Pop the champagne corks: This is really happening! Getting engaged to my husband Jason was a surreal experience, even though I had a feeling that bended-knee moment was coming. I was initiated into the incredibly wonderful (and wacky) world of weddings. I nostalgically look back on all of my wedding experiences now that my proofs are back, my beautiful wedding dress is dangling from a closet door, waiting to be preserved, and I’m transitioning into my role as a wife.

But the truth is that the source of my happiness was deeper than all of that. The Most Epic Party of Our Lives would just be the first of many adventures together: buying a house, traveling the world, and hopefully having a baby someday. Professing our commitment added another dimension to our relationship, no matter how cliché it sounds.

How to make the most of this stage:
Prolong the engagement bliss as long as you can before you have to buckle down and start making some big decisions. Talk with your fiancé about your wishes for the wedding, but don’t start asking everyone for advice on nitty-gritty details or scheduling that dress appointment before you’ve had a chance to discuss logistics — that’ll come in due time.

Determine whether they are a well-rounded, successful entertainer who can bring a level of expertise and versatility to your event. “You want to ensure that your DJ isn’t a one-dimensional part-timer, but a true performer whose had varied and extensive experience performing in front of different (and tough) audiences,” It’s fine if your prospective DJ mainly focuses on weddings— Luke Entertainment performs at well over 100 per year—as long as they squeeze in some time for other types of parties as well.

Beware if a potential DJ bad-mouths former clients (whether they’re corporations or individual brides) or their competitors. My fiancé Jason and I once met with a vendor who told us about an event that “wasn’t his best work” because the client was a huge bridezilla! This made us wonder: Who’s not to say he wouldn’t whisper about that crazy-demanding Bride afterwards?

Find a DJ who will create a soundtrack for your wedding that is based on your style, taste, and vision for that day. “One size does not fit all—if your desire is to have a mosh pit at your wedding, then you will need to deliver that and anything else you want, for that matter,” such as Luke Entertainemnt.

“To one bride, romance is a grand ballroom with candles everywhere. To another bride, it’s a meadow filled with wildflowers. They’re both right,” says Tara Guérard, who works with couples in her event design firm Tara Guérard Soirée, based in Charleston and New York City. “It all comes down to, what’s your story?” says Robert Palomo, of New York-based Bardin-Palomo Event Planning Company. “When you focus on the little things that show your guests what’s important to you, your wedding is guaranteed to wow.” We asked Guérard, Palomo, and wedding pros from across the country to share their favorite ways to tailor three of the most common wedding locations to suit a couple’s personal style. Read on, and get ready to write your own definition of what a wedding should look like.

Any wedding style is well suited to the backdrop provided by the natural scenery of the seaside, a rustic farm or a dreamy garden. Two challenges posed by nature: bringing a sense of intimacy into the vast space, and ensuring guests’ comfort. Keep these tips in mind.

Now is not the time to make any bridal-party decisions you may regret. If you are choosing between someone you knew in college and a new sibling-in-law, remember that a part of your new life as a spouse-to-be is to put family first—including his. Your friends may not be there forever, but your sister-in-law will be. So if you are pressured to choose a family member (even if you would rather not), bend. You will thank me later when she’s not giving you the look over the Thanksgiving dinner table, still upset that you did not give her the honor of wearing the lavender dress or ask her to fluff your train. That your first priority is your new family is something everyone will totally understand.

Once you’ve decided on your bridal party, ask each potential ’maid individually. Ask with kindness and respect. This will set the tone for the wedding planning to come, and serve as a preview to how the experience will play out for all of you. Clearly lay out the groundwork as you see it. A bridesmaid can’t just show up one day and be in the wedding! Have all your information in place, so there will be no uncomfortable moments as the months unfold. Are you, my bride, paying for the bridemaids’ attire? If not, what will your bridesmaids be expected to lay out for the fabulous dresses you have your eye on? What about hair and makeup services on the big day? If you’re thinking about a bridal shower and/or bachelorette party, who in the party will be taking the lead in handling all the details and logistics—and what are the financial expectations?