Inventing Inventions 16 Jun 2024, 12:30 am

Love for 2-Part Inventions

Why 2-part Inventions?

“In music, an invention is a short composition (usually for a keyboard instrument) in two-part counterpoint.” – Wikipedia on Inventions

I had been playing alto saxophone since the age of 11 and fell in love with duets from the start. Duets began immediately. Back then, I received six weekly lessons as part of renting the instrument. My teacher played his instrument with me, supporting my rudimentary melody line with his harmonic line. And it sounded much better than my solo passage!

In high school, I became serious about studying saxophone as a classical instrument. I launched into a transcription of JS Bach’s 15 2-part inventions for saxophones and fell in love with them! Two years later, as a junior, I began learning the piano. Much of my focus was on those Bach Inventions.

I have written duets over the years; I still love both writing and performing duets with my music friends. Recently, I wanted more. Seven years ago, I had written one invention in the style of Bach and 1’ve more recently been inspired to write additional inventions. I am going for nine of them and am halfway there as of this writing.

Using more modern harmony and expanded rhythm has worked well. I feel inspired to continue. In addition to being keyboard works, I plan to develop them for oboes and bassoons. As they are completed, I will add them to this website.

The post Inventing Inventions appeared first on Richard J. Chandler.

Working with Anger in Your Romantic Relationship- How do you work with your or your romantic partner’s anger or your own? 5 Aug 2022, 11:08 pm

Take Two+ Tuesday
A Quote, a Thought + an Enriching Link

Quote:
“I’ve learned … that a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.” – Andy Rooney (1919- 2011) More Quotes by Andy Rooney here:

Thought:
Working with Anger in Your Romantic Relationship How do you work with your or your romantic partner’s anger or your own? Has anger led you both to gain understanding and some resolution, or has it been more typical of you to let unresolved issues go underground?

Addressing questions about anger is a significant element of my work as a Couples Therapist. I have noticed that husbands, wives & committed partners have tended to default to repeating the anger patterns they witnessed as children from their caregivers.

To change those learned anger patterns, mates must first recognize their patterns and apply specific ways of interrupting themselves and sometimes their partner. This requires higher awareness and commitment to communicating frustration in healthier and more effective ways.

Together with my co-writer, Judith Kilborn, Ph.D., we wrote more about this: Is Your Spouse Angry? 7 Ways To Calm Anger & End Arguments. Please read it here:

– Richard

+ Artistic Link:
Here is an extraordinary rendition of John Dowland’s “Can She Excuse My Wrongs?”! This is due to the brilliant and highly original work of Janelle Lucyk, singer, and Kerry Bursey on theorbo. Enjoy!

The post Working with Anger in Your Romantic Relationship- How do you work with your or your romantic partner’s anger or your own? appeared first on Richard J. Chandler.

Is it Fair to Obligate Listeners to Absorb Another’s Anger in Service to the Venting Person? 16 Jun 2022, 3:36 am

Take Two+ Tuesday
A Quote, a Thought + an Enriching Link

Quote:

“We find our energies are actually cramped when we are overanxious to succeed.”

    – Michel de Montaigne  (1533-1592)  More Quotes by Michel de Montaigne here

Thought:

Often you hear something along these lines: “Just vent and get it out when you’re mad.” And many people do just that, temporarily feeling better but leaving those around them feeling worse. Is it fair to obligate listeners to absorb another’s anger in service to the venting person?

For the person expressing their anger, repetition of having outbursts, often with yelling or threatening acts, results in normalizing angry outbursts over time.

In answering whether getting mad can be OK, it seems that a controlled expression of anger can make sense when someone has disregarded known boundaries.

Without some controlled expression of anger, the person who has crossed your boundaries may not believe you are serious about defending your values, limits, and known boundaries.

     - Richard

Click this link for the full article from my RelationshipsCommunication website that expands these ideas and discusses addiction’s role in anger.

Artistic Link:

This extraordinary live performance of Igor Stravinsky’s ”Le Sacre du Printemps – Rite of Spring” features incredible dancing by men and horses from the Theatre Zingaro Dancers with the Paris Orchestra led by Pierre Boulez. Well worth listening to and watching! I’ve viewed it numerous times and each time was totally captivated.

The post Is it Fair to Obligate Listeners to Absorb Another’s Anger in Service to the Venting Person? appeared first on Richard J. Chandler.

Responding vs. Reacting 4 Jun 2022, 12:56 am

Take Two+ Tuesday
A Quote, a Thought + an Enriching Link

Quote: To conquer oneself is a greater victory than to conquer thousands in a battle.”

        – The 14th Dali Lama    More Quotes by Lhamo Thundup, The 14th Dali Lama here

Thought: Responding vs. Reacting

I made a video of this communication tool because it is one of the most powerful ways that I know – to not say or do things that, after the fact, require an apology. I believe it will be worth much more than the time it takes to watch – just under five minutes. 

          – Richard Chandler

+ Artistic Link:

This 5-minute video features a look back by the Minnesota Orchestra’s conductor, Osmo Vänskä, on his 18-year tenure with our orchestra. His final concert will be broadcast live, Friday, June 3rd, at 7:30 pm. Central Time, on the classical station of Minnesota Public Radio, Twin Cities Public Television, and on this youtube link:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQ_Catvjg5k

The post Responding vs. Reacting appeared first on Richard J. Chandler.

Want More Relationship Happiness? Balance the Power. 19 May 2022, 10:21 pm

Take Two+ Tuesday
A Quote, a Thought + an Enriching Link

Quote:
“Guilt implanted at a tender age is not easy to destroy. A weed, it sprouts in unexpected places.” – Caryl Rivers     

More Quotes by Caryl Rivers here

Thought: Want More Relationship Happiness? Balance the Power.

Is your primary relationship balanced as it relates to power? Does one of you typically have the last say? Has one person threatened to end the relationship on multiple occasions? 

Commonly, in unhappy romantic relationships, one person holds the cards on power. Balanced power in relationships is typically more equal initially; neither person has much time invested. Either one is more likely to end the relationship if it looks unpromising. 

But once a couple is together for a few years, one person can become more committed to the relationship than the other person. The less committed one can get the notion that they know best and begin to treat the other as an unequal partner. 

This unequal treatment can take the form of anger and aggression, threats, or withdrawal of affection. In romantic relationships, it is common for the person holding power to determine whether or not they will have sex. After an argument, it is up to the person of lesser power to apologize. 

But you may be able to balance out power in your relationship leading to both of you feeling happier. Balancing power is a primary issue to address, and it may take couples’ counseling to balance the power in a relationship. #6 of the “9 Ways To Improve Your Love Relationship” gives some tips for balancing power. The other strategies also help your relationship to strengthen.

+ Artistic Link: https://youtu.be/c9pUnqtc4-kKateřina Pavlíková, the baritone saxophonist, is a wonderful musician that I have featured often in my LeadingMusicians Facebook group. 

The post Want More Relationship Happiness? Balance the Power. appeared first on Richard J. Chandler.

How Much is Too Much Alcohol? 4 May 2022, 4:02 pm

Take Two+ Tuesday
A Quote, a Thought + an Enriching Link

Quote:
“Nothing excellent can be done without leisure.”
– Andre Gide  (1869-1951)  More Andre Gide quotes here on our website.

Thought: How Much is Too Much Alcohol?

As a therapist, I have pondered the alcohol question professionally and much earlier on in my personal life. Like many people, I like tasty beer, and most days, my wife Bonnett and I enjoy one together. 

But the enjoyment of alcohol has a point of diminishing returns. Heavier drinking has been in the mix for many couples I’ve seen for therapy who have had significant discord, anger, and ruptures in their relationship, including infidelity. 

After clients who have drunk to inebriation have stopped for 2 – 4 weeks, they have frequently reported greater mental clarity. And mental clarity is critical for gaining insight and tuning into others’ perspectives.

Perhaps the most compelling reason for only drinking moderately lies in facing our difficulties directly to find ways to create a life that makes better sense. Those that have a regular pressure valve release, an escape through dulling their pain with alcohol, often avoid the hard work of owning up to what has not worked in their lives and making lasting change. 

People who escape through feeling the effect of heavier drinking put off making fundamental life changes that could improve their lives and relationships.

For those reasons, I ask clients to commit to having no more than two alcoholic drinks on any one day while they work with me in therapy. If having one or two leads to having many more, their only option is to have none. 

+ My Own Artistic Link:Addiction: Songs of Struggle & Victory. Music Richard J. Chandler. Lyrics by Lawrence Schug
0:03 “After Uncle Emil’s Funeral” (Dark and sad)
2:07 “Barbershop” (Beatles fans will like this one) 5:20 “Peaceful Interlude” (a very short instrumental) 6:42 “My Old Man’s Devil” (The victory song) Carolyn Finley, Mezzo-soprano Richard Chandler, Alto & Tenor Saxophones  Edward Turley, Piano 

The post How Much is Too Much Alcohol? appeared first on Richard J. Chandler.

Relationships Communication: Go From Arguing to Connecting 20 Apr 2022, 2:34 am

Take Two+ Tuesday
A Quote, a Thought + an Enriching Link

Quote:
“It is very easy to overestimate the importance of our own achievements in comparison with what we owe others.”  – Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Lutheran pastor, theologian, and anti-Nazi dissident who was killed by the Nazis for helping Jews escape to Switzerland  More quotes by Bonhoeffer here on our website:

Thought:
Relationships Communication: Go From Arguing to Connecting

Q: What would you guess is the most common reason wives, husbands, engaged, or other romantic partners have given for seeking couples therapy?
A: Help with their communication.

As a Marriage Therapist, couples have told me that poor communication with their partner brought them into counseling; this is what they want most to improve. But how? Although communication tools help, couples do best by first understanding and then communicating from their spouse’s perspective, even more than their own point of view.

Harmonious couples often pause before speaking to their romantic partner. By tuning into their loved ones first, they avoid arguing. Instead, their more thoughtful words strengthen, deepen and enhance their love connection.

Steps to Relationships Communication Success:

1. Get clear on your perspective with a given situation that you want to share with your partner, but hold off sharing it.
2. Value your long-term love relationship more than your desire to prove your point, have your way, or win an argument.
3. Tune into your partner. What do you know about them that tells you their perspective could be different than yours?
4. Plan your conversation timing, setting, and words so your mate’s unique perspective can be met, honored, and respected.

This relationships communication process, combined with optimal ways of communicating, can dramatically enhance your connection to your boyfriend, girlfriend, or romantic partner. More on how to tune into your partner’s perspectives here:

+ An Artistic Link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YghkIkLZXIg

The post Relationships Communication: Go From Arguing to Connecting appeared first on Richard J. Chandler.

What is Encouragement? (Hint: It Isn’t Praise)  30 Mar 2022, 6:14 pm

Take Two+ Tuesday
A Quote, a Thought + an Enriching Link

Quote:

“We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once.”

– President Calvin Coolidge  More Coolidge quotes here on my website.

Thought:

Thought: What is Encouragement? (Hint: It Isn’t Praise) 

Encouragement is the skill of intentionally observing the positive actions of others, followed by expressing our appreciation, sharing what we noticed. Our acts of encouragement build others’ confidence in themselves.

As Alfred Adler, the founder of Individual Psychology, pointed out, the word “encouragement” includes the word “courage.” Encouraging others is the act of bestowing courage.  

How May We Best Encourage Others?

Catch Them Doing Something Right: 

• (Minimize catching people doing something you deem wrong.)
• Tune in to the subtle, less apparent aspects of what they did.
• Look for the kinds of things they might have experienced, but few people would notice.

Appreciate the Behavior, Not the Person:

• Stop praising a person’s identity. Don’t say, “You are really smart.”
• Instead, appreciate their accomplishment by saying, “I’m impressed with how you figured that out! What did you do to arrive at such an optimal solution?” 
•  Finish with an expression of confidence in that person, saying, “I’m confident that your ways of figuring things out will serve you well for future problem-solving.”

Be Generous in Encouraging Others:

• Think of yourself as a wealthy philanthropist who can easily afford to encourage all who need and deserve it.
• We all need encouragement to feel valued!
• Notice how good you also feel after encouraging others.

More on courage and other Adlerian ideas in my article, Adler’s & Jung’s Insights for Artistically Creating Your Life: 
More of Adler’s ideas are here on this page on my website.

+ An Artistic Link: 

An astounding arrangement and performance of this Maurice Ravel classic!

Announcement:

I am excited to let you know of the premier of my collection of 3 songs and an instrumental interlude, “Addiction: Songs of Struggle & Victory,” based on the poetry of McKnight artist Lawrence Schug. I will perform the saxophone parts, and Carolyn Finley will sing the songs with her husband, pianist Edward Turley. This post on my music website highlights the work.

It will be part of the Pastiche CSB-SJU faculty concert at 7:30 pm on Friday, April 1st, at the Humphrey Auditorium of St. Johns University. More information on the university website. Concert campus safety requirements here. I would be honored to have you in the audience and visit with you right after the concert. 

The post What is Encouragement? (Hint: It Isn’t Praise)  appeared first on Richard J. Chandler.

Vertical vs. Horizontal Striving: What Drives Despots or Inspires Humanitarians 16 Mar 2022, 12:05 am

Take Two+ Tuesday
A Quote, a Thought + an Enriching Link

Thought: Vertical vs. Horizontal Striving: What Drives Despots or Inspires Humanitarians
Originating with the psychologist Alfred Adler and present-day Adlerians, including this writer, have expounded on ‘vertical versus horizontal striving’ to understand the actions of individuals. It helps to understand this continuum visually.  
Let’s place Russia’s hostile, despicable aggressor, Vladimir Putin, on the far right of a Vertical vs. Horizontal Striving bar graph. His is perhaps the most extreme example of vertical striving. 
People who embrace vertical striving seek to build their self-importance by continually finding others to feel superior to and looking to advance their status by seeking to climb a social ladder like an elevator on its way up to a higher floor. 
Their never-ending question is, “Who am I better than, and who is better than me?” They live their lives vertically like an elevator going up and down based on their gains or losses in status. 
Horizontal strivers occupying the left side of the horizontal bar graph are not nearly as concerned about status. Even financially well-off horizontal strivers do not feel superior to more modest economic or educational status people, and they don’t “suck up” to people with more wealth or credentials.  
Note: I am not making a political statement here with left and right. In my experience, there are many vertical strivers with liberal political views and horizontal strivers among people with more conservative viewpoints.  
The motto of horizontal strivers is, “We are all in this together.” Think of Gandhi, or in more recent times, Nelson Mandela. Horizontal strivers are team players, and even those in top leadership positions befriend janitors, line workers, and gardeners. 
We have different backgrounds, aptitudes, and skills. With horizontal striving, we see our differences as strengths. Mastery in our fields of endeavor is in the service of making a greater contribution, not as self-aggrandizement. Where would you place yourself on this continuum? Would others identify you there as well?
More of Adler’s ideas are here on this page on my website.

+ An Artistic Link: 

I shed tears from viewing this video.     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDUdK5SYa7w     

I hope you find Take Two+ Tuesday beneficial for you. If this weekly email is of interest to you, please share it or give me the email address of who you want to receive Take Two+ Tuesday with the words, “Subscribe to TTT.”  

If you received this from a friend, and you want to receive this weekly “Take Two+ Tuesday,” please email me with “Subscribe to TTT.”

Announcement:

I am excited to let you know of the premier of my collection of 3 songs and an instrumental interlude, “Addiction: Songs of Struggle & Victory,” based on the poetry of McKnight artist Lawrence Schug. I will perform the saxophone parts, and Carolyn Finley will sing the songs with her husband, pianist Edward Turley. This post on my music website highlights the work.

It will be part of the Pastiche CSB-SJU faculty concert at 7:30 pm on Friday, April 1st, at the Humphrey Auditorium of St. Johns University. More information on the university website. Concert campus safety requirements here. I would be honored to have you in the audience and visit with you right after the concert. 

The post Vertical vs. Horizontal Striving: What Drives Despots or Inspires Humanitarians appeared first on Richard J. Chandler.

Primary and Secondary Concerns: Facing Life’s Challenges Directly & Creatively 9 Mar 2022, 4:08 am

Take Two+ Tuesday
A Quote, a Thought + an Enriching Link

Quote:

“Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”

– Mark Twain   A one-paragraph bio and more Mark Twain quotes here on our website

Thought: Primary and Secondary Concerns: Facing Life’s Challenges Directly & Creatively
Often, we find a primary concern so uncomfortable that we transition to a secondary concern. We might find a life situation troubling, with no obvious way to avoid a consequence that we don’t want. And with this dilemma, we are likely to feel anxious. 
But instead of staying with the situation, doing our best to find a way forward, we might begin to be overly troubled about our anxiety and become anxious about being anxious.  
Another example is the emotion of anger. If we stay tuned into our inner processes, we might notice that what proceeded that anger was feeling hurt, experiencing unfairness, sadness or embarrassment. 
But those primary emotions may be so uncomfortable for us that we escalate into anger, with the notion that we must do something! An angry call to action often involves aggressive behavior such as shouting, attacking those we care about, or turning our anger inward and stewing. 
Next time you are feeling out of sorts, do your best to stay with whatever it is that brought on those feelings. Attempt to deal with the situation directly and be aware of any move from primary feelings to secondary ones, which will not help you face life’s challenges directly and creatively.  Here is a link to an article I wrote that relates. It is on communicating frustration without arguing.

+ An Artistic Link: 

As melancholy as the song is, there is also hope contained within it. I hope that the hope of the song prevails. Please think of our suffering fellow humans in Ukraine, as well as those brave protestors in Russia.

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