The Power of Authenticity in Surviving 2020 10 Dec 2020, 4:45 pm

The Many Shapes of Self Care 1 Jul 2020, 7:18 pm

I believe there are misconceptions that “self-care” means pampering yourself or participating in specific activities, for example: meditation or a day off.  Maybe it’s because I’ve never been much of spa/mani-pedi girl, but I take a broader perspective.  For me anything that helps or supports you physically, mentally, spiritually or emotionally is self-care.  

The idea of getting a massage actually makes me tense and anxious, but if you find it helps to restore your emotional balance, then heck yea its self-care.  I have a friend who thinks essential oils are just a fad with no real value, I actually use them frequently and find them really effective.  This tells me that what works is personal.

Then there is the idea that it has to be a certain type of activity, but I don’t buy that either.  It could be choosing not to drink soda, reading up on social issues or yodeling.  It doesn’t need to be deep breathing or hiring a nutritionist, it does need to be what helps you – regardless of the form it takes and if it’s useful to someone else’s wellness.  Though I’d appreciate it if you weren’t yodeling too close to me.

Here’s a personal example: most mornings I set aside time to play Candy Crush or Seekers Notes.  (I know, I’m old school, right?!)  Admittedly on the surface this looks like goofing off.

It’s not.

I started this practice while struggling with my sleep quality – when mornings were not going well.  I needed time to let my brain become fully awake.  I could get up, make coffee, feed the dogs and start the laundry but if you asked me to handle a complicated issue or a meaningful decision, I could not make that happen. 

My morning routine morphed to include all of those aforementioned “starting the day” activities and then I added in time on the couch, with my coffee (decaf) and a game.  Initially I felt guilt about this.  I was constantly saying there wasn’t enough time in the day but…here I was literally playing games.  After a while I had some realizations:

• It has a legitimate purpose.  Mentally, I needed that time to become productive and efficient (two key things).  Making time for that was just as important as going to the gym or attending a webinar. 
• It’s useful, until it’s not.  I don’t set a time limit; I check in with myself and play until I no longer need to.  Surprisingly, there is always a moment when my brain kicks in and says “OK we’re done here.  Let’s go.” I feel ready.  If I wrap up and get going at that moment, I have practiced effective self-care.  If I continue playing, then I am dipping into the realm of “goofing off”. 
• It’s restorative. Ok I’m not saying its meditation, but I am saying that it has a similar recuperative impact.  Even more interesting according to my wearable, it often shows the same physical response as a ten-minute meditation.  On a few occasions it has marked the time as “light sleep” even though I was clearly awake and playing.
• It primes specific capabilities.  No seriously, it does. Candy Crush invokes strategy (as I plan out how to meet their goal) and Seeker’s gets my cognitive processing going (determining what is meaningful and what is superfluous).  If I’ve been killing it finding hidden objects, I choose to begin my workday with the tasks that are more focused on data or research.

These insights eliminated the shame of spending time on silly games each morning.  If you’re wondering about something you’re doing and if it truly fits in your self-care repertoire, ask yourself a few simple questions: How is this contributing to my wellness? What aspect does it support (mental, physical, etc.)?  Am I doing anything else to support that? 

I’ve come to understand how we care for ourselves is just as unique as we all are.  There is no one proven activity. As you are thinking about ways to support your wellness, particularly now in such stressful times, don’t be misled into believing there is a right or wrong way to do it.  Use what works, regardless of what other people do and be unabashed about it.  Your self-care is all about you in whatever shape that takes.

#SelfCare #PersonalGrowth #MeetMaple

Bubbling Insights 17 Jun 2020, 5:15 pm

Originally posted on March 30, 2018

By Scott Waletzko

Mental Spring Cleaning Week 4 – Journal

From the beginning, Maple’s purpose has been to enable people to get in touch with what’s within them. It’s for life-long learners, for people striving to understand their Self; for thinkers, writers, and for students. We built it to help people organize their important ideas, so they can start to make sense of it all.

To see the forest as well as the trees, as it were.

As Maple’s lead developer I tend to focus mostly on what’s still left to build, but my March Maple Challenge let me take a step back and truly appreciate what we’ve already got. During this fourth and final week of the exercise it became very clear to me that Maple does everything we set out to create, and more.

This week’s new (to me) feature was a daily Journal. My initial expectation was that it would be an empty trial. I guess like many people I thought I was too cool and put together to journal. However, right from the first entry I could tell it was an important building block towards self-learning. It wasn’t just helpful, but again, the action of writing and getting in touch with my thoughts was cathartic.

I didn’t set any goals for myself, didn’t plan to write a certain number of times a day or give myself a minimum number of words to write; I just let it go. Like with the Stress Tracker, I made the effort not to judge my thoughts or writing, I just wrote. To my surprise, each entry pretty much wrote itself. Each time my entry ended up more like a virtual therapy session than a log of my daily activity. As the week went on, I noticed that by combining different elements of what Maple does, each became more effective at helping me draw parallels between the thoughts, dreams, and ideas I’ve been experiencing.

Because I had already been tracking my sleep and dreams I was able to parlay the topics of my dreams into my daily journal, drawing connections between what my subconscious was trying to tell me and my daily happenings. Journaling opened up topics for Reflection that I may not have otherwise been aware of, and let me circle around to the things that are important to me right now. And while tracking my stress I vented about the superficial things that bothered me, which in turn freed me up to Journal about deeper issues in my life (rather than just documenting this and that other thing that got under my skin that day).

All of this led me to some insights and threads of thought that I’ll continue to follow in the coming weeks and months. I have no doubt that those will unravel into more threads, and those into more as I reverse-weave the tapestry of my Self. Because all of that is mine to pursue I won’t get into details, but I would like to share two insights from this month’s experience that may help you on your own personal journey.

The first is that the path of introspection and insight is a never-ending journey. You don’t ever get THERE, but you keep moving in that direction – no matter how many times THERE seems to be somewhere other than where you thought it was. The closer you get, the better you feel and more put together things seem to be. Until they don’t, and then you keep going some more.

The second is that it all takes work. Not so much in terms of time, it’s more of an emotional effort. There’s no app you can download or pill you can take that will automatically bring you to a better understanding of yourself, you must roll up your sleeves and do it yourself.

This work can be challenging, and sometimes it’s not what we think we want to be doing with our time, but my experience taught me that it’s instantly rewarding. Not in the same way that funny cat videos are – those give you a rush of endorphins that fade away and leave you wanting more. The work we do to find our Selves is rewarding in a more subtle, cathartic, and long-lasting way.

I challenge each of you to try your own month-long self-exploration experiment. You may find (like I did) that it’s a door to a new window into your Self.

Thanks to everyone who followed me on my journey this month, and as always, Happy Mapling!!!

A note from Chris:  I’ve mentioned before that I have journaled since middle school.  When we launched Maple, I experienced the process of journaling differently and began a daily practice of journaling gratitude.  Those two things alone have shifted my mindset from ‘it’s a good thing to do when I can’ to ‘it’s a part of every day’.

Reading Scott’s encounter with journaling reminded me why I originally gravitated to it – it’s a way to get clarity, develop self-understanding and connect ideas and insights to actions.  Essentially, I use it to explore.  Sometimes I feel a particular emotion but I can’t get at what is triggering it, I recognize a belief (or fear) but I’m unclear on where it started, or I have an inkling of a bigger thought and I can’t quite frame it fully.  These are instances when I find myself needing to be entirely real and honest with myself – which happens in the safely and privacy of my journal. 

I agree with Scott, initially it feels like real work.  I know I have made it a habit to push the bigger concepts and truths to the side, in some cases even hiding them from myself.  The work comes in breaking that habit and allowing what is naturally bubbling to find its way to the surface.  With practice, it gets easier to enable these Ah Ha moments by simply letting my thoughts present themselves unfiltered.  This is a moment to allow ourselves that authenticity so we can choose our path forward.

I’m often asked how to get started with a journaling habit.  Do I have any tips?  My recommendation is to follow Scott’s example on three fronts:

• Journal daily – no need to get caught up in word counts, how long or a certain time unless those motivate you.  Simply make it a point to write each and every day.
• Release judgement – this is a tool for you.  No one is evaluating your writing style, grammar, or content, so don’t you do it either.  Allow it to be and go where it needs to.
• Any topic works – every entry isn’t a breakthrough.  Let the insights appear on their own.  If you need a starting point, use a prompt (like the Reflection Packages) or things you’ve been thinking about: updating your phone, what’s for dinner, or your dreams.

One last offer, if this sounds good but you are thinking you need support, try the Maple 30 Day Challenge.  It will drop useful info, tips and prompts right into your inbox each morning.  Sign up with a friend and do the challenge together. As always if you have questions or need guidance, add a comment, email or contact us – we’re happy to help!

#Journal #SelfCare #Autheticity #PersonalGrowth

Seeing Yourself In Reflection 10 Jun 2020, 6:13 pm

Originally posted on March 23, 2018

By Scott Waletzko

Mental Spring Cleaning Week 3 – Reflections

For the third and penultimate week of my March Maple Challenge I started writing daily Reflections from Crys Wood’s “Consider It (Vol 1)” Reflection package. As in previous weeks, I was surprised at how I had underestimated both the benefits and difficulties of the exercise.

On Day One when the first prompt came up, I immediately said “nope” and clicked on to the next one. It’s wasn’t a bad prompt; the problem was that the question was so good and deep that thinking about answering it triggered a bunch of emotions I wasn’t prepared to deal with. It was like being thrown onto a therapist’s couch suddenly and without warning. Rattled, I quickly typed out a response to the next Reflection prompt that came up (which was also deep, but not as triggering), saved it, and went on with my day.

So, the first thing I learned was that writing Reflections isn’t something that can be done idly. We are used to using social media to frivolously browse what other people post as a distraction from our lives but working in Maple is not like that at all. It’s actually work; and as such it requires emotional preparation, time, and effort.

But, as I’ve been learning all month, the work pays off in insight and personal growth, which is something social media simply cannot provide.

The next day’s prompt was another good one. Halfway through typing my response, however, I realized that I was just going through my rote canned response to the subject of the question. It was the same thing I’d say if the topic came up during a regular conversation at Happy Hour or something.

And that’s when I realized the real potential to the hard work of journaling and reflections: it’s a great opportunity to call bullshit on yourself.

It’s not that my usual response in this case was right or wrong, it’s just that I had it stored away somewhere in my brain and called it up without consciously considering it again.

I figured that since I was writing a Reflection that only I can see, I owed it to myself to stop and actually reflect for a minute. When I did that, I realized that the answer I usually identified with as “my position on that topic” was much more nuanced than I had thought. I’d been saying and thinking the same thing about that idea for many, many years, even though so much of my world and life has changed dramatically in that same time.

It was an eye-opening revelation, and exactly the kind of insight that we had hoped Maple could help facilitate for people.

For my upcoming last week, I’m going to write a daily journal. I was planning on writing in my daily writing journal again, in which I write 750+ words on the first topic that comes to mind. I started one of these in Maple last year but stopped when things just got too busy to keep up with it. It was something I really enjoyed doing, and I was kind of looking forward to getting back to it.

However, after the insights I got from reflecting on Crys’ Consider it Reflection prompts, I decided instead to start keeping a daily journal, which is something I’ve never done before. I am looking forward to seeing what I learn from doing it, and as usual I’ll be back to share my experience with you all.

Until then, Happy Mapling!

A note from Chris: I often recommend that folks begin with a Reflection Package when they tell me they want to journal but have no idea what to write.  Yes, our Reflections can serve as a starting point or a journaling prompt, but they are also meant to get you thinking deeply.

Certainly one way that we reflect is by speaking back what we heard, similar to Scott’s experience when he found himself responding with his “stock answers” to a question.  But another type of reflection is when we sit in genuine contemplation, as he did later in his example.  It’s this intention to consciously consider a response that is powerful.  It leads to insights that move us along in our personal growth journey or help us commit to our self-care. 

For me, the act of reflecting is itself self-care.  My typical MO is: I get a wisp of an insight, recognize it’s gravity and then scurry off without truly bringing it into focus.  Translated: that is a lost opportunity. 

Instead I can dedicate time, even a few minutes, to ponder and really challenge myself to be authentic, face fears and stop making excuses.  It’s the “No BS Zone”.  This is an occasion to get crisp on what the insight is, which becomes a chance, not only for precise insight, but to hear and value myself and choose what to do with what I discover.  Isn’t that the basis of self-care?

Candidly, I believe that the hard part is not the thinking and reflecting.  The real work comes as we process those thoughts and challenge ourselves to put the insights to use in pursuit of our goals – either personal or professional.

Activating our insights is how we rise above what we struggle with and make progress.  That’s powerful!  Yet it doesn’t need to come from a fancy program or working with a high-profile guru (though I do love those experiences). It can be sparked from where you are sitting right now. Just by answering a question or a prompt and giving it your full attention.  

#StartSimple #Mindful #Reflection #PersonalGrowth #SelfCare

FYI – Maple comes with a set of Reflection prompts for free and you can also select from a variety of affordable packages, like the one Scott used or our new Self Care Reflection Package, which are available in the Maple Store.   Need help deciding?  Just want to talk it through? Happy to help!  Drop a comment, contact us or schedule a free session.

Making Friends with Sleep 3 Jun 2020, 9:41 pm

Originally posted on March 16, 2018

By Scott Waletzko

In the second week of my March Maple Challenge, I added the Sleep Tracker to my daily routine. Every morning for the past 7 days I woke up, grabbed my tablet, and created a tracker. I’d enter the number of hours I slept, rate how I felt before going to bed, rate how I felt waking up, and rate my sleep quality. My favorite part of this exercise was that I’d then create a Sleep / Dream journal entry and quickly tap in everything I remembered about my dreams. For the first few mornings it was difficult to grasp the details of the dreams in my grogginess, but towards the end of the week I was able to remember and document more and more of my visions of slumber. It got to the point where typing on a tablet screen just wasn’t efficient enough – I had too much to enter in at once.

Here’s what I learned from doing this for the week:

• Rather than rely on my wearable to tell me exactly how many hours of sleep I had, I found that reflecting on what time I fell asleep and how often I thought I woke up had a bit of a Zen-like effect, much like journaling my stress did. It was a good way to stop and reflect on the sleep I just had, and transition to being awake.
  
  
  • As a related sidebar, I feel like we are starting to rely way too much on technology to tell us what’s going on with ourselves, rather than using technology to record our understanding of the world around us. This is a theme I’ll revisit at the end of the month, and it’s a core part of what we built Maple to be (even if we didn’t intend that, exactly).
    
    
• Journaling your dreams when you first wake up is a great way to engage your conscious mind with your subconscious. I found that this got easier as the week went on, and I was able to remember more and more details from my dreams, including actual dialog (which felt important since we choose our specific words for a reason). Sometimes I have no idea what my mind is trying to tell itself (because after all isn’t that what dreams are?) but I was never bored while I slept, that’s for sure.
  
  
• I have some ludicrously complicated and detailed dreams. They go on for-EVER and span multiple locations, with casts of dozens if not hundreds of people (some from real life, some just supporting characters I made up, I guess). As I got better at remembering the details it got to be difficult to document everything each night; there was just too much to remember. It got to the point where I’d try to focus on documenting just on the important or unique details (as opposed to what color each character was wearing or exactly how the rooms were laid out).
  
  
• I know I dream all night long, but I can only remember the dreams I am having right before I wake up. I resisted the urge to journal my dreams if I woke up in the middle of the night (just because screen time is so bad for you in the dark), but I wish I had been able to. I feel like if I continue my dream journaling, eventually I might be able to remember more of what’s happening in my head deeper in the night.
  
  
• I don’t know if I’ve ever done this before, but last night I dreamt in the third person. It was like watching a TV show, one that I wasn’t even in. It was like I was the camera. And just like a TV show it was action packed, to the point where I woke up from the excitement. Anyone else dream in the third person?

I’ll keep tracking my stress and sleep and starting this week I’ll be adding daily Reflections. I’m planning on using the prompts from Crys Wood’s “Consider It (Vol 1)” Reflection package, which is exclusive to Maple (available for purchase in the Maple Store). She did a great job putting together these prompts just for our users, and since she’s a master at sparking insight with just a few words I’m looking forward to adding this to my routine.

I’ll let you know how it goes next week. Until then, Happy Mapling!

My sleep tracker journey is a bit different from Scott’s.  You see, sleep and I have not always been friends. 

For years, my travel schedule kept me from sleeping well.  Then it was lifestyle, stress, workload… all impacting my sleep. I would lay awake all night and then be an absolute beast all day.  I discovered my wearable had a sleep monitor and I started checking on my hours of sleep.  Based on what was reported, I should’ve been feeling fantastic – I was not.

It was time to improve my sleep hygiene and I began tracking in Maple.  Why do this while using a wearable?  Because that device is great at giving me physiological information – my heart or breathing rate, number of sleep disruptions, etc.  Nice quantifiable information.

Maple helped me track qualitatively – how did I feel before bed?  How rested was I when I woke up?  By looking at these measures I began to realize that the wearable data alone was not telling the entire story.  As Scott mentioned, relying solely on the information that technology offers is not enough.  We are a part of the equation too. When I started to put both types of information together, insights emerged. 

For example, I need a solid 8 hours of sleep.  7 hours and 50 minutes is not the same and it’s not enough.  I literally feel weighed down, unfocused and apathetic on those mornings – my body and mind telling me – “Not yet Chris! We have not finished the critical restoration work that sleep is intended to provide.” 

Tracking my sleep has allowed me to make real changes, for the better.  This is one area of self-care that I am unabashed about.  If I wake up feeling unrested more than two consecutive days then my evening plans change – early to bed. My friends occasionally tease me that grown people are not tucked into bed at 8:45 p.m.  I laugh with them and point out that if that is what they need to take better care of themselves then they should be. No sleep shaming allowed.

I also learned that to avoid that lying-awake-all-night scenario I needed to re-trigger my nightly wind down routine before my mind began racing.  Now, I interrupt those thoughts and remind myself this time is about resting, that is the only goal. I can typically get back to sleep now, even if I wake repeatedly throughout the night. 

Bottom line – I track daily.  It was an easy, fun way to learn more about how to best care for myself. I don’t sleep perfectly every night, but I am much more attuned to what is happening for me – physically, mentally, emotionally, cognitively – because I check with myself about sleep each morning. 

#SleepBetter # SleepHygiene #SelfCare #MeetMaple

Insights on Stress 27 May 2020, 4:41 pm

“Stress is caused by being ‘here’ but wanting to be ‘there’.”

The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment (Eckhart Tolle)

Originally posted on March 9, 2018 as Mental Spring Cleaning Week 1 – Stress Tracking

By Scott Waletzko

Kicking off my March Maple Challenge, I spent the past week using the Stress Tracking feature of Maple. My goal was to use the feature regularly and then reflect on the experience overall. Right away I was surprised to find that I was getting more out of it than I thought I would, and in different ways than expected.

Rather than pick a set time each day to record my stress, I figured I’d try to pay attention to my stress levels throughout the day and when I noticed them rising I’d pop open Maple to rate and then describe my stress (in just a sentence or two). I didn’t expect to do this very often. In fact, I remember thinking that my biggest problem would be that I wouldn’t have any stress events to document because I’m so good at dealing with my stress.

Ha! That, my friends, is the dictionary definition of hubris.

On the first day of the challenge everything was business as usual until mid-afternoon when I remembered that I forgot to check my stress levels. I stopped what I was doing, took a breath to be introspective, and immediately recognized the markers of stress. I could feel it right away when I took the time to check in with myself; in my shoulders, in my breath, in the way I was sitting at my desk.

So, the first thing I noticed about tracking my stress was that I’m so used to feeling anxious that I don’t even notice it anymore. This is not a good thing.

I popped open Maple and rated my stress as Significant, the second highest level available. I figured I’d reserve Extreme Stress for that moment when I’m about to be run over by a metaphoric truck. Little did I know that was coming sooner than I thought. I then began to describe what I felt was triggering my stress.

The second (and perhaps most important) thing I noticed as I did this was that it is tremendously cathartic just to document what’s going on. What I thought would be a brief description of my stress triggers quickly devolved into some sort of bleak metaphysical dissertation on life, work, the futility of progress, and whether it was all worth the struggle. I let myself keep going until I was done, without judging or editing, and when I finally clicked “Save” I felt a sense of relief.

It was as if the act of looking at my stress calmed it, taking the edge off. I literally felt better just from typing it into Maple. The irony here is that I, like most people, usually try to avoid thinking about what stresses me out, perhaps out of fear that if I give it attention it will grow and take over.

Turns out it’s quite the opposite.

The third thing I learned during this experiment was that tracking my stress quickly became addictive. I created 5 stress trackers the first day alone. By the third, my stress was up to Extreme and I was just letting it all out in the description field. I found that the more I let myself type (again, without no evaluation or modification – just stream-of-consciousness word vomit) the more it kept the stress at bay. It was as if the act of writing it down was the same as saying “I see you stress, and I’m not having it”.

To be clear, I’m not suggesting that tracking your stress is a miracle cure. I’m still stressed, and I still need to learn how to manage that stress, but by tracking it I feel like I have a better handle on what’s going on with me, and I feel like I’ve gained a bit of control over my feelings. This is a great start.

I’m going to keep tracking my stress and starting this weekend I’ll start to use the Sleep Tracker every morning. I’ve actually been having some crazy dreams lately and I can’t wait to start to document them. I’m hoping that the Dream Journal portion of the Sleep Tracker will help me better remember and perhaps even understand what my subconscious sleeping mind is trying to tell me.

I’ll be back in a week to let you know how it goes. Until then, Happy Mapling!

A note from Chris: I love that Scott jumped in and started his challenge with the Stress Tracker.  I use it daily.  One of the things that has shifted in the world since he originally wrote this is, we no longer wonder if we are stressed, we know we are.  We no longer ask ourselves how much stress we have, we know its higher than it was six months ago.  This is why I love tracking each day – in addition to those measurements, it’s an opportunity to consider what is triggering my stress. 

I’ve learned the things I assumed would be at the top of the stressor list, weren’t. Other things that I thought would probably be little annoyances were actually key drivers that triggered higher stress, anxiety, and the emotional roller coaster. (Ok that’s not good!)

One last thought: don’t assume you have to accept those high stress levels.  There are many great resources, especially now, available to guide you while you learn to manage your stress.  The key is knowing what you are dealing with and deciding to make changes for a healthier you.  Small steps, like tracking, can give you the information and motivation you need to take bigger steps.  

Armed with my tracking insights I was empowered to make decisions about those triggers.  Self-care is often about healthy boundaries.  Understanding what things were disrupting my well-being and productivity have made it simpler to select and set those boundaries. 

Post-script – Putting those limits in place took some soul searching – it was SCARY – but I got positive results almost immediately.  The journey continues.  Onward!

#SelfCare #Wellness #StressManagement #TrackYourStress #MeetMaple

What Can I Do? 22 May 2020, 1:02 pm

These days I find myself asking (often) How can I help during the pandemic?  What assistance can I offer?  My bright idea was in front of me all along: Maple.  Maple offers a collection of tools that anyone can start using, particularly now, as we need to cope with COVID and the fallout it has brought and continues to bring to our lives. 

The question I get most often about Maple is: “What does it do?”  It actually does many things, but the purpose is always the same: supporting your wellness and personal growth efforts.  The second most asked question: “How do I use it?”

To help with both of those questions I thought I would re-run a series of blog posts that Scott wrote a while back (called Mental Spring Cleaning) highlighting how he uses a handful of the Maple tools and their impact on his wellness quest.  Proving that you don’t need to be a self-care guru to benefit from using Maple. I’ll add in my own experience with the tool he’s highlighting at the end of each post. 

As always, reach out if you have questions or want help getting started with Maple. I am happy to help.  Read on and enjoy this little flashback from Scott’s point of view!

Originally posted on March 1, 2018

By Scott Waletzko

I have a confession: I don’t really use Maple much.

More to the point: I don’t use much of Maple.

As an avid quote collector, I’m in Maple several times a day. Every time something quotable comes along while watching TV, I grab my phone, launch the Maple app, and record the quote. When reading I keep my tablet nearby to do the same. But, apart from the occasional Note or Thought, that’s all I’ve been using Maple for.

Until now.

Last week Chris casually suggested that I start a monthly challenge for myself, much like her 31 Days on the Porch. My initial response was reflexive and protective: “I don’t have time for that. I’m at my desk, working in the source code for Maple all day every day, the last thing I need to do is spend more screen time using the damn thing. I have way too much stress in my life right now to add that too.”

And there it was. Sometimes our rationale for avoiding things we need to do is the same exact reason we need to do them the most. It can sometimes be easier to protect the miserable status quo than to put in the effort to effect change for ourselves.

We built Maple specifically to help people unclutter their mind, to identify and organize sources of their stress, and to help them lead better, healthier, and more attuned lives. And in the ultimate irony, as proud as I am of the tool we built to do just that, I haven’t really even been using it. Even though I clearly needed to.

Spring has just started to show signs of life here in Virginia, so I’m going to consider this to be a bit of spring cleaning – for my mind. Each week for the month of March, I’m going to start to regularly use one feature of Maple that I currently don’t use. By the end of the month, I expect to be using the following features regularly:

• Stress Tracker
• Sleep Tracker
• Journal
• Reflections

I’ll be checking in with you guys at the end of each week and let you know how it’s going, and I’ll be paying special attention to what I’m getting out of it, personally. Hopefully we can all learn a little something from this. Feel free to play along at home, and if you do, please let me know how it’s going with your Mental Spring Cleaning challenge!

Happy Spring, and Happy Mapling!

#SelfAware #Wellness #SelfCare #PersonalGrowth #MeetMaple

Bring Back Curiosity 18 May 2020, 9:33 pm

Recently I’ve noticed something about myself (and if I’m being candid, in others too): decisions and judgements, particularly about the unexpected, tend to be quick and absolute.  As someone who advocates careful, conscious consideration of things, this discovery was disturbing. 

For instance, if I were to come across an elephant driving a Tesla my reaction would probably be “Ok sure” or “It’s a trick.”  Nothing in between.  No time taken to think about the how or why of seeing an elephant driving (these days it could be Katy Perry out for a ride, you don’t know).  It’s just acceptance or dismissal and move on.

I get it. The many things that make up the day take away from the time that used to be reserved for exploration and asking “why”.  I suppose we don’t really need to embrace the novelty of marveling at things anymore, if we want to know something, we whip out the phone and look it up.  Problem solved.  Except, as a result, I fear I’m losing my sense of curiosity and the benefits that it brings. 

There are mixed messages on the value of curiosity. Most say it’s a useful trait in business, yet many organizations stifle it (often inadvertently to move things along). My own belief is we can utilize it in a positive and healthy way. Here’s my own little real-life example of how to encourage your inquiring mind:

Way past the end of a full day, my dogs were poking at me to get up from the desk.  Their goal was dinner and to get outside for a bio break.  I was grumpy and tired after all the computer time and in no mood for their antics.  I opened up the door to the let them out and I noticed something out of the corner of my eye.  I knew whatever it was had not been there earlier in the afternoon, but I assumed it was some crumpled-up leaves that had fallen and rustled to that spot. 

On the way back I spied it again, same spot, but for some reason I slowed down to look at it.  And then I stopped.  It wasn’t foliage at all, it was a frog.  A big frog.  Just sitting there on the edge of the deck.  That struck me as odd because the deck isn’t a particularly attractive destination for frogs.  It’s not a spot rich with frog food, it’s not a preferred grassy or soggy environment and it’s a predator rich zone (remember those hounds I mentioned earlier). 

Then it struck me as really peculiar because my deck is on the second story.  It’s a full flight up to get to the level he was sitting at. 

Huh. 

This drew me in even further. As I was crouched there, I realized I could easily get to the bottom of the mystery.  My phone was in reach – I mean I had just taken it’s picture (see it above).  Still, rather than dive in for the answer I basically sat with him for a moment and gave myself a chance to wonder: how did he get there?

Maybe he hopped up one step at a time and then just kept hopping way over to the middle…

Maybe he was dropped there by a predator and was taking cover under the bottom railing…

Maybe he’s been living up here on the deck forever and I just haven’t ever seen him before…

After a few minutes I was no closer to an answer and the dogs were still hungry, so I decided to let him be. Leaving him where I found him but also realizing that I was in a better mood. I was smiling as I stepped inside.  My Kermit time had left me without any real answers but feeling much more relaxed.

Getting outside and being in nature is one of the ways I often recommend to clients to combat stress.  One reason it’s so effective is it allows your brain to release the issues and tasks it was working on and just roam freely. We call it daydreaming or being in a state of wonder. This shift actually gives your brain the chance to recharge. By the way, in that state (called default mode network), it also gets to work on processes that allow us to know ourselves better. Win – win!

Yes, I did eventually look up how far a frog can jump (in some cases 7 feet) and it’s now part of my repertoire of weird facts for cocktail parties.  More importantly, by not automatically accepting a frog was up on the second story I gave myself a little respite.  Putting my inquisitiveness to work, I had a chance to shake off the day and feel better. Next time something strikes you as odd, instead of letting it slide by, allow your curiosity to create an opportunity for well-being.

#Wonder #Nature #MeetMaple #LowerYourStress

Becoming a COVID Couch Potato 12 May 2020, 7:17 pm

I’ve been telling myself (weekly) I need to blog.  These are unprecedented times for our generation, deserving conscious consideration® and in-depth reflection.  I’ve been telling myself I, like so many other small business owners, need to remain engaged and proactive.  If at all possible, I need to enable my peers and communities as well, so we can learn, support and get a boost from each other.  I’ve been telling myself, while uninvited and horrible, this hiatus may be a good opportunity to re-set and begin again with greater clarity and resolve.  It’s one of those lemonade from lemons moments.  I’ve been telling myself all of that. 

None of that has happened.

Things are happening, but not those things.  Those are things I wanted to happen.  Instead unwanted, unplanned things happened. 

What kind of unwanted things?  First up was an anxiety inducing wave of being overwhelmed.  Putting aside the enormity of ‘Rona (thank you to James for personifying the pandemic), there was the tidal wave of “We’re in this together” and “Here’s what we are doing” and “Tips to handle this” coming at me as emails, posts, blogs, podcasts, webinars, news updates, discussion thread and commercials.  Organizations I had not heard from in years were compelled to share their COVID Disaster Plans.  Instead of inspiring and encouraging me to solider on, it forced me to sit at my desk wrapped in my anxiety blanket.

To make matters worse a lot of those messages struck me as wildly inauthentic or inappropriately opportunistic.  I’m all for pivoting and flexing your business to keep it relevant.  However, if the intention is “I can make a buck off of this” then odds are good that vibe will come through.  Suddenly everyone could help and support, which is my stomping ground, but with so many instant experts offering services and advice everything had a slightly slimy feel to me.

Here’s another thing that happened, all of the permission to be a couch potato turned me into one.  No joke, bring on the chips. 

Don’t get me wrong, I am not shy about advocating a “couch day” to help rebalance the demands we’re under.  But when it becomes a “couch week” or even a “couch month” it’s intervention time.  Like microwaving your leftovers in a plastic container: yes, you can do it, but you probably shouldn’t.  I found all of that inactivity led to an expanding sense of being uninspired. Even the things that typically get me fired up only got a lame puff of smoke from my internal engine.  I had a couch potato habit – physically, creatively, emotionally and mentally.

The next thing that happened was frustration.  Not the kind of frustration you feel trying to remove a splinter, the kind a toddler feels when they want a lollipop and Mom says, “No more lollipops today, but you can have grapes.”  I don’t want no stinking grapes.  I want a freaking lollipop, preferably one that has a Tootsie Roll center. 

It felt like everything I tried was met with adversity or a roadblock or red tape.  The world had turned against me and I was getting cranky about it.  Full disclosure – at this point I sent myself to the couch to settle down.  A little Lock-Down Time-Out if you will.

As this continued, I was well aware that I actually have something which people might find helpful: Maple.  I mean we built it to assist people with their wellness efforts.  If the pandemic wasn’t impacting how people were managing their self-care and personal growth, I can’t imagine what would. 

With all of the other THINGS happening I couldn’t figure out how to present Maple in a way that was authentic and inspiring and helpful.  So I stewed about it.  For days.  Probably weeks.  Finally, I gave up.  Literally.  I decided to do nothing.  I turned my attention to getting my garden going. I gave up on fighting the things.  I surrendered. Which is when new things began to fall into place. (Whew!)

Like you, I’m still not fully in charge of my timeline.  I can’t predict my business trend with any sort of accuracy.  To this day, there is no ground turkey in the store.  I can’t influence, never mind control any of those things.  But I can control what I offer to help others in this difficult time, so that is what I am happily putting my energy and attention into. 

We’ll start with this: use Maple for free for 90 days, including the upgrades. Seriously. Pick and choose the parts to help you navigate the crisis or simply get you through the day.  (Select All Access Pass in the Maple Store and use coupon code: MapleCOVIDSupport2020.  Redeemable until 8/31/2020.)

I’ll add this: not sure how to use Maple or what pieces might be most helpful?  Let’s do a one on one tutorial and we can talk about how you might use them. Maple was built to be super flexible so let’s find the way it works for you. 

No charge.  No sales pitch.  Just options that can help. 

Come on, join me.  Let’s get off the couch.

#MeetMaple #MakingTheMostOfCOVID #InItTogether

Feeling What You Can’t See 23 Oct 2019, 1:15 pm

Have you ever felt like you are being watched? It is unsettling and maybe even a little frustrating. You know someone or something is just beyond what you can see – but definitely there. I hate that feeling. Of course, when you do finally “see” what it is, there is a huge sense of relief. Your instincts were right, they were serving you well.

Why am I mentioning all this? Recently I was out puttering with the plants on my deck. The yard behind the deck has a small clearing and then its wooded, heavily wooded in the summer. Critters of all shapes and sizes traverse along the little creek back there. I’ve gotten really adept at picking out the sounds of romping squirrels verses the deer that frequent that area or even the neighbor’s kids or dog. While I can’t always make them out perfectly, I know they are there. So when I had this weird sensation of being observed I naturally turned back there to see what it was. Despite a careful scan and a purposeful stroll across the length of the deck, I could not pinpoint the culprit.

What do you do in cases like this? You either look again or shake it off. I did both.

Still nothing.

I returned to the plant I was fussing with and that feeling quickly came back. Rather than repeat my search I just stood motionless. Being quiet. Staying in the moment. Keeping still. Observing. In less than a minute, it came into focus. I was being watched. From the plant.

Nestled in there was a praying mantis, probably munching through lunch but very clearly keeping tabs on me to make sure I was not a threat. It was right there. At this point I couldn’t not see it, that is how obvious it seemed.

Very often this is exactly how insight hits me. There is something there. I can feel it, but I can’t quite make it out. Something is coming together, just beyond my grasp, waiting for me to figure out. Unfortunately, when this feeling hits me my natural inclination is to do what I did on the deck – go looking for it.

I ask questions, I dig around in research, I go to blogs and hit the interwebs. Sometimes I journal furiously. Occasionally that works. More often I uncover a lot of information, but I still don’t get exactly to the insight I know is lurking there. The upside to this story is after that flurry of activity my next step is usually to give up and “let it go”. Ironically, that is typically when the pieces come to together. If I simply let my focus soften for a minute and give my brain a chance to work it all on its own, without my conscious interference, that is when the magic happens.

Just like with the praying mantis, I find myself dumbfounded at how I DIDN’T see it before. I chastise myself for missing it for so long. I’ve decided that judgy voice doesn’t really serve me or my newly discovered insight. That internal criticism for how long I took to “get it”, that is really the piece that has to go.

Of course, insight doesn’t happen exactly this way every single time. Sometimes it is a thunder clap. Apparently, I don’t get to control the “how” or the “when” of insight, which is an insight in and of itself. Embracing that little gem has required some reworking of my ways because when that feeling of ‘something’s up’ happens, I want to resolve it right away. I want that knowledge now!

With reflection I’ve decided I’d rather hold off, be patient and present for just a bit and actually arrive at the insight rather than struggle to find it and abandoning it entirely if it doesn’t become clear.

The important thing is to honor that feeling, trust my intuition that there is more to discover and be open to it as it starts to reveal itself. Insights are the essential building blocks for growth and development. They help us adapt our thinking, commit to changes and find meaning. With that in mind, I will happily take them however and whenever they appear.

#PersonalGrowth  #Insight #Intuition #MeetMaple