Our movement sent messages to CEOs, held rallies from London to Ramallah, met with government and corporate officials, and lobbied other countries to cut ties with those companies. And as of last month, 3 of the 6 have pulled out!! It’s a tactic that's having impact in the struggle for freedom and peace.

“The nearly 2 million Avaazers joining the fight for companies to divest from the occupation shows Israel the public push to end this oppression is going mainstream.”

- Rabbi Alissa Wise, Deputy Director, Jewish Voice for Peace

Saving the lost Refugee Children

Thousands of Syrian children seeking refuge are lost in Europe, without their parents and preyed upon by child traffickers. That’s why 40,000 of us donated to fund lawyers to find them, provide legal support, and get them to safety. Dozens of children are already being helped. And just this week, three boys arrived in London and were reunited with their families for the first time in months!

"Nothing I could say could convey how grateful I truly am to all of you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart."

- One of the boys on arriving in the UK

Somalia ban FGM

The Prime Minister of Somalia just joined over a million of us by signing our petition to support a full ban on female genital mutilation! Somali women’s rights experts told us that global pressure could help them outlaw female genital mutilation -- but we never imagined that the Somali Prime Minister, Foreign Minister, and dynamic Minister for Women and Human Rights would respond by signing the petition, too! Working with these leaders, UNICEF and survivors, it’s now likely that FGM, done to 98% of Somali women, will become illegal!

“I am committed to outlaw FGM in Somalia through legislation, advocacy, education, and community engagement.”

- Somali Prime Minister, Omar Abdirashid Ali Sharmark, as he signed our petition.

Shining Our Light in 2016

These battles are part of deeper struggles -- between forces of love and fear, hope and despair, ignorance and understanding. Sometimes Avaaz campaigns are about shining our movement’s light into these struggles, to help shift our culture and politics. Here's some awesome light-shining examples from the last few months:

Celebrating Greek Heros

Inspired by Greek fishermen and pensioners who have saved and cared for thousands of desperate refugee families, Avaaz member, Alkmini, started a petition to nominate these unsung heroes for the Nobel Peace Prize. Then more than 600,000 of us backed the request, and Desmond Tutu endorsed an official submission by 230 academics to the Nobel Committee.This moving story of humanity triumphing over fear captured the world’s media from CNN to the BBC.

"In times when fear and racism are threatening our societies and Europe is raising fences, the big mobilisation of Avaaz members made the voice of humanity echo loudly around the world."

- Co-Founder of the Leros Solidarity Network, Matina Katsiveli

Guatemala Slavery

After decades of silence, 14 brave women just went to court to confront the Guatemalan generals who kept them as sex slaves. As they entered the courtroom we surrounded them with love, delivering messages from over 40,000 Avaaz members across Latin America. The women’s courage prevailed and for the first time ever these generals were convicted of crimes against humanity!

"I was happy to hear the messages of support. I know I'm not alone, and I wanted to uncover my face when I heard that there are people all around the world that support me."

- One of the women, Doña Rosa

Cologne

After women were attacked on New Year's Eve in Germany, a flood of racism and xenophobia spread. Refugee men responded by handing out flowers to women on the streets as a show of respect. To return the gesture and show solidarity and welcome, a hundred female Avaaz members went out to hand flowers back to refugees in Cologne, the site of the attacks. Their video went viral!

"Refugee men handed out flowers to women as a sign of peace. As Avaaz members we wanted to reciprocate this courageous gesture to show that we counter hate with humanity."

- Maresa, Avaaz member

Achh, that stuff just lifts your heart doesn't it?

The really crazy part is, those stories are a small fraction of our movement's work together over the last few months!

What we're doing matters, we're winning, and we're winning in a way that is building the kind of world we dream of for our children. There is much to do, but this is a moment for gratitude for the 43 million scrumptiously wonderful people in this beautiful movement. What a joy it is to do this together.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!

With love and gratitude,

Ricken, Alice, Ben, Maria Paz, Emily, Risalat, Mike, Lisa, and the whole Avaaz team.

Costa Rica is a small country in Central America, about the size of West Virginia, separating Nicaragua to the north from Panama to the south-east. The Caribbean washes beaches on the east side, and the Pacific is to the west. The country offers an abundance of natural features, wildlife and the people show heart and passion.

The country's population is around 5 million with San José having an estimated population of 1,393,000 people. San José, the capital, rests in the central valley at an altitude of 3,839 feet (1,170 m) and can be a cooler place to stay. It is the transportation hub, a commercial centre and the place where all the cars and motor bikes in the country seem to gather. Tourists spend little time here with so much more countryside, rain forests, volcanoes and beaches to attract them. But with a main airport and roads radiating out from it, most people pass through. It is a city worth seeing purely to get a greater understanding of the history which makes this country unique.

By choosing a central hotel in which to stay, one can cover much of the city on foot. One such is Hotel Balmoral located on the pedestrian-only Avenida Central between Calle 7 & 9. Stepping out of the hotel and turning to the east (left) along Avenida Central, one comes to the impressive Jade Museum located between Calle 13 and the National Artisans Market. Much confusion abounds on the internet as the old location is still well documented putting it between Calles 9-11, Avenidas 7-9. Ignore those directions.

The collection of jade artifacts date from 500 B.C. to 800 A.D and the history is exquisitely laid out with wall panels, models and display cases. Jade is not native to Costa Rica and would have been acquired by trading. It is a very hard stone and the carving of it would have been arduous. The objects tell the story of the life and times of the people.

The history, rituals and cultural practices are also revealed through the large collection of pre-Columbian poly chrome terracotta vases, bowls and figurines. The display is on several floors and each room has a different ambiance, never leading to boredom. A pleasant café on the ground floor serves sandwiches and coffee.

Continue past the artisans market and one comes to the Plaza de la Democracia beyond which is a yellow fort looking building which houses the National Museum. We did not stop at this museum but I mention it because we did head south through the plaza and cross Avenida 2 to reach a quirky, recommended, restaurant where we had dinner the first night we were in town. It has enamel mugs hanging down, amongst bananas and onions, from wooden ceiling beams. The Restaurante Nuestra Tierra serves its coffee in the traditional Chorreador - a coffee making device where the coffee is dripped through a bolsita - a cotton bag. Not a cheap place, but you pay for the atmosphere reminiscent of a old Costa Rican homestead kitchen and the authentic food served on banana leaves is plentiful and tasty.

Head west (right) from the Hotel Balmoral along Aveneda Central, and one crosses Calle 5 to find the Plaza de la Cultura. At its south side is the red roof and side of the famous National Theatre, but under the plaza is the heavily guarded Pre-Columbian Gold Museum. As with the Jade museum it tells the story of the indigenous people of Costa Rica through 1600 pieces of gold worked between 500AD and 1500AD. The gold came from river silt and shoreline sand. The amazing workmanship reflects the social organization and everyday life of the people before the arrival of the Spanish in the 1500s.

It is important to walk around to the front of the National Theatre in the Plaza Juan Mora Fernandez. The Plaza is a vibrant noisy place with people sitting and watching the world go by and many hawkers accosting tourist groups to sell them ceramic whistles, sunglasses and out of circulation colourful old currency bills.

With the export of coffee to Europe, wealth came to Costa Rica and the desire for European culture. Since opera singers refused to perform in the previously existing building and there was difficulty coordinating the fund raising, it was the coffee merchants themselves who put a tax on each bag of coffee sold to raise the funds necessary to build an opera house. The classical style Renaissance theatre has marble brought from Italy and frescoed ceilings. The National Theatre is modeled on the famous Opera in Paris, was opened in 1897 and the first performance was Gounod's Faust.

To the left of the foyer is a café with marbled topped metal tables and chairs. Amazing fruit smoothies and light meals are served along with the ever important coffee. If a visit to the washroom is required one asks the waiter for a ticket permitting entry into the corridor surrounding the theatre. Before making a right turn to the washrooms I took a quick look through the curtains blocking off the concert hall to gaze on Costa Rica's pride and joy.

Exit the theatre on to Avenida 2 and head west one block to find the Metropolitan Cathedral. It faces the Central Park and another artisan market where crafts made in Central American countries are sold for reasonable prices. I tried bargaining in these markets but found there was little to be gained and basically the asking prices were fair. The Cathedral has pleasant colonial tiled flooring and stain glass windows. It is a good place to sit for a rest. It was built in 1871 after its predecessor had been destroyed by an earthquake.

Walking the streets of the city centre one gets a feel for the architecture, the industriousness of the inhabitants and a sense of who Costa Ricans think they are. We just got a small taste of what was offered. Strolling north to Morazán Park we found backless park benches enabling couples to sit astride the seat and so be in closer contact with each other.

Across the park is the tall Holiday Inn Hotel advertising a casino. We spent a pleasant couple of hours there out of the cool wind and threatening rain, playing the slot machines. There are many other casinos in town. Playing in the local currency with 500 colones to the dollar, allowed for an inexpensive outing.

For our last meal we looked for something simple and inexpensive. We could have - but had no wish to - had a meal at the KFC opposite the hotel. Instead we went one block west, up Calle 5 to the RostiPollos, obviously a place where the locals go. No English spoken but understood, we shared one dinner of half a chicken and mashed potatoes given to us with two plates. This was washed down with glasses of beer. A quiet friendly place.

I now have finished the coffee beans I brought back from Costa Rica, grown on the property where I walked. I've seen some beaches, volcanoes, rain forests, birds and animals and I have captured a few precious moments in my memory of the country's capital, San José.

I've just spent 16 days in Costa Rica absorbing the sun, the rain; coast, volcanoes, rain forest, birds, animals, reptiles, insects, friendly Ticos and embracing an atmosphere of hope. I was so aware that there was a radiating proud passion exuding from all who wished to share the magic of their homeland with me.

All too soon it was time to be at the airport hotel in San José for the imminent departure. It was a spacious luxurious hotel for sure, but once in one's room a sense of what city, what country am I in? A rude awakening from memories of palapa style accommodation or one with a floor to ceiling window displaying a volcano where we were awakened by the call of howler monkeys.

The day had started with me filming Scarlet Macaws nesting in a 400 year old ceiba tree (kapok) and now I was in an international hotel room somewhere. But there was something different as I walked the building. Orchids and other endemic plants were on display, area of garden were visible flaunting flowering bushes and trees and quiet corners with statues and greenery. I am not in the business of giving publicity to the corporate world and this is definitely not a promo blog, but I have to share my experience before leaving Costa Rica, something so Costa Rican to the end. The Wyndham San José Herradura Hotel embraces some of the Costa Rican values - preserving nature, being environmentally friendly and aiding the creation of a better world.

After breakfast overlooking one of the swimming pools, we asked a member of the wait staff about the orchid nursery. Not only did she take us there but showed us around. Another staff member joined us and explained that the orchids were grown for display within the hotel but also prepared to attach to tree trunks where they would root and bloom in the gardens. We heard of the organic vegetable and herb garden, the produce from which are used in the hotel.

We sat in one of the gardens with crotons and bougainvillea, hibiscus, bottlebrush and heliconia. There were bananas and mangos and, waving on long stalks, flowering orchids growing from the tree trunks.

The hotel has a waste water treatment plant, does not use fertilizers in the garden but compost and the products from a wormery. A pesticide made from garlic, onion and pepper is used.

I learned that all organic waste goes to a pig farm and used kitchen oil is used to produce bio-diesel. Biodegradable products are used for cleaning and sanitation purposes. I found that the hotel was part of the Blue Flag Ecological Program and has a Certification for Sustainable Tourism. Requirements include reducing the use of water, electricity and fuel by at least 5% over the previous year, a 25% reduction in the use of paper and the elimination of aerosols. Costa Rica is serious about sustainable tourism. The beauty and biodiversity of the country is breathtaking. The population eager to ensure it lasts for ever.

The tropical plants that I had discovered in the rain forests near Costa Rica's Caribbean coast and those I found in the transitional forest on the Pacific shore were waiting for me and waving a farewell from a hotel garden near San José airport. I waited for the airport shuttle feeling I had been gifted.

This holiday season is always a time of ritual, sometimes religious, social or familial. As one's life changes, so new rituals are born. There are two which are fairly constant for me. I tend to see more movies at this time of the year than at any other time and I try to take in one on Christmas Day. The other is to visit the festive display in the Conservatory in Allan Gardens in Toronto. The park flaunts many old trees and there is a very busy off leash dog area. But centre stage are the glass houses filled with plants and trees, fish, amphibians and reptiles. On New Year's Day I entered, yet again, the Victoria style circular Palm House with its massive bananas, bamboo and screw pine. On display are roughly 40 varieties of poinsettias. This season's topiary displays are in the form of a skater and a tobogganer.

Amongst the coloured balls and wreaths a variety of birds have been placed amongst the foliage or are sitting on nests. Indeed a life size Canada goose sits regally on a nest. A whimsical display for, as the snow gently falls outside this New Years Day, it is definitely not breeding season.

With only the camera on my cell phone available to use this year, I became fascinated with and photographed the differing leaf patterns seen anew. I noticed a frog swimming amongst the fish in the pond with the fountain of Leda and the Swan.

Another plant to draw my attention was the Brazilian Calico flower. the emergence to full bloom from bud takes on a journey of embryonic progression.

Even on a holiday the conservatory did not feel crowded. It is open ever day of the year and is free. This truly is a blessing in the heart of the city and visiting it is a beloved ritual in my life. It grounds me. It reminds me that even in a turbulent world, nature remains.

At the beginning of this post I wrote "as one's life changes, so new rituals are born." Mine is playing Texas Hold'em on Boxing Day. But more about that another time...

A trip to Spain, which took place 15th-30th September 2015, came to fruition long after its conception. Indeed the conception may have coincided with that of cataracts growing in both my eyes. Time passed and when I eventually flew to Madrid I knew the dates of my surgery for cataract removal would be 21st and 28th October. It was, therefore, with cloudy vision that I viewed Spain.

I traveled with my friend of 37 years, Kristin. She had lived in Madrid during the 1990’s and longed to return to visit old friends and to explore some old haunts and new vistas. My yearning to be in Spain was to experience the new. In the 1960’s I had visited the island of Majorca and, on the mainland, the city of Granada. The latter had generated the desire to not only see more of Spain but to visit Morocco. This North African journey was taken in 2014.

When planning the Spanish trip we decided Kristin would do all the driving and I would navigate. When the sojourn began I was not so sure about the navigating part as I could no longer read the road signs – essential when navigating Spain’s numerous round-abouts. I had brought magnifying lenses, but wasn’t confident my eyes would register through them. So began a journey more stressful than I ever imagine travel would be for me. As I write this my surgery is still 2 days away so I do not yet know how my confidence will return; how the world will present itself to me in the future. To be sure this world traveler will not take my vision for granted in the future. I cherish the moment when I have the good fortune to see the world again. But that is in the future and now I will share the seeing of five places in Spain through an impressionist’s gaze.

We spent five nights in an Airbnb.com 2 bedroom apartment in the La Latino district of Madrid to begin our stay. Neither of us had booked via this agency before and we were thrilled with our successful venture. We had been joined by Ingrid from Oslo who stayed with us while we were in Madrid. Being in this city with those who had lived here in the past, introduced me to Spanish customs, food and the language.

On our second day in Madrid we headed to the Ermita de San Antonio de la Florida. It is a neo-classic building, now a decommissioned church, built by Charles 1V between 1792-98. The ceiling frescoes were painted by Francisco de Goya, depicting the miracle of St Anthony of Padua. The story is from 13th century Lisbon. Goya illustrated the scenes as if in his own era, painting the frescoes in the light and brightness of Madrid in 1798. It was an enchanting place despite the fact that it is the resting place of Goya’s remains, brought there in 1919. Mirrors tilted upwards allowed one to view the art work on the ceiling without straining the neck. I peered into the mirrors, I strained my neck to look upwards. I could see the colours of flowing clothes but each face remained blank. If I could have been allowed to take photographs I could have zoomed in my focus and viewed the images on my screen. I can see up close. But a clouding haze blurs everything at a distance. I have the bilingual flyer depicting a girl with arms stretched above her head, eyes looking up, her nose finely formed and her long hair flowing behind her. She sports a reddish rust sash. This I can see relatively clearly twelve inches from my face but she was separated from me in situ by a veil.

The route back to La Latina took us through a park area and the Egyptian Templo de Debod which had originally stood south of Aswan in Egypt. It was gifted to Spain in 1968 in appreciation for help in raising the temples of Abu Simbel from the rising reservoir waters behind the Aswan High Dam. I was in Aswan in 1978 and visited the saved reconstructed temples of Abu Simbel.

On our walk this September day we passed the monument for the Spanish poet and playwright Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra including the statue of Don Quixote and Sancho Panza in Plaza de España. They were quite amazing close up.

I realize how much I have accommodated my visual loss over this past year. I have stopped driving at night because the halos and glare of headlights cross my whole field of vision. I have stopped cleaning my glasses so regularly expecting it to make a difference. I let the familiar shapes of words on road signs guide me rather than waiting till the sign is about to pass before I can distinguish the letters. I have relied more on recognizing friends by their gestures, shape and walking style than seeing their face. This was especially so if the light was behind them. Then they came to me a dark silhouette. It is only when I place myself in a totally unfamiliar environment do I realize my loss. When I was standing below Goya’s frescoes, seeing the faces completely void of features, I knew how grateful I was that my surgery dates were scheduled.

Claude Monet, the pioneer of impressionist painting said in 1922 “My poor eyesight makes me see everything in a complete fog.” Although he received surgery to remove one cataract, he never had it done on the second. He had been depressed by his diminished eye sight and in 1914 had complained that reds had begun to look muddy. The fog is something with which I can identify. Colours for me may be dimmer but I do not think changed. But for Monet the fog was yellow, vastly changing the colours, and his paintings from his ten years with cataracts show the impact. Indeed it is said that only by reading the paint tube labels did he know the colour others would see. Edgar Degas had a retinal degeneration and his later paintings failed to show defined features and were coarser in texture. The work of both artists became more abstract as their visual acuity decreased.

I entered Museo Nacional Del Prado. I let my friend Kristin select the few acclaimed pieces, understanding that the internet and art books at a later date would enable me to “see” them for the first time. But I would have been in their presence and have gained an impression of them, just as Monet and Degas, if they had ever visited the Prado, would have done.

Kristin took me to see the salon with Goya’s Black Paintings from 1819 -1823. Originally painted on the walls of his house near the end of his life they are haunting reminders of the pain of aging, being deaf, fearful and disillusioned with life. There certainly was no joy evident that had been seen in the ceiling frescoes at the Ermita de San Antonio de la Florida, painted early in his life. A reminder of how we change.

Then to the salons of Diego Velazquez. Since I could stand relatively close to these paintings they were clearer that the Goya ceiling frescoes at the Ermita. I could even see the facial expression and texture of the clothing materials at eye level. However once I had to look up, the clarity faded. And so it was that I stood before Las Meninas, the courtly work of Diego Velazquez from 1656, the era of Philip lV of Spain. From its blurred presence I could tell there were many figures, including those reflected in a mirror whom I yearned to see in detail.

A low cord kept us from getting too close to the paintings but it also separated me from the written information panels to the side of the pictures. At one point I learned over to read the script. A strident voice in severe Spanish came over my shoulder. I knew what the words meant. “I’m only trying to read the words” I said lamely. The resulting Spanish response for all I knew was “I don’t give a flying F, get away from the pictures.” Suddenly I had a need to stand up for all those with visual problems. I took one of the magnifying lenses from my purse and standing straight up expended my magnifying lens. No one bothered me. Trouble was the distance and the lens focal length didn’t match and I was no better off.

From Madrid we drove north. At Santo Domingo de la Calzada we came into the world of the Camino de Santiago. It was evening before we walked the streets and by 9pm they were empty. Street lamps shone on the damp stone houses with doors opening straight onto the narrow streets.

There were signs for peregrino (pilgrim) lodgings, and the iconic sign of the scallop shell was etched into the paving stones. I stood in the stillness, marveling at the experience. Just being there where millions have trod with aching feet, differing goals and expectations and spiritual journeys. All of us on a different path through life, all searching for a way to take ourselves from the edge of the shell and turn to the centre. There was an eeriness in the darkness. Shadows fell on old wooden doors locked against the night. But it was the street lights that occupied my attention. The balls of light like those white fireworks which shoot out from the centre getting bigger until the edges fade into the night sky. These street lamps, as seen through my cataracts, blazed out to consume the whole street. Leaving the street where they did not reach, oh so dark. My first steps on the Camino are held firmly in my memory.

We drove into the Basque country, the Rioja wine district, the Bay of Biscay coast and came to the ancient town of Santillana del Mar in the Province of Cantabria. Being there in September meant there were fewer tourists filling the narrow cobbled streets of the medieval village. It is situated in a mountainous region filled with caves. For us it was a stopping off ground for the Altimera caves and more important to my story, high in the mountains, the el Soplao. Our timing was perfect. We bought our tickets at our hotel for 2pm. High in the mountains we went to the train platform. The train was like those miners used to go into the mines. We were the only people there and the guide could therefore give us an hour of her time speaking in English. I have been in several memorable caves of stalactites and stalagmites including Majorca’s Caves of Drach (1960s) and the Luray caverns in the Shenandoah valley of Virginia (1970s). But this was different, 40 plus years later.

In an article about different forms of speleotherms (stalactites etc) Rui Nunes wrote of those called eccentric – “The threads of calcite or aragonite are interwoven, making whimsical knots beyond any restriction imposed by Earth’s gravity.” The Soplao caves were filled with such wonderful creations defying gravity with their multi-directional patterns. Some looked like a head of hair caught by electricity and sticking up in all directions, others looked like roving worms. It was a magical experience. However light was focused on the structures with only minimal on the ground we walked. The guide told me there were no steps, it was all on the flat. I could not tell, I walked hesitantly looking down at my feet and not gazing in wonder around me. Until I had to make the decision to trust. A difficult decision. I did not want to slip or fall but I had to give up the control and allow someone to lead me. Oh how these cataracts are teaching me to be humble. As we left the caves by the train we saw a coach load of Spanish students arriving and felt so blessed that we had experienced the caves alone.

The final location where my cataracts and I had to interact was Avila, north west of Madrid. This is a walled medieval town and a UNESCO World Heritage Site. The event I wish to share occurred in the Baroque church attached to the Convent of St. Teresa. She was a mystic, writer and reformer of the Carmelites. St. Teresa was born in Gotarrendura in 1515 and spent her childhood in Avila. She founded the Convent of St Joseph in 1562 and went on to start 15 more around Spain. She died in 1582.

This convent bearing St Teresa’s name, in the Plaza de la Santa, was built in 1636 after her canonization. The church I entered was built on the site of her childhood home. Most references to the story insist she was born in this house.

An alcove to the left of the main church entry takes one to several intimate areas. Through a glass window one can look down on a small garden where Teresa was reputed to have played. Close by is a chapel honoring her and beyond this a bedroom displaying evidence of a wealthy family. One can look at it though a wall of glass.

We came upon this area without the crowds. We could sit in the chapel where there were very few chairs. We could be in silence absorbing the hallowedness of the environment. I am not a Catholic, I am not familiar with the lives of saints. But her story is one of adventure, determination, pain and redemption. An amazing read. This quiet corner captivated us. It drew out a spiritual empathy in me for a woman whose life I could not envisage experiencing. Our peace was soon broken by the next group of time counting tourists who looked, chatted and took their photos before leaving.

Did anyone stop to question the meaning of the paintings, did any understand the pain that brought Teresa ecstasy? Did they know of her soul journey and that of colleague St. John of the Cross? Did they know the meaning of the “cherub faces” carved on the walls of the chapel which did not look like cherubs?

They looked at the bedroom and made comments about not knowing nuns slept in four poster beds with crimson bed spreads. Then there were those who spoke languages other than English who giggled and left. When all was quiet I went to the glass window which separated the young Teresa’s bedroom from the hoards. The light was dim. I tentatively went forward pointing my toes to determine if there was a step or not. My hand went before me for I had no idea where the glass window started. I did not want to bang my nose on it. All who had been around me had shown no such hesitation.

I know that when I have my new lenses in place I will see the world very differently. Perhaps as never before. Will I soon forget this version of reality by taking my enhanced vision post operations for granted? Only time will tell. But I do know that the memory of travelling in Spain as an impressionist will not change. For the colours of the plains of La Mancha, the mountains in the north and the cold blue of the Atlantic ocean all lend themselves to blurred edges. The clarity in the works of Goya and Velazquez will have to wait.

Research shows that if the ocean dies, we all die. Sea Sick by Alanna Mitchell presents the facts as they are know today.

For centuries we have been dumping our waste into the ocean presuming it is safe at the bottom. Today our toxins used on land are going out to sea and destroying everything with which they come in contact. Oil leaks from ships, untreated human waste and plastic infiltrate the precious eco systems of the ocean.

The website The story of Stuff.org has for many years produced animated movies describing the consequences of our behavior, how it impacts the planet and what this inevitably does to us. I saw their first movie in 2007 and it certainly had an impact on the way I looked at our consumer society. It is a 21 minute film and well worth watching.

The latest film made by the people at The story of stuff is about microbeads. They are the tiny beads of plastic added to our cosmetics which get washed down the drain and into the ocean. Once there, they attract all the other toxins in the water and become lethal weapons. They are found in the bodies of seabirds and fish. If you happen to eat fish, as I do, we are eating plastic too. I don’t think that is a good thing.

We let corporations poison us and we don’t expect our governments to stand up for our rights. Seems like suicidal behaviour to me. I invite you to watch this 2 minute informative movie.

On a happier note, go to the website and watch The Story of Solutions .

One world. One chance to get it right.

The central desert of the Mexican Baja Peninsula is a magical place. The sun will set with strange shapes silhouetted against the evening sky. The early morning light is clear and penetrating, accentuating the textures of the multi species of cactus and desert plants. There are boulders and caves with ancient primitive rock paintings, there is wildlife and other things of which to be aware. Three plants fascinated me.

Unique to the Baja California and the Mexican Sonora desert, is the spindly boojum tree. It has short branches at right angles to the trunk and small leaves. It blooms in summer and autumn and so not when I was there. Its English name, the boojum, comes from the imaginary creature invented by Lewis Carroll in the poem The Hunting of the Snark (1876). It creates weird shapes and can assume heights of 50 ft.

A cactus that caught my attention, literally, was the Jumping Cholla. It is densely covered in hollow spines which grab what ever they alight on. It you brush by a plant a piece will break off and literally fly to attach itself. When it reaches skin the tip curves just under the surface. Luckily for me, our guide was close by with the right tool to cut off the cactus from my pant leg. Then he had to pull out, one at a time, the three spines that had secured themselves to me. Three patches of blood stained my sock. Later I applied antiseptic cream and had no after effects.

In the desert I was also surrounded in different locations by hundreds of century trees in various stages of growth.

These low growing agave, with a single tall flowering stem, wait many years to flower. Once they have, they die. The cactus house in the conservatory at Allen Gardens in Toronto had a century plant for many years. With great excitement we realized it was growing. The single stem grew to the glass ceiling. A pane had to be removed to allow it to continue its journey. We all waited for the flowers which proved to be rather a disappointing yellow broccoli. Then it died. The glass was put back.

Fast forward to February 2015 (when Toronto was experiencing a very cold winter) I was in the Baja passing mile upon mile of these sentinels. Here was the century plant in its natural habitat and visible in every stage of its life journey. Initially the long leaves radiate out in a ball. A single stalk grows tall. The top branches into flowers. The stem dries out and dies. It will remain standing until the base collapses. A new one grows.

How simple this is. How reassuring in its cycle and how massive in its presence in the wild. The mind goes back to the conservatory in Toronto where a pane of glass had to be cut to expose it to the sky. As a result of this, my experience in the open desert was fuller, grander and more poignant.

In an old blog entry I told the story of my first exposure to the century plant.

The Lesson of the Agave Americana

During the winter I escape the cold and venture to the conservatory in Allen Gardens in down town Toronto. At Christmas time it is filled with poinsettias and shortly after the new year it is ablaze with flowering bulbs.

On June 25th 2013 I was there for a specific reason. The mighty 75-year-old agave americana had decided this would be the year it would bloom. This is a once in a lifetime event for this cactus. It will die after the blooming.

But this Mexican native started shooting in March 2013 and hit the roof. The decision was made to cut the glass ceiling and let it take its chances with the non-tropical March weather. Soon the yellow blooms would appear starting at the bottom and working up.

I was in England when a friend emailed to say the blossoming had started. I returned to the site on Sunday July 28th. It was a busy place with photographers enjoying a sunny day in the park.

july agave outside through the roof

I had an emotional reaction to what I saw. Somehow, one envisages this mighty cactus will go out in a blaze of glory. One wants the blossom to be awe-inspiring and then the ensuing decline, dignified, as dreaming for one's own life and death. However, in reality as with the agave americana, living and dying are part of the same experience.

The top of the agave is all potential. The branches span out with green, blunt fingers. The centre part is all show with the fingers elongating into spikes of yellow giving a frothy impression. The lowest branches are now in decline, dropping the browning petals onto the glass roof below. Finally, the strong blade shaped leaves at ground level hang limply, fading. The tall stem now leans against the edge of the glass ceiling, cut to let it through. Padding prevents damage. A mirror for humans whose prime and decline are also on the same stem. The lesson learned is that life and death are on a continuum. Old age can only be reached after living a life. The declining phase is still a part of the living abundantly phase. We must not separate them or devalue any part of the process.

Allen Gardens was created in 1858 and today it is only a fraction of its former magnitude. But it is still a gem during any season. I wonder what will be the next surprise and life lesson to be learned there.

I am drawn at this time to talk about the topic that no caregiver really wants to think about – their feelings of guilt and regret. They surface the more often that we hear people praising us for what we do; when people say they couldn’t do what we do. I remember during my years of care giving, I could not just say thank you and accept that the other person didn’t understand. I felt I had to make them understand, that they were wrong, that I was not the paragon of virtue they somehow saw.

My weekend is at a retreat centre just north west of Caledon to attend a Spring Tonic Writing and Yoga Retreat. It is spring cleaning time for the mind and body. Where will my creativity take me this year as I unfurl myself from winter’s hibernation? My winter has not been all huddle and trying to stay warm. February’s icy penetration was cut short by spending a week in San Diego followed by a journey of a 1000 miles from top to toe of Mexico’s Baja Peninsula. There I was exposed to the glory of the desert with shapes and colours, textures and smells that awoke some primal memory in me.

In April, when Ontario could not release itself from winter, I was welcomed to the hospitality of the south visiting Charleston South Carolina and Savanna Georgia. By the beginning of May I could absorb Ontario’s warmth, its lengthening days, its full moon and its promise.

This is the third retreat at Swallow’s Bridge that I have attended. One tradition is to take a slow meditative walk through the forest to an open field at 7am each morning. Last year much of the land was under water and a cold wintery wind blew.

This year we were blessed by mellow spring days. In our solitude we focused on the sensory stimulus around us. The haunting honking of Canada geese that did not appear, the presence of a wild strawberry flower beneath my feet as clumps of clover pushed higher, the diamonds sitting on the blades of grass soon to evaporate as the sun rose.

I heard the sore throated call of the red winged blackbird. I saw the sun make the bare red oak trees stand silver but mottled with lichen, beneath them a carpet of last year’s brown foliage. When the bed of leaves first were exposed by the receding snow they lay flat. Now healthy strong blades of grass pushed up to claim the sunlight. They moved the leaves aside and sometimes speared them.

A stand of Tamarind trees shake off winter and tufts of needles appear on the branches, some of last year’s cones still clutch the branches.

I ponder nature’s renewal and its ability to grow out of the past. I am coming to the end of my sixth decade. Am I the person I wanted to be? Am I living the life I dreamed I would live? Around me I see the shells of last year’s glory, remaining now only as fragile dried stems. The Queen Anne’s lace, the milkweed, are still recognizable, with a few clinging seeds as yet unshed. Can this be a reflection of me? The slow meditative walk makes me focus on what is. This truly grounding exercise reminds me of who I am now, what world I have created. What desire still rises for future endeavors.

I had the career which fulfilled my needs to make a contribution, to leave the world a better place. I have the world in which I travel, enriching my soul with every journey. I have the friends, some lifelong; some intimate and now departed; some friendships of short duration but fulfilling a purpose. All has unfolded, perhaps as I had hoped. At the end of 2014 I could have said I was fulfilled, complete with a life the way I wanted it. I had become the person I had wanted to be.

But into this contentment still filled with curiosity, I walk into a new chapter of my life. I found a person who wanted to share it wholly. I have found the person with whom I want to share me till the book ends.

Yes, a surprise chapter I had not anticipated. Yet I find myself quite willing to navigate this new and rewarding situation. It is springtime on Ontario with new beginnings all around including for me.

As we handle this unpredictable winter with its sudden snow, its deep freezes, its thaws and high winds, we instinctively think back to times of pleasing weather. Yet my arrival in Nova Scotia last July was heralded by Hurricane Arthur and we viewed the aftermath of its destructive force during our travels.

We stayed for a few days in Yarmouth in the west, exploring the Acadian Coast and absorbing the history. During the Napoleonic Wars, Britain and France were enemies. The Acadians of French ancestry had farmed and established communities in Nova Scotia since the early 1600s. Since their loyalty to Britain was suspect, they were rounded up and expelled from the colony in 1755. Their lands were given to Empire Loyalists coming up from the US following its Revolution. After the Napoleonic wars ended, small groups of Acadians were allowed to return starting in 1764. But their fertile land was gone. They settled around the coasts of Nova Scotia, where they still live.

Université Sainte-Anne in the community of Church Point, preserves the heritage by teaching the culture and language. There are small towns with amazingly large churches and the Acadian flag flies everywhere.

South east of Yarmouth is the Pubnico Peninsula where we spent an enchanting day. Firstly we visited Le Village Historique Acadien de la Nouvelle-Écosse (Historical Acadian Village of Nova Scotia) , a place that invites you to return to the early 1900s and wander through a village depicting Acadian life. Houses were brought to the site overlooking the Pubnico Harbour from real villages and the period costumed guides are local Acadians often telling stories of their own families.

We continued south down the peninsular and walked past the Pubnico Point wind farm made up of 17 majestic wind turbines at the edge of the ocean with a stony beach.

Finally we stopped off at Dennis Point where the wharf is host to the largest commercial fishing fleet in Atlantic Canada. My companion and I are familiar with many variety of sea gulls but at the wharf we encountered an unfamiliar breed with black head, dark grey wings and black tail, standing nonchalantly on the fencing. Others were running around sociably, loudly calling with a fast raucous high pitched cry.

On returning home I started researching on the internet. I found a copy of an article by Carla Allen from the July 11th 2014 issue of the Yarmouth County Vanguard entitled "Arthur blows new birds to Yarmouth."

The Laughing Gull had arrived in Nova Scotia after being blown across the Gulf of Maine during Hurricane Arthur. Although small numbers of Laughing Gulls have been documented as nesting in Nova Scotia from the mid 1800's, Maine is usually considered their northern limits now. In its breeding colours it is a fine looking mid sized gull with an average length of 16.5" (42cm) and a wingspan of 40" (102cm).

We crossed the road from the wharf and entered the famous Dennis Point Café and secured a table by the window. Very shortly thereafter, not another seat was free in the place. I cannot say I have ever had a more delectable creamed hot lobster sandwich. My friend had the seafood chowder. Also on the menu was lobster poutine, Digby scallops and clams, shrimps and locally caught haddock.

That was a day I will long remember. Do watch my short video. Though we saw much destruction from Hurricane Arthur on our travels through Nova Scotia, discovering the Laughing Gull was a benefit. It will remain to be seen if they try to fly home or if they, like the Acadians will come back and re-establish.

Like for the peasants in feudal and colonial times, today the inequity between the classes causes anger, hopelessness, loss of self esteem or a sense of belonging which ultimately leads to anarchy which leads to revolution. To function at our best we need to have the opportunity to achieve our greatest aspiration, be rewarded for the effort and loyalty we demonstrate and have a sense of autonomy in our lives.

I go to www.AVAAZ.ORG to restore my faith in a world where individuals want to behave towards others in the way that they would like to be treated themselves. Where we help our neighbour and the world in which we live - as a whole - not just in the service of self. Ah yes, you say, one of those bleeding heart liberals. But social media is providing the hitherto silent conscious population with a voice and that voice is getting louder.

Avaaz was founded in 2007 by an ex pat Canadian in New York. I signed up then and remember when we reached the one million member mark. As I write this in the middle of January 2015 Avaaz has 40,819,740 members worldwide in 194 countries. There is no defined number of countries in the world but there may be between 196 and 206 depending on the criteria one uses. That is a pretty major world representation considering you need internet access and understand one of the 18 languages that the website offers.

So who are these people who sign partitions and believe in people power? The list is long but here are the first 10 by the numbers.

1.Teaching at a school or university - 11.25%

2.Student - 8.90%

3.Technology / computers - 6.46%

4.Medicine (doctor, nurse, etc) - 6.36%

5.NGO / non-profit sector - 4.99%

6.Clerical / office administration - 4.70%

7.Scientist 4.50%

8.Business management / sales - 4.01%

9.Writing - 3.82%

10.Engineering - 3.72%

So what are the values of these 40+ million educated people? In a 2014 poll members were asked to "Tick all the statements that you agree with, so we can see what values most strongly knit the Avaaz community together"

These are the values of the Avaaz community

Civic Responsibility - We have a responsibility to contribute to our communities, and to seek not just private interests but the common good

Courage, Compassion, Integrity, and Honesty - We are all imperfect, but we should seek to practice these virtues as much as we can

Ecology - Human beings are part of a web of interdependence with our natural world, and we must care for it

Personal Responsibility - We must seek to be the change we wish to see in the world

“Deliberative” Democracy - Democratic politics should be an honest deliberation among citizens about what’s best for the community, not a dirty power game among selfish interests

Equality - Every human being is of equal, precious worth, and deserving equal rights, regardless of our ethnicity, creed, gender, nationality, or sexual orientation

Animal Rights - Animals are beings worthy of compassion and deserving of rights

Democratic accountability - Government should be transparent and accountable to the will of the people.

Globalism/Humanism - As Gandhi said “I am a human being first, and a citizen of my country second.”

Avaaz is a truly global movement and members are evenly distributed by age: the community has roughly equal shares of young, old, and middle-aged people. Just over half of Avaaz members are women. The uniting force is a commitment to a better world.

"Since launching in 2007, Avaaz has grown into a powerful and unprecedented global democratic force.

Avaaz has a simple democratic mission: close the gap between the world we have and the world most people everywhere want. Our community is unique in its ability to mobilize citizen pressure on governments everywhere to act on crises and opportunities anywhere, within as little as 24 hours."

Priority challenges

Fighting political corruption, including corporate capture of our governmentsEconomic policy that benefits the common good over the elite few

Preventing catastrophic climate change

Tackling slavery and human trafficking

Safeguarding our health and food, including from GMOs

Protecting endangered species and biodiversity

Protecting rainforests and indigenous rights

Defending women's rights

Most of this text comes from the website but what excites me when I read it is that I share these values and ideals. I have a sense of belonging in a world wide group of 40 million people who feel the same way.

Many will say that signing petitions is a waste of time. But government and business leaders are influenced by lobbyists and negative publicity. How else would we know that Bayer and Syngenta, two of the world’s largest chemical corporations are suing the European Union for banning the sale of its pesticide which happens to kill bees? If you understand natural systems then you know that without bees, we grow no food. Trade agreements permit companies to sue countries for potential loss of profit. Canada has been signing lots of trade deals with other countries lately and all contain the clause that allow foreign companies the right to sue. With the support of petitions many politicians have changed the way they vote despite the inertia of so many of the population.

Avaaz, with other organizations led the climate march with over 400,000 people through Manhattan and hundreds of thousands more rallied in over 2,000 communities around the world.

I marched in Toronto on September 21 2014 . It was an expression of our love for all that climate change threatens and an expression of hope that we can build a world powered by 100% clean energy. It preceded the UN's climate change summit. Avaaz presented a 2 million signature petition to UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon. Public pressure was palpable and historic commitments were made by major polluting countries. An issue where people power changed government policies despite the power of big business to maintain the status quo.

The Toronto People's Climate March began and returned to Nathan Phillips Square. It was upbeat and very much a family affair. One could see the families that had worked together making placards ahead of time. Surrounded by children, the group of friends I walked with had two in their 80's. It was about commitment to the earth we live in. It was a love march.

Hope is what keeps people going, engendered when one feels one has a small amount of control over one's life. I'm a gardener. I grew scarlet runner beans last year. I kept some of the beans so I can plant the next generation in my garden this spring. My beans. In the spring I check with my friends to see who have got potatoes in their cupboard which are growing shoots and roots. I cut up such a potato so there is a growing eye in each piece and plant. Yet there are corporations out there that want to control all seeds so that I would be breaking the law if I grew a second generation bean or potato. I would be forced to buy every year. Even if I lived in poverty and my only food came from what I could grow - I would be charged if I planted my own seeds.

But I have Avaaz on my side. It is now 12 hours since I started this draft. There are 40,833,821 members, 14,081 since I last looked. When I look at what Avaaz has achieved in 8 years I smile, I feel hope and I know I have nearly 41 million friends who are there for me as I am there for them. When one watches or reads the news each day, one needs that sort of support.

A path to walk on through this life which might not be a repetition of the past, but deliver us into something new - Avaaz's Principles for 2015

Show Kindness and Respect

We will show kindness and respect towards ourselves and others whenever possible. And it's always possible, because everyone we meet is fighting a battle we may know nothing about.

Strive for Wisdom

We will seek to be wise in our decisions, listening deeply to ourselves and others, and balancing our heads, hearts and intuitions in a harmony that feels right.

Practice Gratitude

We will regularly reflect on what we're grateful for, because it brings perspective, dissolves negativity, and grounds us in what's most important.

Another year is into its last month. It revs up, explodes and disappears. We begin a new one. I don't know when it is that we realize that there are fewer ahead than have gone. For each of us it is a different moment. Just as it is when we realize we are not as young as we used to be, or we are not as able as we once were, or we find it more difficult, or it takes longer to do things we found easy in the past. When ever it seeped into my reality - I've got it!!

What we do with it once we have it, will impact the rest of our life. How well we adjust to the changes has a lot to do with how we were taught and how our role models behaved. My friend Edith is preparing for her 102nd Christmas and still lives alone in her own home. She has a lot of wisdom to share about the subject.

So how do I face the changes? By constantly bringing the new into my life.

So to those who say to me What's New? This is what I tell them.

1. I'm getting my first smart phone and, who knows, I might learn to text if I see the need.

2. I've just downloaded a new fancy video editing program into my computer with a learning curve as big as a rainbow.

3. I decided on the four places I'm going to explore in 2015, so now I have to research them.

4. Since I can't crouch or kneel in my garden any more, I've planned my new raised vegetable garden for next spring.

5. AND here is the biggy. My new, improved, website. Learning curve as big as ...well you know. I'm discovering all sorts of new stuff. I've learned a new definition for the word slider - and I'm not talking baseball or small hamburgers - but those fascinating images that pop up on the top of my new welcome page. There is also a big difference if I create a post or a page, use a menu or a navigation label. So obviously I'm learning a new language.

Its all very challenging, but that is the point. How do I know of what I am capable, if I don't do it? In February I was on a camel in the Sahara Desert, and on foot climbed a huge sand dune to watch the sun set from almost the top. It was too crowded at the summit. I didn't think I could make it anywhere near. My young Berber camel man grabbed my arm and said "but you have to."

We can't have regrets. So I did it. Please enjoy the new website.

I have always loved travelling in Mexico. It was in February 1990 that I first walked the beaches that fringe Banderas Bay. The blue waters filled with recently born humpback whale carves and their mothers.

It was the first occasion I slugged back an ounce of tequila; it was the first time I heard a live Mariachi band. It was the first occasion – followed by many more – of being in the zocalo surrounded by pigeons; seeing Mexican fathers proudly showing off their infant daughters and the bright extravaganza of the balloon seller.

Since then I have been in many sea side Pacific and Caribbean towns and stood beside massive Olnec Heads in the state of Veracruz and watched shade coffee harvested in the cloud forest. I have been healed by a shaman and I have clapped as an old Tarahumara Indian danced in the glow of the camp fire at the edge of the at the edge of the Urique Canyon, the deepest canyon in the Sierra Tarahumara at 1,879 meters (6,200 feet) down.

I have explored Mayan Ruins and underground senote. During the spring Equinox I have watched the sun's shadow show the descent of the Serpent Kukulkan at Chichen Itza.

I have walked the streets of Merida with a young Mayan hammock seller who proudly showed me his identity card that allowed him to sell. He was proud to speak English. His family in the village who made the Hessian hammocks only spoke their native tongue; they did not even speak the official language, Spanish.

So it hurts me that the stories of violent deaths, corrupt police and drug crimes have tainted Mexico’s name and driven away the tourists. Swine flu decimated the legitimate business in tourist areas like Puerto Vallarta. When I went back the following year the empty stores told the tale of those who never survived the dearth of tourists.

I took a friend to Puerto Vallarta in February 2010. She brought with her the fears impressed on her by the media and friends saying “oh do be careful.” Within 24 hours she cast aside the apprehension. What was it about Puerto Vallarta that changed her? Two realities. She had been in resorts in Jamaica and The Dominican Republic before this trip. In both resorts she learned never to stray. You had your bit of beach and that’s where you stayed. That first weekend we were in P.V. we walked the Hotel Zone beaches south towards the down town. We walked in front of all the hotels. We passed local Mexicans having traditional weekend picnics on the beach. They fished in the ocean; they brought their BBQ with them. The men were with their families and grandma was there too.

Vendors sold grilled shrimps on sticks with quarters of lime. Further down the beach the hotel staff had set up massage tables. Para-sailors dropped out of the sky. Everyone intermingled, everyone was having fun. Vendors invited you to look at all manner of souvenirs, but all understood No Thank You. Certainly a lot of vendors so a great number of No Thank Yous, but everyone was relaxed. On coming back to the resort we wandered round the swimming pools. Mexican families splashed in the water together. The second reality – there is a Mexican Middle Class. They go on holiday. Who would have thought it from the stories in the media?

However another reality hits us. North American, European, in fact all holiday makers who consume alcohol, do so on holiday. Many find being away from home is an excuse to over indulge. Many behave in ways that they hope their bosses never know. Many tourists do silly things. Some tourists get into trouble. One common problem is testosterone. Young Mexican women are beautiful and fun loving. Catching one is a perceived right of passage for a holidaying stud. A black eye or bloodied nose is an occurrence not often reported. No travelling young man likes to admit he got beaten up by the girl's Mexican boyfriend. Some die.

I think there are very few countries in the world that one would want to risk getting involved with the police. There are very few cities in the world where one would walk late at night on shadowy streets. Yet tourists do it all the time. Go figure. I am not negating the pain and horror of crimes that have taken place and the lack of cooperation when the authorities are called. Crime follows the unsuspecting tourist everywhere – how many get out of Rome without meeting someone who has been pick pocketed? Sometimes one cannot escape crime, other times one ignorantly invites it.

Mexico will become a drug cartel run danger zone if legitimate jobs are not found for people. Tourism is one way we can stop that deterioration. Another beef I have about criticism of Mexico. If the drug trade is ruining Mexico – who are those consuming the drugs? Who is responsible for creating a demand that is being serviced by those trafficking drugs? We are. If there was no demand, there would be no business.

In February 2013 I took two other friends to Puerto Vallarta, who had never been to Mexico. They too did not know what to expect. We just had to walk the beach at Destiladeras and enjoy lunch over looking the beach watching spouting humpback whales in the bay, and they were caught in the Mexican spell.

February 2015 will see me in Mexico again, travelling from north to south on the Baja Peninsula. Oh yes, you will be hearing all about it.

Go back to Mexico and create the legitimate business of tourism. Go back and enjoy the country which has so much to give.

A trip to the McMichael gallery in Kleinberg always has a special place in my heart. It marked the start of my Canadian experience. I came to Canada in 1969 and I was taken to the McMichael gallery. The Group of Seven was a new phenomenon. I heard they were iconic Canadiana. I had come from the land of Constable and Turner. I could not relate. The colours, the shapes, the interpretation of nature and of houses were alien to me.

Over time, my sojourn in Canada took me north of Superior, to Algoma, to Algonquin, to Kilarney...Then I understood. I got it. I was at the McMichael in the fall of 2013. It is even more special when one goes in late September and the weather permits an outdoor picnic at one of many locations within the Gallery grounds. Embracing the natural world, however, may include curious wasps. The changing foliage, the pattern of clouds and the patchwork of colours all move the consciousness to appreciate what we had around us. A necessary attitude to embrace when entering the gallery which honours the essence of Canada, its nature and its aboriginal world. I had come this time to engage in two concurrent photographic exhibitions.

The work of the American Ansel Adams (1902-1984) is in black and white. He captured a virginal North American scene of rock faces and waterfalls and trees with sunlight, shadows and cloud. The grandeur of Yosemite National Park was nestled by raindrops on leaves. The lighting in the gallery was dim to protect the aging prints; a legacy of a man who wanted the world to appreciate, value, and explore the landscape provided, gifted to us.

A set of doors separated this intimate invitation from one of large, bright and unsettling photographs of Canadian Edward Burtynsky (1955- ) With his exhibit "The landscape that we change," he invites us to face what has been done in the name of progress to the innocent land that could have been Adams' once. The only crime this land committed was to be filled with minerals and oil, provided ground for railways or resting places for thousands of easily combustible obsolete rubber tires. Two exhibits defining the before and the after of commercial raping.

In 2006 the Canadian National Film Board release the documentary "Manufactured Landscapes" about the nature that we "disrupt in pursuit of progress." It is a harsh reality with a beauty in its own right. We see patterns made by uranium tailings in Elliott Lake, Ontario in 1995 with the statues of dead and dying trees in a stark land. 40 years previously Ansel Adams, if he had visited that spot, would have found a rocky, verdant vista.

I witnessed a conversation. A man is returning to the Ansel Adams exhibit and his friends ask why he is leaving the Edward Burtynsky exhibit so soon. "I'm going back into the other room. I think they are more artistic." Both are artistic photographers, capturing the world they saw with honesty, love and skill. Our comfort level is not the gauge.

Further into the Burtynsky exhibit is a huge arresting photograph of an old tire dump in California. The heat produced by the rubber ignited and the fire burned uncontrolled for two years, polluting the atmosphere. In front of the picture sat a mother with her young son on the floor. She explained the picture's meaning as she interpreted it. "Everything we use" she said, "We have to think about what happens to it when we no longer want it. What will happen to it? Where will it go? We are responsible. We should be careful about everything we use." The child was totally engaged. He turned to look at another similar subject. "Look mummy, there are no trees." He got it.

Meanwhile in Toronto, the Art Gallery of Ontario was hosting the Ai WeiWei exhibition "According to what?" The work of this multi-talented artist, sculpture, carpenter, potter, photographer, writer and musician is overwhelming in the sincerity of its message. Following an earlier visit in its run, I returned in October with my camera. His work had so moved me the first time I needed to capture it for myself.

I don't think anyone who has stood beneath his serpentine sculpture made from 883 identical knapsacks cannot be moved. This dissident Chinese artist, born in 1957, fights his government for its lack of transparency and accountability. In this exhibition, his main focus was on his government's behaviour following the 2008 earthquake in Sichuan Province where over 5,000 children died in poorly constructed schools. Corruption in the building industry clearly was responsible for the buildings collapse and the government's refusal to investigate or even identify the names of the dead children enraged Weiwei. "Snake Ceiling" reminds us of the loss of the children.

Far more massive is the installation that weighed over 38 tonnes and is made of actual straightened rebar removed from the ruined schools. Ai Weiwei set about collecting the names of the children and they were listed on one wall of the exhibit with the names being called out. He believes that your name is the first and last marker of your human rights. Everyone has a name whether rich or poor.

Weiwei was the former design consultant for the Beijing National Stadium - the birds nest - used at the 2008 Olympics. He backed out in protest against corruption and the displacement of the poor to make room for tourism.

His Divina Proportione is made without screws or nails using traditional Chinese carpentry techniques from the Ming Dynasty.

Other works in the exhibit remind him of the past and his youth. They demonstrate his creative genius.

"I'm surprised that somebody like me would even become famous, just for demanding very basic truths and seeking ways to survive with some dignity," Ai told The Canadian Press.

What was it about the works of Ansel Adams, Edward Burtynsky and Ai WeiWei that draw me to them? Adams captured the pristine world. He did not show the clear cutting of the forest, the polluted rivers and excavated land from mining. He showed a romantic version of reality without the encroachment of materialism. Burtynsky shows us the price we pay for our consumerism: our need to have and our belief that we have a right to take. Ai Weiwei shows us that the future is here. Those with self-serving interests, who have no conscience to protect ordinary people, control governments. Is it too late to expect transparency and accountability from Government? Canadians may well ask.

An old pair of hiking boots and a mold-tinged backpack went out in the garbage this week. It was not until I saw them lying in the bottom of my black wheeled garbage container that I felt their loss, I started reflecting on what they meant to me.

In 1977 I bought an around the world air ticket. Vancouver to Vancouver, traveling only west and not crossing the equator. The dates for the first three flights were booked, the rest of the ticket was blank. The ticket was valid for a year. I would travel until my money ran out with the knowledge that I would always make it home. I was 31 years old. An acquaintance was prepared to start the journey with me, but was not sure at what point she would be bailing out. I was to find out while in Japan that her decision depended on the actions of a certain man in Vancouver. I do not judge her motive for skipping town, as it provided me with the initial support I needed to embark on the trip. Within four months, the certain gentleman had capitulated and she flew off to meet him. At which point I heaved a sigh of relief and vowed to ensure in future that any traveling companion I had, was focusing on the here and now and not the there and now.

Traveling has always been part of my life but this episode was the first to be of longer duration and to Asia and countries with non European languages. I bought new boots to begin the journey and a light backpack for in between traveling. As was common in the 70’s, I stitched a Canadian flag on the front and a smaller badge showing the Union Jack and the flag of the Isle of Man, the place of my birth. After spending 6 weeks in Japan, the first country to discover, I stitched on that country’s flag and since Greece was the last new country on that sojourn, that blue and white pennant would later be there.

The boots and pack were with me when I walked the streets of Tokyo and Kyoto, when exploring palaces and temples in Nara and Nagoya. They sailed on the Star Ferry between Hong Kong Island and Kowloon; They were with me when watching the sunrise over Mt Everest from Nagakot in Nepal and they were on the River Ganges at dawn in Varanasi near the drifting smoke of the funeral pyres. They witnessed a bright red sunset on the Arabian Sea while on the old Bombay Steamer sailing overnight from Panjim (Panaji), Goa to Mumbi, or Bombay as it was then. They were with me to watch the craftspeople at work in Chang Mai in Northern Thailand and helped me distance myself from irate mullah in an increasingly radicalizing Iran. In that same country, I walked the ruins at Persepolis and in Egypt I explored the Temple at Luxor and saw the Sphinx at Giza.

I placed them on the starting line of a racing track in a field edges with poppies in Olympia Greece. After a month in Greece, I knew the saved money was running out and I felt I needed to go home. I spent a while in Britain visiting friends and family and then headed back to Canada.

I had discovered I could rely on myself in strange and sometimes dangerous places. On this journey I met many travelers wandering Asia, younger than me. Many hippies resided in places from where they probably would never afford to go home. Arriving by bus at a beach area in Goa, I was met by many thin and dysentery riddled young men and women begging. Not for money but for any medications a person might be carrying and no longer needed. I knew at their age, no way could I have embarked on such journeys. But here I was, 31, learning that I could look after myself and so relieved I had a ticket home. I have traveled much since then, but know I could not do it if I didn’t have a ticket home.

In 1982 a conference in Sydney and the opportunity to conduct a lecture tour in Australia and New Zealand became realities. I worked long hours so that I would be able to take 6 months off to travel. The boots came with me.

Ayers Rock, a massive Monolith in the Australian Outback is sacred to the Aboriginal people and can no longer be climbed by tourists. But in 1982 it was the tourist thing to do. I was there in the winter, the only season where it is cool enough to climb at high noon. On the horizon 25kms away are the Olgas.

After 4 months of traveling and speaking in both countries, I headed to Fiji and then to French Polynesia.

On windswept Easter Island, which belongs to Chile, I saw the Moai and stood in awe. Tourism was not a major enterprise in those days, the cruise ships hadn’t started. A friend of mine was there last year. She showed me photos of neatly cut grass and marked paths for walking and areas cordoned off no longer accessible. I had waded through knee high grass to touch the huge heads still on hillsides unfinished. I climbed to the edge of the volcano’s crater via any route I chose. Better that I saw it windswept, unkempt and unmanicured. Better I experienced it alone; the ice cold waters and the biting wind, the dark staring faces and the birdman carved rocks.

I wore the boots at the airport in Rappa Nui and saw that our plane with engine trouble was not going to land but head straight to Santiago Chile for repairs. With no incoming passengers, our rooms at the hotel were still vacant. There were six of us who spoke English; four from Switzerland on a diplomatic posting in Argentina, a woman from Sacramento California and me. With no fresh food, the hotel served us what they had plenty of locally – lobsters. I continued developing my taste for Pisco Sours. We caught the next plane 2 days later.

The boots and backpack ended their days in Toronto where I moved to in 1978. For many years the boots with thinning soles were worn while gardening. Then the heals disintegrated. The backpack just hung on a hook in the laundry room.

To part with these connections with the past is hard. But they were facilitators. They themselves did not create the joy of the experience. The memory is inside me, is scripted on paper and is immortalized in photographs. The boots went in the garbage this week having served me well for 37 years.

Recently I was at Toronto’s Airport planning to fly to Europe. Often on past trips, I have picked up Canadian maple syrup in an airport shop to take to Britain. But that was in the days before 9/11. Now we are reminded about liquids and gels. Since syrup fits the “gel” label I leave empty handed. But the memory took my mind back to a previous trip from Toronto to Manchester when duty free items occupied a whole night of worry.

It was during the 1990's and I was embarking on a visit to the Isle of Man to stay with my Mother. My flight from Canada would arrive in Manchester early morning and I could catch a flight to the Isle of Man by noon. These were the plans. I was in the departure lounge when the first delay was announced. Now catching my connecting flight was in jeopardy. The Isle of Man was always perfect respite for me during my caregiver years and I longed to be there, hiking coastal trails where distant hills were purple hued with flowering heather.

The next announcement brought me back to the reality of the moment. The incoming delayed flight would not be able to take off again with us on board because of the departure curfew then in place in Toronto. We would not be able to leave until next morning when the curfew was lifted. So the decision had been made to divert the incoming flight to Hamilton, where there was no curfew. So we would be bussed to Hamilton to meet the plane. But since we would be leaving a duty free zone, we would have to return to the Duty Free stores and get our money back. This did not pose a problem for me. I complied and sat waiting to be called to the bus. I once more thought of my visit to the Isle of Man with green fertile valleys and rolling hills.

However, there was much negative energy around me. Many Brits returning home from their Canadian holiday had shopped till they dropped at the Duty Free stores for gifts. Other Canadian passengers were taking gifts to Britain. Their indignation turned to anger when we arrived at Hamilton to find no shops open. It was midnight and the airport had been kept open purely for the arrival and departure of our plane.

There were long line-ups for the few pay phones, but I did get through to my Mother alerting her to the fact that I would not be on the plane she was planning to meet and indeed had no idea when I would get a connecting flight.

We were in a confined space. There were not enough seats for everyone. There were crying children, tired adults and now one enemy. “It is THEIR fault and THEY should do something about it. THEY should get the shops open so we can buy our Duty Free. It is our Right. I don’t care about government rules that say you cannot take duty free goods out of a duty free zone. It is THEIR fault.” On and on it went. Many people however gave up and accepted sadly that this was the reality and they would have no gifts to take to waiting family and friends.

But as always in any crowd there is a core group of agitators. They may believe they are acting for the good of the majority in their fight of the system, but often with selfish intent. Sometimes the energy to protest is better saved and used on a more important issue. But often reason is outweighed by the zeal of the offended. Reason is lost to retribution. Someone would pay for this. I selfishly resented the lack of calm. I’d missed my connecting flight. Must my airspace be contaminated with all these negative vibrations?

We boarded our plane; we eat our meal amid many apologies from the crew. I closed my eyes, trying to sleep before the craft flew into the sunrise. I tried to distract myself from the awareness that if there are no empty seats on the evening flight to the Isle of Man, I will have to spend the night in Manchester. Instead I thought of my strolls towards Castletown with its ancient castle dominating the skyline. This castle was the site of the last Viking kings to rule the island.

The plane headed towards Manchester and the militant revolutionaries sort supporters all night. A message came round saying that they were going to stage a sit down strike when we landed; refusing to disembark unless they could have Duty Free goods. Puleese; this can’t be happening? The news cameras in my head roll and I see armed tanks lining the runway at Manchester. I see storm troopers bashing down the door and filling the plane with tear gas. I see Manchester Airport refusing to let us land and our plane circling until we run out of fuel or worse, flying somewhere I didn't want to go. No! I want to go to the Isle of Man. Is that too much to ask? Just let me feel those sea breezes and watch the salt-water wash the ancient pebbles, millions of years old. I am quite prepared to fight for what I believe in, but don’t force me to be a victim in your newsreel.

England was now below us. The pilot made an announcement. He indicated that if passengers failed to obey the instructions of a member of the crew, it was deemed to be an act of hijacking. There was silence on the plane. It landed on British soil; everyone disembarked.

I raced to another terminal with two other women from the plane. All three of us were placed on standby for the evening flight to the Isle of Man. We spent the afternoon together in an airport bar before boarding the turboprop to Ronaldsway Airport.

My tension dissipates as I walk the beaches and watch the salt-water wash the ancient pebbles, millions of years old.

How often in our life we are positioned in a place of conflicting goals. All I wanted was to get the Isle of Man, please. Many others also focused on getting where they wanted to go. But some had new goals when faced with a change of plans. They were purely selfish in origin but fuelled by the energy created by like minded people. How many acts of violence, civil disobedience and destruction occur just because it felt right in the moment?

Luckily the pilot summed it up for what it was and extinguished the fire. But those of us who did nothing, did not get involved, and did not make it our issue – were we just as responsible for letting it happen? In this situation the pilot and his crew were firmly in control. But what if we were in a situation when there was no “pilot?” I hope I would stand up for truth and justice. I hope I would not walk away saying it wasn’t my problem.

I look at the million grains of sand at my feet, eroded from pebbles by the elements. They take on new form because of their experience. Am I forever changed?

Article submitted by Rebecca Sharp Colmer: Eldercare Advocate, Author, Publisher, Speaker. Find Rebecca’s books online.
The Gift of Caregiving – Click Here
More Books by Rebecca Colmer – Click Here

There are approximately 37 million people over the age of 65 and 5.3 million people over the age of 85. Each year millions of older people start requiring some sort of assistance to carry out their routine daily activities. Family members (family caregivers) provide most of the help.

It is not always easy to know when to intervene. It may seem like your loved one is in a gray area somewhere between competency and incompetence.

Your loved one can have a behavior that is not life threatening but still very serious. Making an assessment is the very step.

Here are some clues that your loved one may need some extra help:
1. Dishevelled clothes
2. Stained or dirty clothes The same outfit worn everyday
3. Unkempt hair
4. Poor hygiene
5. Bad breath
6. Body odour
7. Having trouble walking
8. Having trouble sleeping
9. Dangerous driving
10. Extreme clutter in the home
11. Can’t do light housekeeping
12. Items not returned to drawers or cupboards
13. Clothes strewn about or left on floor
14. Medication bottles left open
15. Medications taken out of original containers and mixed up
16. Not much food in house
17. Spoiled or rotten food
18. Unpaid bills
19. Penalties for overdue bills
20. Unopened mail
21. Put on or lost a lot of weight that is unexplained
22. Signs of confusion
23. Signs of forgetfulness
24. Signs of isolation
25. Signs of depression
26. Drastic mood swings
27. Extreme sadness or loneliness
28. Loss of interest in favorite hobby
29. Stopped doing things they used to enjoy like gardening, reading, going to church, seeing friends
30. Can’t cope with everyday stress
If you do not live near your aging parents, ask a neighbor or friend to keep an eye on your parents and notify you if they notice any changes in their behavior.

Even if you determine that your loved one needs some assistance, keep in mind that they may be resistant to your help. Be gentle and compassionate when asking them to accept help.

It may take several tries before they start to accept your help. There is a big difference in offering help and completely taking away all of their independence.

However, if your parent’s life is in danger and you can’t find a way to intervene, call Adult Protective Services, which is a part of the Department of Social Services. They will send a nurse or social worker to your parent’s home to determine the risks and find ways to protect your parent.

The caregiver role is complex and differs for everyone depending on the needs of the care-receiver. Many times, in the beginning, there may only be a few needs, such as providing transportation or helping with shopping or cooking. Over time, needs increase, requiring additional services, until the care-receiver is fully dependent on the caregiver.

It is September. I love this time of year in the garden, pruning, dead heading, collecting seeds and picking vegetables. Then I sit on my shaded patio where dappled light filtres through tree branches, a cup of tea by my side. I plug in the water pump and my waterfall drops into the 12 foot river which then descends into the underground reservoir where the pump sits, to move the water back up.

I drink my anise tea which I buy from a middle eastern grocery store which smells of rose water – and yes I often come away with a box of Turkish delight. On my lap, a book by Pema Chödrön. One of life’s lessons I read is the art of letting go - that is accepting life's impermanence. I think in our consumer identified society we make "to possess" the most important verb in our vocabulary - or to put another way “to have and to hold.” However, this seems to create a great deal of stress for us, especially when someone else has more than we do or we don’t hold that which we think we are entitled. Pema Chödrön teaches us that letting go is better than holding on, perhaps making grief, loss and all that comes with aging easier to handle.

So here I am with the a fore mentioned book and mug of tea and acknowledging that learning the art of letting go might be good for me, when I espy movement on the grass between my veggie patch and the apricot trees that front my patio. Actually when I first built the patio, I called it a bower. To the right of these fruit trees the garden opens up to display my waterfall, rock gardens, metal birds and a blue pot with an iguana on it from Mexico. Into this space walks – as if he owned the place – a large raccoon. 4pm is a normal time for urban raccoon to be out an about. He notices me and stops. We stare at each other for quite a while before he gets bored and nonchalantly walks on, probably following his daily route. We came to an understanding. I had to let go of the notion that this garden was mine. I could only share in its bounty. I did not possess it. There was only one area over which I had control - the pump that made my waterfall flow. Maybe the raccoon acknowledged that too. I bet he and his family would love to have it flowing when they called my garden home. They could wash their hands in it. It was for this very reason that I built an underground reservoir so that when I did not need it, the water would just disappear.

The next three photos show why I must recognize that this garden is not mine.

The half-eaten eggplant is the only one my garden produced this year though I had lovely flowers. I had been waiting for this zucchini to get just a little bigger before I picked the last of the season’s production and this pink heirloom raspberry Lucama tomato was to have been picked tomorrow.

My apricot trees do not bear fruit any more. But when they did, I would look first thing in the morning and say to myself, they will be ripe for picking tomorrow. I would go out the next day and say, not ready yet, tomorrow. So it would go on till I realized that small branches on the tree were bent and broken. The truth was the raccoons had agreed the time was ripe and harvested before I came out in the morning. A few years ago, I was working in the garden at dusk when I felt eyes looking at me. I looked over to my neighbour’s yard and saw a family of raccoons looking at me, not so patiently waiting for me to vacate the premises.

I share my garden with squirrels and birds and ever so many insects and butterflies. Just a few minutes ago, I witnessed a movement in the undergrowth as a rodent emerged from my neighbour's yard and with a joyful hop skip and a jump, he headed through my garden to the next. A youthful brown body full of life. Where I was born, we never called them by name. They went by the nickname of long-tails.

Luckily, none of my visitors seems interested in my potatoes or garlic. Can I call them mine? Do I possess them? Does it matter? Maybe Pema Chödrön is rubbing off on me. I am just one part of the whole; energy like any other. All that matters is the integrity of this moment, then it must drift away to make room for the next.

Nature teaches us about impermanence. We cannot hold the seasons back. We cannot stop the trees from their change cycles. Soon I will be raking leaves. It is inevitable. Yet it is so hard for us to accept that all things in life slip through our fingers; all the things we strive for and once obtained, try to keep...a waste of time.

Today my garden bore me potatoes, beans and tomatoes to pick. In gratitude, I will feast on them and other creatures will do the same.

We have an aging population. Many have prided themselves for being in control of their lives. They have struggled physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually to be independent. Age and infirmity robs them of that independence and they need to receive care. Often they resist, believing all they have fought for will be lost. Many deny their needs for fear of exposing their vulnerability. Many refuse to spend their money on care believing it needs to be saved for the future.

There is a societal belief that when that time comes, family members should look after their own. But in some cases they are the very last people who should be given such responsibility. But society judges the absent family when the elderly person is placed in an institution. Assumptions are made that such adult children are selfish. Let us see if such criticism is well founded.

We all learn from our own life experience. When I was growing up my maternal grand mother lived with us. When she became sick my mother cared for her and my grandmother died in her bed at home. When I was a child, I was sick and my mother looked after me until I could become independent. I therefore grew up learning that we care for each other, we help each other. When my life partner became sick I became a caregiver. It was the natural thing to do. To care for someone who was old, disabled or dependent was what you did. My role models reinforced that caring was rewarding.

But Annette’s memories of growing up were very different. Her grandmother was belittled and chastised for being slow, for dropping things, for not getting to the washroom on time. Annette’s mother banked her mother’s pension cheque each month and came home with a bottle of gin. Following a night of drinking Annette’s mother was no where to be seen and Annette would make her own breakfast and get herself off to school. She would come home and resentfully clean up after her mother. She would turn the radio on loudly to drown out her grandmother’s cries. She blamed her grandmother for taking up too much of her mother’s time. She was angry with her mother for withdrawing to alcohol and neglecting her. Annette and I came away from our childhoods having learned very different lessons. We had very different role models. As presumably, our mothers did.

Fast forward to my aging mother needing care; to my partner needing care. My attitude, my approach and my behaviour would be very different from Annette’s when faced with the same situation.

Annette had no respect for her mother. She resented the lost of her childhood to alcohol and her grand mother. Predictably she was impatient and rough. She found herself losing her temper when her mother was incontinent. She found herself purposely leaving her mother in wet diapers for longer than needed. Annette knew she should never be a caregiver and arranged for her mother to be placed in a nursing home. She could not stand her mother’s whining and pleading when she came to visit and so she stopped visiting. Ultimately her mother died and when she went to collect her mother’s possessions Annette was met by hostile staff who accused her of abandoning her mother. Indeed a resident told her that her mother had died of a broken heart.

Could all this pain have been avoided? What sort of a role model will Annette be for her children?

This is not to say that all those who experienced abusive childhoods will behave the same way when they grow up. But it is worth noting that family behaviour does repeat itself. It is essential that we are aware of our own attitudes towards disability, disease, and giving care. It is important that we recognize our true feelings towards our parents or for whom ever it is that we may be asked to give care. Sometimes it is safer to back away from the responsibility, delegating to others. It is essential we seek professional help be it through counseling or by attending a support group. We must never buy into the belief system that all people can be care givers. It is a learned skill.

Many of us fail to accept that we must acquire the skills, believing we are failures when faced by the first problem. Few of us anticipate ahead of time that we might be caring for another and fail to prepare ourselves with knowledge. We often believe we must go it alone and asking for help is a sign of weakness. In hindsight we may believe we could have done things differently, but we must remember that at the time, we did the best we could.

Face your attitudes and beliefs with honesty and then make appropriate choices when faced with the responsibility of being a caregiver.

Allan Gardens is one of those beautiful public spaces in down town Toronto. Trees, grass, benches and off leash dog park on the outside and a 16,000 sq ft conservatory where tropical plants live, water falls, turtles and gold fish swim and seasonal flowering plants are constantly, lovingly, changed.

My last visit was in June 2013 to see the end of the life of the agave Americana, the century plant. Today I was back to see the Christmas arrangement. One year the centrepiece was a model train; another year plants were laid out to make a Victoria living room. This year there was a flower arranged grand piano and mannequins in formal, living, evening dress.

As always I go to look at the countless varieties of poinsettias. By this time, they are starting to expose the floral part of their structure, not just their coloured leaves.

I am always drawn to the display of cyclamen, the colours of these plants are magic to me. This year so many more fruit were in evidence. I don't think I have noticed the "Buddha's hand" citrus fruit before. I took time to examine the decorative kale plants.

In the cactus house, so many of the Jade Plants were in flower again something I have never been aware of before

This winter has already brought us much snow and ice causing damage to many of our trees. Just for a short while it was a relief to be surrounded by nature thriving.

I'm looking out my study window on a cool wet September day. I see my garden in its mature mantle. The veggie patch showing the decline of tomato and beans foliage but the abundant vibrancy of Brussels sprouts. I see my beloved dahlias. Closer to the path are immaculate sturdy blooms in pink and red, yellow and orange of seeds I planted in the spring. They too are among my favourite flowers. However, their name completely eludes me. It will come back. But it saddens me to know that inside of me there is so much more, that may never get out. Merrily I reel off the names of marigold, euphorbia, brugmansia; I see the yellow potentilla bushes, hostas and my green wooden wheeled wagon filled with pots of herbs. I see the cedars, yews, spruce and Japanese maple; the healthy lilacs and forsythia waiting to flower next spring.

I name them all so easily I could pretend that I know the name of the flowering stems standing 2-3ft high. Only yesterday I was out there with my camera taking close up photos of crickets who serenade me on late summer afternoons and evenings; whom I hear through my opened bedroom window when I fall asleep. I love taking close up photos of insects on my plants. Yesterday I filmed a bee and the day before a butterfly on my sedum.

I thought by writing this, the name of the flower would come back to me, but it hasn't yet. No doubt if I think about something else, it will pop into my mind. We learn these techniques as we adapt to failing memory. Did I say that? Am I acknowledging that words, once so fluent, do not come flowing like a river any more? I was trained as a public speaker and so do not willingly fill gaps in speech with ums and arhs. So often, there is a silence as I fight to visualize and then project the missing word, always a specific name that can't be fudged.

My father had memory loss. I first saw it when he came to visit me in 1979. He must have been about 75 years old then. We had gone on a road trip, the ferry to Manatoulin Island and then to Sault Ste Marie where we took a boat tour of the locks and a train trip up the Agawa Canyon. We went to see Lake Superior, turning inland at Wawa and returned home via Killarney. I learned on that trip that he was no longer the man he once had been but his zest for travel remained; his joy at new encounters prevailed. It was an amazing trip for me for I discovered Lake Superior and Algoma and the land of the Group of Seven artists. I discovered Killarney which stole my heart. All places I have revisited over the years since.

I think of it now, my dad, memory loss, and so on, because I have just got back from a trip to see Lake Superior again. A place that Dad and I discovered together for the first time. The last time I saw him alive, his life had shrunk to what could be seen within the walls of an institution. He was in his 90s and could identify no one. I think back to a photo I took of my Dad at Killarney on that trip we did together, his last to Canada.

I wish we had talked about his diminishing faculties then. Now. But we never do have those important conversations do we?

Now I could have told him about my beautiful.... Zinnias.

When assuming the role of caregiver for a loved one with a chronic progressive disease we know we are in for a long journey. It would be helpful if we had all the answers and information we needed, right from the start – but it doesn’t work that way. So what, in hindsight, did I learn about staying whole? I learned that I needed to constantly nourish my body-mind-spirit, my total self.

The body only works properly when it receives healthy nutrients, purposeful exercise, rest and relaxation. This has to be part of the contract. Time outor good food, sports or walks, sleep, spa days, massage and yoga are not luxuries. They are a defense against breakdown or “on the job injuries.” They are no different that wearing a hardhat or steel toed shoes on a construction site. Those around us will not understand the comparison. That is why our assertiveness on this issue is imperative. But we have been indoctrinated with the belief that our needs are worth less than the person for whom we care – after all, we are healthy. The bottom line is that to succeed at this task we must take care of our body.

The mind must be clear on its goal and the value of its task. We must understand that the impossible cannot be expected of us. Positive attitudes towards disability and care giving must be adopted. We have choices. We must distance ourselves from beliefs – our own and those of others – that belittle our worth, see disability as a punishment and our efforts as a waste of time and life. We must surround ourselves with the energy of those who validate the journey. We must reaffirm at the end of each day we truly have done the best we could have done.

The Spirit lives and grows when we accept change as a normal part of life. We learn from the past, we do not dwell there. We honour the present and we do not waste one moment of it. We must not live in isolation; we must share the journey, this honourable, worthwhile journey with others. We prepare for the future without fear or resignation, but secure in the knowledge that we are not alone. The spirit is nourished when we respond with our instinct or gut reactions not the chatter of a critical mind. The spirit is awakened when we find joy even in the small things we do as care givers. The spirit is liberated when we cease to play the victim role and become the grandest version of whom we are supposed to be.

My care giving sojourn has ended. I am blessed with the knowledge that I am a better human being because of it and I can now share those gifts with the universe. Being a care giver is not a waste of time. It can be a time well spent for growing into our wholeness. But you are right – no one said it would be easy!

Florence, Italy, is a city of distractions. You know that there is a core essence you want to assimilate. You know that there is great wisdom, truth and enlightenment to be gleaned - yet constantly focus is lost. A curtain separates you from your quest. This veil of humanity, sweating in the Italian heat; cars, motor bikes and scooters traveling too fast on narrow streets; a deafening cacophony of wailing sirens and voices echoing round lofty ceilings. The faces of those looking upwards, not down at uneven steps and sidewalks surround you.

You must get beyond the call of guides carrying identifying furled umbrellas, plastic flowers and numbered boards. Get beyond the sellers of sunglasses and handbags, snatching up their wares to disappear into the crowd when a uniform appears. Get beyond the languages of the universe all saying the same thing. Cross the threshold.

Enter a world where the body and soul are bathed in a healing balm. When attention can be focused on the spiritual uplifting that comes when witnessing great works of art either in nature or of human creation. Everything we see is vibrating energy, available to be blended with our own. Every day our energy can be restored; our joy magnified, our wholeness re-established, when we cross over from repetitive distraction and take a time out - however short - to be renewed.

So here is the exercise - the challenge. You step into the crowded sanctuary of the Galleria dell’ Academia in Florence, cameras flashing, people pushing. You focus on a world of plaster moulds and finished or partially finished marble creations from an era that was inventing itself. An era when art moved into emotional expression seen carved into every face and body posture. You enter a long gallery at the far end of which you know there stands one of the most famous statues in the world. But you slowly process towards it, viewing unfinished works commissioned for the mausoleum of Pope Julius 11. The marble blocks are filled with life as slaves emerge. They fight their way towards freedom. But remain trapped within the prison because the chisel in Michaelangelo's hand never reaching the impinging stone.

Is that like our own life? All that effort, all that energy used to make something happen, to make changes, to achieve a goal, to succeed in fulfilling a dream? Is it worth the risk? What will the end result be? Will we too be frozen in the midst of an incomplete destiny? Will the fear of that happening make us be half hearted in the endeavor? Will we stave off disappointment by not investing too much desire in the task? Do we see Michelangelo's "Slaves" and see ourselves reflected? Or do his "Slaves” teach us something else? These slaves are captured in the act of pushing forward, of giving all they have. They are held in that moment when all focus was on the reality of the moment. A moment of true living. Not one of wondering about the end result, not engaging a moment’s fantasy about the outcome. They are transfixed in the moment of being, doing their best, honoring that moment of their life, feeling the process, forever. What greater epitaph could any of us wish?

So finally we reach the bend of this L shaped gallery. We are held back some feet from the pedestal by a Plexiglas wall. Above us rises the statue of David commissioned in 1501 to be one of the statues for the Cathedral. But when completed it was put on display in the Piazza della Signoria. There it stood fighting the ruining elements until 1873 when it was brought indoors for displayed in the Academia. Perhaps, since it was designed to be viewed from below, Michelangelo needed to make the head and hands larger and out of proportion to the body. Perhaps they represented the power and strength that Florence displayed to her foes.

What are we seeing when we look at David? Do we see a young man with a perfect body? Does it make us feel ashamed? Must we compare? Or does David have a gift for us? Other famous sculptures of David show him after the act of slaying Goliath with the giant’s head at his feet. The emotional energy emanating from those statues is vastly different from this 5.7m statue carved out of a block of imperfect marble. He is captured in the moments before the slaying. His sling and stone are hidden from view, but in position. His body is tensed in anticipation; his stare is of the greatest concentration. He knows he has only one chance to get this right. There is no room for error. He is pitting his skill against great odds. But in this young man's face there is no doubt, no hesitation. He knows he will do his superhuman best. His expression does not divulge his intention. This is the moment of his manifestation. In this moment he does not digress. It is a moment of true living, not wondering about the end result, not engaging a moment’s fantasy about the outcome. He is transfixed in the moment of being, doing his best, honoring that moment of his life, feeling the process, forever. What greater epitaph could any of us wish?

Somehow the statue no longer is of a beautiful naked man but “everyman,” or “every person,” facing life’s challenge, coordinating all our strengths and skills and preparing to do the best we can. Accepting the outcome whatever that may be, but knowing in this defining moment that we are living.

Nourished by this reassurance I prepare to leave the gallery. I become aware once more of humanity around me. Despite a plethora of signs forbidding it, cameras flash constantly. I could have filmed without a flash. No one would have noticed. But I could not. Instead I went to the Piazza della Signoria and filmed the 1873 reproduction. David, to me, is not about being perfect and superhuman, but represents the potential waiting in all of us.

When creating websites and writing blogs one often wonders “is there anyone out there?” On the first edition of my website in March 2010, I wrote a blog on this issue.

I’m suspended in space speedily, yet in slow motion, orbiting the earth. Six times in 24 hours I will complete the circumnavigation. Sometimes the passage is in darkness, sometimes a red and yellow disc highlights Gaia’s curved surface. But on other occasions all her beauty is displayed for me; all her tragedies; all her pain and all her joy. I see her snow capped peaks; her multicoloured deserts in pristine clarity. Her natural, not man made, hues are brush strokes on a massive canvas; her work sometimes applied with a pallet knife. Water is sometimes black and sometimes yellow depending on available light. Clouds sometimes hover sometimes rise as mountains and sometimes pattern the oceans with dapples light or dark shadows.

Lake Har Us Nuur in Western Mongolia is created with a light touch, navy blue at the centre and a cool pale green where waters lap the pink and beige coast. There is the Euphrates River meandering darkly through the land of Turkey which presents as angular blocks of yellow ochre and orange. Now I’m looking down on the snow covered peaks in China where receding glaciers leave trails of silt. From the book Gaia.

I have a love reaction of awe. I come down to earth in the Distillery Historic District of Toronto where an exhibition of photographs, taken from the International Space Station by Guy Laliberté, is on display. Proceeds from the sale of photographs and books at the Thompson Landry Gallery, go to finance his One Drop inituative.

The man who brought us the magic of Cirque du Soleil is now trying to irradicate poverty by providing Gaia’s people with safe drinking water. On October 29, 2007, Guy Laliberté announced the official launch of the One Drop Foundation to fight poverty in the world by giving everyone access to water.

My feet walk her concrete coated earth, but for a few moments I transcended time and space and saw the abundance of Gaia, my home. But I also saw how my actions and those of others who through ignorance or greed are destroying her greatest property, her life giving force – water.

There are two water cycles on our planet:

The first moves water from clouds to rain to oceans and back again. The second affects communities without access to water as this drags them deeper into poverty and poor health, which, in turn, makes it more difficult for them to access water.

While the first rests in the hands of nature, the second rests in ours. Water is an inherent right, yet almost a billion people do not have access to safe drinking water and 2.5 billion live in areas without sanitation. Worldwide solidarity is the best defense against the monopolization of this invaluable resource. Water is life, but we continue to pollute and over exploit it, thus threatening the world’s diverse ecosystems and, therefore, access to water today and in the future…

For more information click the water crisis .

Gardens are organic. I don't necessarily mean that to define chemicals or no chemicals, but I mean organic in its constant evolving nature. Every garden has a story that is developing because of the people who touch it. It is like the quantum physics concept that everything that has been touched by a vibrating wave of energy will be forever changed by it.

My garden is like that. I have walked its length and breadth since 1986 and the past present and future are tied into every rustling leaf, every bird that lands, every cat that walks through it and is evident in every raccoon dug-hole. It is as if the story teller never ceases spinning yarns.

I like that. Even in the winter I still can view my garden from my office window. I enlarged the window and placed my computer at an angle towards it. I just have to let my eyes turn to the left, hardly moving my head and the whole story is evident.

Being a bit of an eccentric gardener I like colourful objects to decorate the flower beds in summer and the lawn in winter. When the snow falls I look out of my window and measure it by how far up the bicycle wheels it comes.

In spring time the visitors arrive undisturbed as I look out on their space. My dreams and plans turn into reality as I implement the changes I have planned for the garden.

The garden's ever evolving nature is a reflection of course of my ever evolving self. The garden has many stories to tell about me; the first veggie patch; the year of the new patio and the year I started putting bicycle in my dahlia bed.

The time I decided that lawns were to be replaced by stones, rocks and pebbles.

The three years it tool to finally remove all the grass from the front garden. Then there was the year we built the inukshuk. Then the years of preparation and creating the biggest of all projects - building a pondless waterfall.

I shall stay in this house with its garden for as long as it is realistic for me to do so. The garden will always be a reflection of who I am any given year. What gratitude I have in the knowledge that through a garden I can express the essence of me without words. How grateful I am that gardens are forgiving and there is always next year if one makes a mistake. Ah there are no mistakes, only lessons to learn. And so the story is told.

We planted the apricot tree in our garden in May 1998, a symbol of life’s continuation for us. Sue, my partner, was soon to go into hospital for a tracheotomy. A procedure that was going to help with suctioning secretions from her compromised lungs. Sue had Multiple Sclerosis and was regularly getting aspiration pneumonia. Her body was dying. She was not ready to go. She still had too much living to do. Along with swallowing problems she could not speak so all our communication was via her head nodding in response to questions with yes or no answers.

Sue survived the surgery and that summer and fall we watched the apricot tree grow and eventually as winter came, the leaves drop off. Sue died at the end of March 1999. I went into the garden to look at our tree of life. I found the winter had harmed not one branch and buds abounded. Later in April there was a memorial service at our church for Sue. I placed forsythia boughs from the garden in a vase at the spot where she, in her wheelchair, had sat so many Sundays. The Apricot tree was in full bloom.

I will always remember that day when I walked to the tree. The late afternoon sun back lit the fragile blossoms which seemed to radiate light. Its glowing energy, its vibrating frequencies seemed to melt into me, to connect. This was my first sense of a “physical” connection to Sue after her death. It seemed the tree was talking to me. My tears at that moment I think were of joy. Our tree lived on; a channel was opened.

I’m not used to growing fruit trees but I did learn that one had to remove many of the fruit the first year to maintain strength in the tree. I think I counted 100. The next summer I wanted a big harvest, however the raccoons in the night seemed to beat me to the prize. I vowed the following year to protect the tree from climbing raccoons. As I had more time to spend on my garden I designed a patio in the area behind the apricot tree.

My mind is hazy as to when things started changing. But one year the bark started splitting and breaking, allowing insects to enter. There were some blossoms but no fruit formed. The branches still grew and I was pruning about 4 feet a year. But it was dying. Our tree of life was dying. This was a great stress. I associated the tree with Sue. Was she telling me I had to let go of the past? I am sure I was still holding on. I was supposed to let go, move on. I could not deny that this was the truth. Would there be other messages for me in metaphor and symbolism?

Branches started dying, but at the same time suckers were growing around the trunk. Ultimately I decided to nurture three suckers. They grew tall and strong. For a couple of years I let them grow up around the now leafless original tree. I would decorate its stark branches with glass balls and ornaments.

Finally in the spring of 2007 I snapped the old tree off at its base, the three suckers were branching out and now 15 feet tall. I had let go of the old memory and had embraced the new. The transformation of both the tree and me was complete. I had moved on.

May is the time that the tulip festival draws thousands to Ottawa, Canada's capital city. The city sits on the Ottawa River which separates Ontario to the west from Quebec to the east.

Into the Ottawa River flow mighty rivers from the Ontario side. The Ottawa Valley as it is called is filled with lakes, trees, farms and rock. Small towns bearing evidence of their history of logging, mills, the textile industry, cheese making etc. An area settled by pioneers who cleared the land and survived or died: Evidence of the people from the First Nations who preceded them.

 

 I've just spent a week there, walking, canoeing, driving and feeling. There is something so fulfilling about witnessing new growth, spring flowers, full rivers and young animals. This sense of abundance which fills some with gratitude and which others take for granted. In how many countries can one have the luxury of washing one's car with drinking water? In how many countries are large parcels of land set aside to be preserved in their natural form for the enjoyment of future generations?

 

But the reality is not all good. The selfish industrial world invaded this pristine habitat. Smog produced by air pollution along the Canada US border drifted north 300 kms to haze over the clear blue skies I had witnessed and made its presence felt. I share some photos I took during that week that contributed to my feelings of joy, in the hope that they will motivate us all to assume responsibility for preserving what we still have.

By now many of you will have seen Happy Feet, the digitally animated movie about Emperor Penguins in Antarctica. Many of you, like me, will have marveled at the beauty of the images, the realism of disintegrating icebergs, thundering avalanches and Elephant seals. This movie had the opportunity to capture the hearts and conscience of the younger generation. It could have taught them valuable lessons, preventing the repetitions of past mistakes. The movie blew it, leaving me wondering what vested interests were involved.

This movie is about a penguin that is different, growing up in a society where conformity is essential to belong. Those who are different bring shame to the family, are suspect and victimized; Reminiscent of the era seen in western society during my childhood. Those of us who were different in the 1930’s, 40’s and 50’s were pressured to appear “normal.” Those who could not were seen as freaks. President Roosevelt of the United States was never photographed in his wheelchair because it was thought that no American would feel safe being led by a “cripple.” So people who were different were made invisible. They were banished to institutions, hidden in the closet or asked to sit at the back of the bus.

Mumble, the different penguin, represents those victimized by his society, which relies on ancient dogma and value systems to survive. A society where any challenge to the status quo is met with resistance and is made the scapegoat for any crisis.

In the 1960's there was a rebellion to shake the status quo. People marched to Ban the Bomb, others marched against the war in Vietnam, women marched for liberation, blacks marched for civil rights, gays and lesbians marched for human rights, the disabled asked for equality. They came out of their institutions, their closets and moved to the front of the bus.

Those in power in Happy Feet remind us that oppression is still a force with which to be reckoned. Mumble must conform or lose his soul. But he knows he has no choice. He must honour his unique spirit. He is the revolution. He sets off to find the solution to his tribe’s dwindling fish supply. He discovers the problem is human greed, indifference and selfishness. Discoveries made possible because he was forced to look out beyond the wisdom of his ethnocentric tribe. Discoveries made possible because he accepted and asked for help from diverse strangers – The amigos, Adélie penguins, and Lovelace the Rock-hopper guru.

The movie fails us all with its happy ending. To this point the movie has been a metaphor for all those oppressed by rigid doctrine and prejudice; a beacon for those who risk the unknown and venture forth with an open mind. To then trivialize it with an unrealistic ending – humans stopped stealing the fish so the penguins could live happily ever after - trivializes the roll of those kids sitting in the movie theatre. For it is in their hands, they can influence adults today. The movie could have ended with a question mark. We do not know the answer, but maybe they will.

The movie is billed as a comedy yet it graphically showed how the food chain works. Leopard seals do eat penguins; Skuas rip open the stomachs of penguins to eat the krill digesting there. But there is a balance in nature. Only when humans are part of that food chain is that balance lost. This movie could have taught so much about all our responsibilities.

In January 2006 I was able to see penguins up close and personal. Not the mighty Emperors but small ones that fish near quickly melting icebergs in the Antarctic Peninsula.