Podcast, “KTS Success Factor,” Hosted by Sarah E. Brown 5 Sep 2024, 6:36 pm

“Sawubona: A Powerful Communication Tool”

Leaders today face the significant challenge of connecting with their employees and effectively recognizing and leveraging their unique talents. This often results in disengagement and underperformance. As the millennial generation, which highly values authenticity and compassion, becomes the dominant force in the global workforce, this issue becomes even more pressing. Traditional leadership styles frequently fall short, leaving employees feeling unrecognized and disengaged. The solution lies in adopting a more compassionate, gift-centered approach to leadership. By embracing and acknowledging the unique strengths of each individual, leaders can foster a more connected, motivated, and effective team.

In this episode, Susan shares the importance of recognizing and leveraging individual gifts within an organization to foster a more engaged and productive workforce. She emphasizes the need for leaders to practice self-awareness and vulnerability, particularly in the context of working with millennials and Gen Z, who value authentic and compassionate leadership. She talks about the concept of “gift-centered praise,” which focuses on acknowledging the underlying strengths behind employees’ actions to encourage broader application of their talents.

What you will learn from this episode:

• Discover the necessary core shifts in leadership that will be a game changer in the workplace
• Find out how these three simple yet profound principles of Sawubona Leadership drive significant positive outcomes
• Listen to Susan’s spot coaching and discover practices that develop heart intelligence and intuitive knowing to help you make decisions more effectively and avoid staying too long in unsuitable roles

Listen to the episode here.

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Podcast, “Bridge to Leadership,” Hosted by Neha Singh 15 Aug 2024, 10:55 am

Episode 14: Coaching Corner: “Leading Millennials and Gen Z”

Susan Inouye has worked with over 600 organizations in a career spanning two decades. She is renowned for integrating millennial insights into corporate strategy.

Susan and Neha Singh discuss the following in this 2-part episode.

Part 1:
1. Challenges managers face in leading Millennials and Gen Zs
2. Needs of Gen Zs and how can leaders address them
3. Shifts required to lead future generations
4. Ways to put these shifts in action through “Sawubona” leadership

Part 2:
1. Making Millennials and Gen Zs aware of their blind spots
2. Developing their whole being – moving beyond carrot and stick
3. Establishing an organizational culture rooted in “Sawubona Leadership”
4. Creating space so that employees can bring their whole selves to work

Listen to the episode, Part I here.

Listen to the episode, Part II here.

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Podcast, “Transforming Work with Sophie Wade”, Hosted by Sophie Wade 10 May 2024, 1:39 pm

“The Great Resignation, Burnout, & How To Fix It”

Susan Inouye brings her proven track record in transformational change to share insights about what matters most in all our working lives and how leaders can stop the burnout, stem the tide, and engage younger employees who are walking out.

Listen to the episode here.

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Radio Show, “Close Up Radio”, Hosted by Jim Masters 10 May 2024, 1:34 pm

“Close Up Radio Spotlights Executive Coach and Author Susan Inouye”

Susan Inouye discusses her bestselling book, Leadership’s Perfect Storm: What Millennials are Teaching Us About Possibilities, Passion and Purpose.

According to Inouye, millennials want to feel heard. They want to use their gifts and have meaning and purpose in their lives. The authoritative leadership style of previous generations does not work and perhaps never did.

The new leadership paradigm is about being a whole person who brings all of their gifts and blind spots to the table and learns how to develop themselves and others as well. Today’s leaders must walk side-by-side with their people toward a shared future for all if they are to succeed in the 21st century. Click to listen below, or visit here.

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Podcast, “Chrissy Chaos Podcast”, Hosted by Comedian Chris Distefano 10 May 2024, 1:25 pm

“Can Chris Distefano SAVE HIS CAREER?!? W/ Susan Inouye | Chris Distefano is Chrissy Chaos | Ep 167

Coaching + Comedy comes together as Susan Inouye coaches Comedian CHRIS DISTEFANO live on his podcast.
Chris feels like his career is flatlining even with all the success he’s experiencing. In this episode, he talks about the challenges he’s facing as his career soars.

Susan is going to try and talk him through it. Can the Chaos be SAVED?!?! Or … is Chris just being Chris and getting in his head and wasting Susan’s time?

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Are We Creating a World That Millennials Can’t Afford to Live In? 6 Jun 2022, 2:00 pm

Photo by Ivan Samkov from Pexels.

Closing the Deep Divide that Separates Us

A business colleague posted an article about millennials’ economic future looking bleak. He asked if this generation deserved a break, especially after two recessions, the rising cost of living, and being entrenched in student debt? I started to answer his post until I saw that a millennial had posted the same article. Her plea for a do-over and student loan forgiveness stirred up hundreds of comments from well-meaning people who were very divided in their views. It was a mirror of what’s happening in our world today and the deep division it’s created. In their effort to be helpful, they instead left her feeling judged. Her response that you give me advice without knowing who I am and my situation compelled me to write this article.

The financial inequities we face today and the divisions they are creating are staggering, especially for millennials! According to an article in the New York Times, it’s becoming ever more challenging for young people to accumulate wealth, shaping a future very different than what we once considered the American Dream. Homeownership is increasingly out of reach and rent prices are skyrocketing.

In almost every way possible, millennials in the U.S. are doing worse financially than the generations that came before them. Morning Consult’s quarterly report, The State of Consumer Banking and Payments which tracks evolving financial trends reports that 46% of millennials said their finances control their life (compared to 33% of all U.S. adults) and 45% said that because of their money situation, they feel they will never have the things they want in life.

The financial divide we’ve created between those at the top and everyone else is alarming. Billionaires with unfathomable amounts of disposable income are blasting into space in the midst of a pandemic, as millennials find themselves burdened with overwhelming student loans and barely making rent. When the divide is this deep, it manifests well beyond financial realities, upper vs lower class (the middle is disappearing!) but generationally, between genders, and races. Our experience of life and how we view the world has become radically different as well.

Unfortunately, the generation who’ll be left to deal with the long-term ramifications are millennials, now the largest generation in the U.S. Labor force. As one millennial posted:

“My parents bought their house in 1992 for $200,000. Today it’s worth like 1.2 million. I make more money than they did back then, and I can’t buy a house, but rent is more than their mortgage was.”

Millennials can’t do it alone. In addition to doing what we can to dismantle the structures that create such inequities, they need our support with the daily realities, not our lectures. Yes, every generation had to face challenges that the previous didn’t. They suffered in their own way. But does that mean, because I suffered and came through it, you must suffer, suck it up, figure it out and overcome your challenges?!  Hmm……I can hear voices yelling “Yes!!”

Consider this: If we’re going to turn around a society that’s deeply divided so we create a world that we all can live in, it starts with each of us. Can we let go of our right/wrong judgments and instead look within and find our compassion for others, especially our young people that are the future?  If we continue to lecture them with our ideas and opinions which we perceive as right, they continually hear that what they’re doing is wrong. This doesn’t open them to new possibilities because they’re too busy defending their position.

What if instead, we surround young people with a community that sees their gifts; that instead of telling them what they’re doing wrong, affirms the gifts we see in them? This opens conversations about how they can use their gifts in ways that can better support them and others. What if in doing this, they begin to come up with the answers to solve their problems and change the world for the better? Can this be a small thing we can do to begin to close the deep divide we’ve created?

As an executive coach, I’ve witnessed the power of seeing the gifts in others – how people feel valued and seen for who they are and do what seems impossible – how it’s turned companies and cultures around that I’ve worked with.

This “seeing” Tony LoRe, founder & CEO of Youth Mentoring Connection calls Sawubona (Zulu for “I see you.”). After seeing its transformational impact on thousands of inner-city millennial youths, I asked him to mentor me.  Sawubona and his Gift-Centered Approach (in 30 countries) are closing the divide between at-risk youth who never thought they’d live past 18 to productive citizens, graduating from universities like USC and Harvard.  It’s transformed the way I coach executives, so they close the gap between how they connect with and care for their people, especially in a post-COVID world, to how their people respond with the motivation to use their gifts to find innovative solutions – ones that help the company fulfill their mission because they feel seen and accepted for who they are. It’s creating cultures of well-being, purpose, and profits.

How can you close the gap in your own way, so we help our young people create a world we can all thrive in and a shared future that changes our world for the better?

Coaching Strategies With a Call to Action

When people in a community see our gifts, they offer a mirror into who we truly are.

This seeing liberates us into bringing our best self forward.

– Tony LoRe, Founder & CEO, Youth Mentoring Connection

Photo by fauxels from Pexels.

Seeing the Gifts in Others & Empowering Them to Use Them (Practice)

Purpose: To bring the beauty you discovered by doing your practices into your life.

To continually open your heart by looking for the beauty in people by seeing their gifts.  In order to do this, you must be present, observant, and be open to the uniqueness of who they are.

How often: Daily

What to do: First, focus this practice on 2 people that are easy to be with and whom you communicate or see often – preferably in person or zoom or on the phone.

• Every day notice, by their actions, their behavior, their mood or attitude…how you feel when you are with them. What is their gift that is trying to come out?
• OPEN YOUR HEART to them.
• Engage COMPASSION – “there before the grace of my higher power go I.”
• Use all of what you’ve experienced on your journey, especially your practice of “Walk in Beauty” to help you to see the gifts in them.

Photo by Ryutaro Tsukata from Pexels.

• REREAD the definition of our gifts. (see below)
• You are on a quest to find their gifts.
• Remember: The behavior is not the gift.  The behavior points to the gift.  For example, if someone is always doing research, their gift may be that they are analytical.  If a person meets their deadlines consistently, their gift may be that they follow through on their commitments or their gift may be that they are driven.

Next level: Next, find ways to support them in their gifts so those gifts come fully forward.  With your people, it may be mentoring them, so their gifts are more fully developed or just appreciating their gifts (giving them kudos when you notice the gift) so they are encouraged to do more of what works.  With your peers, it may be acknowledging their gifts so you can now see them through a filter of compassion rather than judgment.

Next level: This allows you to then come up with a more supportive way to ask questions about areas that don’t make sense or that you disagree with. Next, focus this practice on people that may be challenging to be with or that may trigger you in your life.  ASK:  What is the gift that is trying to come out? especially in behavior that you consider to be “bad behavior.”

Remember: Every behavior is an attempt to get closer to our gifts and have them validated. If you truly care about someone, you will find a way to be with them, understand them and accept them for who they are.

GIFT: A gift is what we were born to bring naturally into the world. It’s just who we are. It’s different than a strength. A strength we work hard at to be competent in. We can get so good at something that it appears to be a gift. But the difference is that a strength takes energy and effort whereas a gift fills us with energy and is effortless.

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The Great American Burnout! 14 Mar 2022, 2:00 pm

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

How to Keep Your Best Talent and Escape the Great Resignation

Anne was feeling burned out and on the edge of leaving her company. She saw no way out. In a last attempt to figure things out, she turned to me for help.

Anne is a Senior Director of a national financial institute, leading a team of twenty while balancing her role as a mother of two young children and working from home. For the past two years, she’d asked her boss for help as there had been an exodus of employees resigning from the firm, mostly staff.  He shared that he was doing his best. It was challenging finding good people. Besides, his hands were tied with a limited budget. After two years of hearing the same story, his reasons now seemed like excuses that left her feeling unsupported and overlooked.

She was fortunate to have a great team of loyal individuals. Her caring ways and strong efforts to offer appreciation and support made them feel valued. It engaged and motivated them to face and deal with the challenges that this pandemic presented. However,  without the needed number of staff, she was so busy doing her work and helping her team complete projects that she had no time to be a Sr. Director and leader that she knew she could be. This weighed heavily on her. After all these years, she felt stuck and burned out.

Limeade, a company passionate about delivering healthy employee experiences, released a study that found the number one reason “Great Resigners” quit their jobs was “burnout.” Instead, they look to join organizations that care for their well-being and provide improved flexibility.

On the employer side of the equation, an article in the Wall Street Journal reports that companies now are looking for executives with soft skills that weren’t always valued before. Being empathetic, understanding of others, valuing diverse viewpoints and feelings, and creating a culture of well-being are all critical qualities they are looking for in leaders. Companies are realizing that to maintain a workforce in this environment takes a sensitivity to others and the ability to bring a divergent group of people together. Today the role of a leader has expanded beyond running just a profitable business.

Now more than ever, leaders need to care for and value their people. They need to be in tune so they can anticipate how to help before their people ask. Apologies like “my hands are tied” do little to stop the bleeding of their company’s best talent. Today leaders need to untie their hands, fight for their people and be resourceful. This means finding innovative ways to address symptoms like burnout by discovering and working on the root cause. Creating cultures where people feel valued and cared for cultivates belonging and loyalty. The alternative is turnover where the best talent leaves or is recruited by competitors, offering what the current company doesn’t.

So, what’s an innovative solution to retain your top talent in the Great American Burnout? How can you help your people with the stress and pressure they face so they won’t burn out and leave? How can you buy yourself time in order to replace the ones who have left?

According to LinkedIn 2019 Workplace Learning Report, 94% of employees say they would stay at a company longer if it invested in their learning and development. In their 2020 Report, leadership skills top the list of their learning goals.

IMPACT Group’s study on leadership development programs found that 48% of HR leaders plan to expand the use of coaches to develop individuals or teams – especially those working virtually. The best companies are realizing that coaching is one important way to retain their employees, especially external coaching. This is key as it provides a safe place to share with someone outside the company.

The stress and pressure will always be there. However, good coaches can help leaders and their employees transform into a new way of being that develops their capacity to thrive in a complex and uncertain world. And the most forward-thinking companies have established respectable budgets their people can tap into when seeking help.

Below explains how coaching (especially executive coaching) can be the most effective solution in retaining your top talent. For Anne, it made the difference, solved her burnout issues, and allowed her to stay in her position. She was able to find more work-life balance, resulting in becoming a leader with the capacity to thrive in a post-COVID world.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Creates an environment where a person feels safe to open up.

In my first few sessions with Anne, she was surprised to find herself mentioning things she’d never told her internal performance coach. As a leader, she didn’t want to appear vulnerable. Her internal coach was there to help her achieve her goals, not listen to her personal fears. But it’s these fears that we don’t want to face, along with certain blind spots that trip us up.  Dealing with the resultant unwanted patterns that we are unaware of is at the core of helping a person transform. The byproduct is that leaders reach their goals in ways that support themselves and others.

Photo by Angela Roma from Pexels

Opens an awareness to see their situation from new perspectives.

Anne attributed her burnout to all the work she had to do because they were short-staffed. Noticing the hours spent, I could understand. However, bringing new distinctions opened her eyes to other areas, she was unaware of.  Among the issues that we uncovered:

• Worried constantly about fulfilling her role as Senior Director who was seen as a leader and promotable.
• Stressed because promotion meant bringing in new business (BD). Being short-staffed, there was no time.
• Feeling pressured to network with strangers and get them to buy her services.

Photo by The Local Bus from Pexels

 Allows a person to see beyond symptoms and get to the root causes.

Burnout is a symptom. Discovering the root cause takes looking more closely at areas that give and deplete energy.

Anne was happy to discover that her leadership qualities were valued today. Her gifts of giving,  empathy, compassion, and sensitivity to others and their viewpoints, built a divergent and solid team of good and loyal employees who had the capacity to achieve the results needed even without her help and with limited staff.

Realizing this, she saw she had time to do BD, to focus on areas where she’d be valued and seen as a promotable Senior Director. Helping her people grow into leaders and build a culture where they felt a sense of belonging, energized, and inspired her. Here she was comfortable. But BD drained her. She began questioning if she was even good enough to be in a more senior role?

Here was the root cause of her burnout. She gained insight that she was doing things to be good enough in eyes of others. It was a never-ending cycle of pleasing people that was burning her out. However, if she truly discovered who she was – gifts, blind spots, patterns, and acting from that place, she would stop trying to “act” the role of a leader and instead, “be” one.

Photo by Nina Uhlíková from Pexels

 Opens a person to embody new practices that cultivates new habits and develops new competencies.

Anne saw that she “was” a leader when she worked with her people. Building a solid team was one side of her leadership capabilities that she excelled in; BD was the side that challenged her. Yet, she recalled the most rewarding times in her career were when she was overcoming challenges. In doing so, what was uncomfortable became comfortable.

To work on her root cause, I started with her gifts. One of her core gifts is “generosity”. Anne gave endlessly to her family, friends, and team. She learned that a gift becomes a weakness when we overuse it. We see no other choices. Wanting to please others was a result of overusing generosity. It blinded her to learn to receive, whether it be help, words, ideas, solutions, compliments. She realized that giving made her feel good enough. However, it didn’t empower her people to be more creative in solving their own issues. Instead, they sought the answers from her

She learned practices that allowed her to embody what it feels like to let go and receive. It was challenging but she enjoyed receiving her team’s help and empowering them to find creative solutions to solve issues on their own. This gained her more time.

Anne discovered that she could use her gifts that created an amazing team into building connected relationships inside and outside of the firm. She felt good to give her expertise to executives and their prospects to help them close new business. In return, they referred her business.

We worked on many areas and Anne steadily developed the leadership capabilities that made her highly valued in her company. She found the work-life balance that helped her thrive in a very stressful world. Recently, she was invited to become a part of an executive committee, the next step in being promoted. However, that didn’t excite her as much as the belief and confidence she now feels. “I’m finally becoming the leader I always knew I could be not to prove I’m good enough but to just be me.”

Sawubona!

Susan

Coaching Strategies with a Call to Action

“Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world.

For, indeed, that’s all who ever have.”

– Margaret Mead

Photo by Alexander Suhorucov from Pexels

Sitting:  Centering Around My Heart

Receiving & Giving Appreciation (Practice)

Purpose:

• To develop the intelligence of your heart through a practice of appreciation.
• To feel what it is like to receive appreciation from others – experience it, be with it, accept it in our hearts, and then give it back.

How Often:   Daily for about 1-3 minutes per sitting (you can extend your time per sitting with whatever makes you feel comfortable.); Once in the morning before you start your day and once in the evening before you retire for bed. Be consistent. Alternate this practice with the Sitting Practice:  “Centered Around The Heart.”

Photo by Yaroslav Shuraev from Pexels

 What to do:

• Sit up straight in your chair.
• Feet on the floor with your hands hanging to your sides.
• Lift your hands and wherever they fall on thighs, let them fall.
• Close your eyes.
• Bring awareness to your HEART area.
• Take 5 deep, slow breaths as if breathing through your heart.
• Bring to mind someone or it also could be a pet that loves you. When you are around them, you affect them in a way that makes them feel appreciated and/or understood and/or safe and/or loved. They know that you see them for who they are, and they feel safe to be with you.
• Now bring a sense of joy into your heart for them and for you being that person who brings them such joy.
• Keep feeling the sense of appreciation in your heart. Now imagine that this person is standing in front of you at a distance.  You can see them in the distance. They are smiling at you.
• Now RECEIVE appreciation from their heart to your heart…..a golden ray of light of appreciation that goes from their heart to yours.
• Feel what it is like to receive appreciation. Be with it for 20 seconds or longer.
• Now send appreciation from your heart to their heart……a golden ray of light that goes from your heart to their heart…..giving appreciation for the gifts they bring into the world. Continue to do this for about 20 seconds or longer, completing the circle of light –RECEIVING & GIVING.
• Now feeling appreciation in your heart, allow that feeling of appreciation to extend from your heart to all parts of your body from your feet to your head out through your fingers…….like the golden rays of the sun shooting out to all parts of your body. Feel appreciation for all the gifts you bring into the world.  Be with this feeling for 20 seconds or longer.
• Now expand those golden rays of light of appreciation out beyond your body into the universe.
• In this feeling of appreciation, take 5 deep, slow breaths as if breathing through your heart.
• Slowly open your eyes and adjust to the room.
• Now integrate this “way of being” into how you are with yourself and others through your day.

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Can Acceptance and Forgiveness Heal the Wounds in a World Divided? 13 Dec 2021, 6:49 pm

Remembering the Path to Peace Starts in Our Own Hearts

I’ll never forget the deep sadness I felt when my family had to take my younger sister, Jane who was one of my four siblings off life support. After 17 days in ICU where we tried everything possible to wake her from her coma, it wasn’t to be. To let my sister go was unthinkable. For my mother, it was devastating.

I remember my sadness turning to anger. It’s as if I needed someone to blame. I turned to my higher power and ask, why?!! Why take my sister? She was a good person. She worked hard at her job, volunteered to help nonprofits, lived a healthy lifestyle. Her recent physical showed all signs were good. In fact, she had just placed first in her age division in a marathon. When she collapsed, running along the American River Parkway and was taken to ICU, her running community showed up every day to do whatever was needed to support Jane, my mother and me. Closest in distance, I had flown to Sacramento. During my stay, I felt so much love for my sister from her friends. They told stories of her goodness and what she meant to them. I was touched yet saddened because I didn’t know these things about Jane. I realized how busy my four sisters and I had gotten in our lives. Living in different parts of the country, we often didn’t keep in touch.

It wasn’t fair! It wasn’t her time to leave this planet. My husband said it was her dharma, but that was difficult to accept especially when feeling my mother’s pain. Watching her weep as she lay her head on Jane’s heart for the last time is an image that I will never forget.

It’s been six years since Jane’s passing yet accepting her fate is still an ongoing process. Acceptance can be challenging especially when there are no answers, no certainty as to why things happen. But I have found that letting go of blame starts with opening the door to forgiveness. It’s truly one of the hardest yet transformational journeys I am on. I learned that in accepting my sister’s fate, and looking towards forgiveness, I had to look at the deep wounds that lie within me. I wasn’t always the ideal sister. Being passionate about my work, I sometimes found myself so focused on it that I often didn’t take time to call or visit Jane. It wasn’t until her death that I found some of her writings in a journal. She mentioned how much she admired the work I did to help others transform themselves and their lives. She was interested to learn more but understood my busy schedule. She also wondered if I was experiencing the joy of my life beyond work. I wept. Her words struck a chord in me that touched my heart and soul in a profound way. Her insightful wisdom helped me to realize that I was looking for others to blame because I didn’t want to face my own wounds. Until I released my fears and forgave myself, I would be stuck in the same patterns that prevented me from experiencing the joy of my life beyond work.

As I began my journey of forgiveness, I discovered the deep wound of “not feeling good enough.” I discovered that I managed it by constantly coaching to help others, so I’d feel valued. The more clients I coached, the more valuable I’d feel. But I’ve discovered through my work, the overuse of anything can become our curse, our weakness. Overworking was the curse that prevented me from knowing Jane and sadly after her death, I finally realized that. In forgiving myself, in asking Jane forgiveness, I began to feel a sense of freedom and peace in my heart. It was a wake-up call not just for me, but I could see a shift in my sisters. We realized that life is fleeting. Nothing is ever certain no matter how good of a life you live.

Jane’s death taught me so many lessons. She reminded me what’s most important in life. The work will always be there, but it’s taking time to experience the other parts of my life, especially being with family is helping me to be a better coach and more importantly, a more fulfilled human being.

Today we live in an extremely divided world – externally and internally. Externally: racial injustice, gender inequality, generational differences, impact of COVID-19 with positive and negative responses to wearing masks or getting vaccinated, political strife, wealth gaps. Internally: what we do (our accomplishments) from who we are (essence of our character); our heads (intellect) from our hearts (emotional intelligence) and bodies (somatic intelligence).

We look to blame others for seeing the world differently than we do. We let our expectations (our rules for how things should be done; how others should behave) get in the way of seeing the gifts and good in each other. What will it take for us to put down our right/wrong judgments and see each other through the eyes of a compassionate heart? How can we bring more acceptance of each other and our differences and see each person as a doorway into a new world? How can we walk the path of forgiveness, so we heal the wounds we suffer?

Imagine if each of us accepted ourselves for who we are – the good, bad and ugly? And instead of looking at others to blame for our pain and suffering, we looked within ourselves. Imagine if we forgave ourselves for the hurt, harm and suffering, we have caused others and ourselves, knowingly and unknowingly? Perhaps, we could then open our hearts to the lovingkindness that is in each of us. We could see through a different filter that’s more accepting and forgiving of others who have different beliefs, ideas, ways of moving in our world and who may have caused us harm, knowingly and unknowingly.

Imagine each of us doing the work on ourselves and like beating the drum of our unique song of the heart, it compassionately resonates outward to touch the pain and suffering of others so they too can heal. Imagine the exceptional music we could create together that becomes our portal to finding a path to peace, especially one that starts in our own hearts.

I offer you these insights because it pains and saddens me to see how much we have drifted apart as a society, as a world with so much anger and hate towards each other. As a coach, as a human being who has a deep passion to help people come together to change the world for the better, I’ve learned that the path to transformation starts with transforming ourselves. We can’t control others, but we can control what’s within us. So, I offer you these practices and readings below. It will invite you on the path of forgiveness and lovingkindness. Both are from the works of my teacher, Jack Kornfield. My gift to you; a place to begin to heal ourselves, our communities, our world.

Love and blessings this holiday season!

Sawubona!

Susan

Coaching Strategies with a Call to Action

“The pain of our past cannot be released – until we touch them with healing and forgiveness.” 

-Jack Kornfield

Opening Up to Forgiveness (Practice)

Purpose: Forgiveness is the gateway to the North in the Medicine Wheel. The North is the place where the work we have been doing for so long finally settles down and there is a sense of peace of where we are in our lives. We feel that we can enjoy the fruits of our labor with a sense of balance. Forgiveness is one of the most difficult gateways to pass through because it deals with the forgiveness of not just others, but more importantly, ourselves.

How often: 2 times a week

What to do: Follow the instructions below. There are stages to forgiveness.

Period of time: Do the above practice for the next 6 months.

Stage One: Being in Our Pain/Anger/Hurt

• Allow yourself to be with your pain, anger, hurt. Don’t push it away…just be with it and let it come up. This may take 1-2-3 days before it starts to subside…or even longer.
• As you are with your pain, NOTICE the thoughts/stories that are coming up about what has happened. Do as in a Sitting meditation: Notice, Say “Thinking”, Let it go, and breathe and engage your senses.
• NOTE: If you live in the thoughts/stories that you tell yourself, then you add fuel to the fire and it will keep burning brightly. Also, try to not repeat your situation and what happened to others. This will also keep the fire burning brightly. Tell a few close family/friends and then let it go. Not easy to do.

Stage Two: Coming Back to Center

• After 1-2 days, even if the pain has not subsided, do your practices that will help to break your pattern and get you back to center.
  • Meditate (Sitting Practice), Breathe during the day consciously, Walk in Beauty, Tai Chi Chuan, Re-centering. This will remind your body of your other way of being so you can come back to a grounded and calm space.

Stage Three: Understanding Forgiveness

• Read The Art of Forgiveness, Lovingkindness and Peace, by Jack Kornfield

Stage Four: Forgiveness of our deep wounds

• Even when the wound is so deep, we don’t have to live our lives in that betrayal but we can change it. Even in terrible times, we have to learn to love.
• Forgiving others starts with first forgiving ourselves – our mistakes, guilt, fears, shame, unworthiness, the harm we have caused others because we’ve all cause harm to others.
• To forgive ourselves releases us so we no longer carry that burden so we can live freely with the same tenderness, mercy and forgiveness as we would hold any other living being.
• Make a list of those people who in your life have created great harm to you and possibly those close to you. Put the person that has harmed you amongst these other people. Now take each person and now see them when they were young. Imagine all the hurt, suffering and betrayal that they must have suffered to harden their own hearts and let them act the way that they have.
• Next, make a list of those people who you have brought harm to in some way.

Stage Five: Guided Forgiveness and Lovingkindness Meditation

• Do the guided meditation which was taught to me by my teacher, Jack Kornfield.

The post Can Acceptance and Forgiveness Heal the Wounds in a World Divided? appeared first on Executive Coach Los Angeles | Susan Inouye.

The Great Awakening! 13 Aug 2021, 2:00 pm

As Employees Quit Their Jobs, Leaders ask,

“You mean I’m the one who has to change?!”

With the pandemic came one of the biggest disruptions in our physical workplace, company culture,  leadership and lives. The patterns we got stuck in were interrupted big time! We were forced to immediately replace old habits with new ones. In the process, we stopped, got off the “hamster wheel” of our busy lives, reflected and noticed what’s most important in our lives.

As companies put in guidelines so their employees can safely return to work in this new normal, people are quitting their jobs in what some are calling the “Great Resignation.”  According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS), in April 2021, a record all-time high of 4 million people quit their jobs. This equals a 2.7 percent rate of quit, which is the highest recorded since the BLS started collecting this data in 2000. With these resignations, comes a record high number of job openings – 9.3 million, according to the BLS. Today employees have the upper hand. The Great War for Talent is on!

Unless leaders have created a culture that people want to be a part of, they won’t attract the best talent. Unless they know how to engage them to bring out their best selves, people won’t experience purpose in the work they desire. Unless there’s a leadership path where their contributions are valued, where they feel a part of something greater than themselves, they won’t stay. Yes, this is what keeps your best talent today!

Executives and senior managers are befuddled at exit reviews, especially from young people. Here’s a few, shared with me from frustrated leaders who reached out for help.

• I don’t want to work nights and weekends!
• I’m changing my career. I found a company that values my talents, where I can work normal hours and spend time with my kids.
• All this company cares about is business development. They don’t care about the people.
• The beliefs of this company are not my beliefs.
• I can’t express my ideas here. When I do, the leaders don’t listen.
• This was never my ideal job. I want to find something I love doing.
• Working from home, I can be myself. But at work, I must be someone else. I need to find a company where I can be me!
• It’s time I retire so I can stop working so hard and enjoy my life.

These sentiments, I’m hearing way too often. People are crying out for a different kind of leader and company culture. They won’t put up with less. Many young people won’t work for Corporate America. Instead, they’re working independently or starting their own business. In 2020, independent workers’ wages and participation grew 33%. In fact, 41.1 million adults across ages, skill sets, and income levels are working independently as consultants, freelancers, contractors, and temporary or on-call workers in 2019. They are contributing $1.3 billion to the U.S. economy— or 6.2% of the US GDP.

Today, there’s a shortage of good talent which puts the burden on leaders and their people. Employees, burned out from carrying the load for too long are unhappy; senior management is frustrated because they can’t find talent with the kind of experience they need. They’re realizing they’ll have to develop good potential people into the best fit for the position. Millennials are ready to be those people. With over 56 million, they’re the largest generation in the U.S. labor force. Their workplace experience has an enormous impact on business outcomes. It turns out what matters to millennials, matters to all of us. They’re just the first generation taking a strong stand.

According to the Gallup study “How Millennials Want to Work and Live”, here’s how leaders must change their thinking.

What’s the path to go from the past to the present and into the future?  I’ve discovered over the last decade there are five LeaderShifts, leaders must make to thrive in this new normal, ones that especially resonate with millennials and Gen Zs. Bill, a client, and partner in a national firm is a great example of a leader who made the shifts. He’s inspiring his senior managers to not just meet their goals but to exceed them even in these challenging times.

From Control to CONNECT & RECEIVE

When the pandemic hit, Bill’s company had to let many employees go. Bill knew that this would increase the workload on his senior team. Thrown into uncertainty, with his people working virtually, he had to let go of controlling everything. Instead, he reached out and connected (how I feel when I’m with you) with each person because he truly cared. Setting up weekly individual calls, his conversations steered away from work to finding out how they were personally doing. He even kept a journal, so he’d remember what was most important to them. Happy to hear from him and feeling his compassion, they opened in ways that surprised him. The personal setting revealed more of their gifts, blind spots, patterns, fears. It helped him to receive who they were, so he better engaged and coached them to become the leaders they wanted and needed to be.

From Conformity to SEE & ACCEPT

To support them on their leadership journey, he individually coaches them on a path that honors the uniqueness of each individual. He sees and accepts all of who they are – gifts, blind spots, patterns. Through a Gift-Centered Approach, he helps them to discover and honor their own gifts; engages them in practices to turn blind spots into strengths, and shares self-observations so they’re aware of patterns that don’t support them and replaces them with ones that do. Knowing that Bill is a source of guidance and support, brings a sense of relief, motivating them with new energy to go the extra mile.

From Expectation to INTENTIONS

When the layoffs happened, instead of expecting his people to do the extra work, his intention was to immediately look at the situation unfolding and find every way he could to support them in being their best. He helped them see how their gifts could make a significant difference in the challenges they faced. He shared stories from his own transformational journey, opening them to new distinctions and ways of being in the world as a leader. Instead of expecting certain results based on his standards, he had the intention to support them to rise to their own highest standards.

Bill’s intention to observe and see their gifts; praise the gift even when seeing a glimpse of it being used makes his people feel highly valued for their contributions. Gift-Centered Praise is a powerful practice that is helping him to connect with his people virtually and through emails; reinforce the good by acknowledging their gifts. He’s noticing that it’s helping them feel valued; go the extra mile; find purpose in their work because they know their gifts are making a difference.

From Authority to AUTHENTICITY

During these challenging times, Bill finds himself taking more Walks in Beauty and doing other practices of appreciation, helping him to tap into his compassion, so he sees past his people’s actions and connects into the heart of who they are.

Although he’s in his compassionate heart more often, when one of his people acted without thinking of the long-term consequences, he got triggered into his authoritative attitude. “I found myself lecturing instead of being curious about the blind spots that were tripping her up and my unwanted patterns took over,” he told me. However, realizing what happened, he recentered, becoming grounded and present; then apologized to her. Through Gift-Centered language, he opened the conversation to discovering how their gifts triggered each other. Now, they discussed how they both could redirect their gifts, so they better serve the other. By being open and vulnerable, Bill is cultivating a culture where his people feel safe to be their authentic self and where he’s living into the kind of authentic leader he wants to be.

From Bottom-line Myopia to BELONGING

By making the LeaderShifts, Bill is creating a culture where people feel they belong. They’re inspired to go the extra mile and do whatever is needed to achieve the department’s goals. They are building a strong foundation in preparation for their next level of leadership.  Some are up for partner.

A month ago, Bill mentioned that as he has made these changes, these past two years have been the best years of his life. It was heartwarming to hear. At the beginning of his journey, his senior managers felt he was insensitive to their needs. Today, I’ve seen emails from these same people expressing their deep and heartfelt gratitude. In fact, other senior managers, who aren’t his direct reports want him to coach them. They’ve heard that “he’s the best!” By making the “shifts,” Bill is living into being the exceptional leader he always envisioned he could be.

Coaching Strategies with a Call to Action 

“Do not follow where the path may lead.
Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Re-centering (Practice)

 Purpose

• To bring you back into being present when you disconnect or go on automatic pilot.
• To bring you back to center when you get triggered by a situation or person and get off-center. Remember, it’s not about staying on center; it’s about coming back to center each time you’re triggered. This creates a new home base that your body gets comfortable with as its new normal.

How Often: Use this practice as needed during the day for a quick timeout to get grounded, connected, and centered. You can also use it when in conversations or meetings or when mildly triggered with a person or situation. This is not a practice to use when highly triggered. 

What to Do  

There are many ways to re-center. This is one my clients and I have found to be simple and effective. You can do this in front of people or in meetings with your eyes open.

• Sit in a chair with your back straight, your feet flat on the floor, and your hands hanging to your sides. Lift your hands and let them fall naturally on your thighs. Close your eyes or keep them open. Bring awareness to your belly or navel area.
• Exhale down through the center of your belly—near your navel—and down through your legs and into the earth.
• Inhale slowly through your belly and let the breath fill your entire body from your feet to the top of your head, down through your arms, and out the tips of your fingers.
• Repeat exhaling and inhaling in this way as many times as needed until you feel calm, grounded, and centered.
• Breathe normally.
• Now bring awareness to your feet, which are grounded on the floor. Keeping that awareness of your feet on the floor, also bring an awareness to the top or crown of your head.
• Keeping an awareness of your feet on the floor and the top of your head, slowly open your eyes, or if they are already open, simply continue in your state of centeredness.
• Move through the day in this new way of being—in a more calm, grounded, and centered way.

It’s important when you do any kind of meditation, that you take your new way of being into your day. Don’t do the meditation and then go back to your pattern of, say, moving quickly or in an ungrounded way. Take what you’ve established in your body, and from there do what you need to do. Notice how that feels compared to, say, rushing through everything.

Confronting Others through the Language of Gifts (Practice)

 Purpose

• To get out of right/wrong conversations when triggered by others and, instead, see the gift in bad behavior.
• To not punitively reprimand someone for their gift that is being used in an undesirable way and, instead, redirect the gift into a better path of supporting everyone involved.

 How Often: When having to confront someone whose actions (small or large) are perceived as bad behavior.

 What to Do

 Connect and Receive

• Connect into yourself by using any of the meditation or appreciation practices listed that help you to become calm, grounded, and centered. If you are highly triggered, take a day to cool off. When you are centered and grounded, ask, “What is the gift that is trying to come out?” If you see none, be open that it is there. This will help you to look through a filter of compassion, instead of judgment.
• Connect with the person and receive their message by talking in a neutral location (e.g. conference room, coffee shop, etc.) or better yet, taking a walk. It helps to sit or walk side by side. When you’re facing the person you’re having an issue with, there’s a feeling of confrontation. However, when you’re walking or sitting side by side and looking in the same direction, it physically sends the message “we’re facing the same challenge together.” It’s not me against you; it’s me with you. Note: In my experience, men generally respond better with walking; women with sitting. However, it’s important to pay attention to what each individual responds to.
• State the situation and its effect on you. Just state what you observed and the effect it had on you (without right/wrong judgment). Don’t pile on several similar situations; otherwise, people will feel attacked. Focus on one and open up to other instances if needed. See the example of one of my clients below.

Manager: Situation: “Trey, when we talked the other day and I asked if you met the deadline for VE, you mentioned that you did. Then I got a call from John [CEO of VE] upset that the project was a day late.”

Effect on You: “I didn’t know what to say. I told him that I’d look into it. So what happened?”

Trey: Well, you know VE. They’re always changing things at the last minute. But I was happy to do it for them, no problem. Then Megan came to me. She was in a bind. Our new software was giving her errors, and I knew what to do. So I wanted to help. When I got back to the project, I didn’t anticipate it taking so much time.

See the Gifts

No matter what the person’s response, it’s usually better not to address it directly. Why? Because you’re likely to get into a right/wrong conversation. Instead, go to the gifts. It almost always leads to talking about the person’s gifts, blind spots, and patterns. Use the gift as the portal to a different conversation of openness and learning.

Manager: Trey, you have many gifts. You have an innate desire to help others. You’re also flexible. You go with the flow of whatever comes your way. All these gifts are valuable in the work that you do with your team and with our clients. What happens is that you tend to overuse these gifts until they become your weakness. Do you know what I mean?

Notice how the manager asks questions. This engages others and gets them involved in their own development and growth.

Trey: No, not really.

Manager: Every gift has another side. It’s what we’re blind to. We get into tunnel vision, so we tend to see only one way of doing things. We’re blind to other ways of doing things. Like someone who has a gift of planning, the person sees the world through the lens of planning things. So they are blind to . . . you know what?

Trey: No.

Manager: It’s going with the flow. When things don’t go according to plan, a person with the gift of planning has a hard time going with the flow and changing directions. That’s your gift. So a person whose gift is going with the flow, as you do, has a hard time . . . do you know?

Trey: You mean, planning?

Manager: Yes. That’s what you’re blind to. It’s your blind spot. Trey, going with the flow is a great gift. You’re one of the most flexible people I know. That’s why I gave you VE. It’s just that when you overuse this gift, you are reactive to whatever comes your way, rather than have a plan to work from. When you plan ahead and organize your time, then you’ll know your priorities—the most important things you must do. Then it’s easier to tell others what you can and can’t do. Make sense?

Trey: I’ve always hated plans because then you’re stuck to that plan.

Manager: I understand. That’s why it’s great to have a plan and be flexible as you are; then, you can do both. If things change from your plan, you have the gift to change directions. But first, you need a plan because it gives you a direction for where you’re going.

Trey: I think I see what you’re saying.

Manager: Another one of your gifts is helping others. When we overuse this gift, we want to please others. Your desire to please others, however, blinds you to another way of doing things. What happens when you focus too much on helping others?

Trey: I don’t have enough time to do my work.

Manager: Yes. So you’re blind to leaving enough space to help yourself. However, when you focus on helping yourself, it’s easier to set boundaries. This allows you to push back and sometimes say no or direct others to find their own solutions, rather than you always coming to their rescue.

Trey: So you want me to give up my gifts?

Manager: Look, I’m not asking you to give up your gifts. I’m asking you to balance out both helping others and helping yourself, of going with the flow and planning. When you can do both; then your gift will have greater capacity. You’ll be able to do your projects on time and empower others to grow so they figure out other solutions, instead of just having you solve their problems.

Trey: But why do I have to do both? Isn’t doing one good enough? After all, I’ve gotten this far with these talents.

Manager: Yes. Those talents have served you well, especially when our department was smaller. There was more time for you to help others and still have time to make your deadlines because we didn’t have as many customers. But now that we’re a larger department with more employees and customers, you don’t have that kind of time. Trey, you keep trying the same things, and you’re not getting different results because things have changed. So don’t you think you need to try something different?

Create a Sawubona Culture

• Relate consequences of the individual’s actions: It’s usually good to start with the broader consequences of the person’s actions on themselves and on others.
• Redirect the person’s gift into a more supportive path: Help the individual learn, grow, and move forward without squashing their gift. Depending on the situation, this could lead to training, coaching, mentoring, a write-up, move into another position, firing, etc. With moments of tough love, it’s especially important to continue to speak from your heart.

Scenario 1: Leads to training, coaching, or mentoring

(Beginning stages of manager helping the employee)

Manager: Trey, I see a lot of potential in you. Do you understand how being late on your deadlines is impacting our team that depends on you to do your part, our clients in their business, our company, and me who believes in you? Most importantly, it’s impacting you. You are constantly staying late at work to finish projects and get them out on time. And many times, you’ve been late or had to ask the client for an extension.

Trey: But it’s hard to say no when people come to me asking for things, especially if I have the skills to help them out.

Manager: I understand. So, maybe mentoring could help you out. Do you know Peyton?

Trey: Yes. We used to work together.

Manager: Well her gifts are your blind spots. Peyton is a great planner and organizer. In fact, she’s been working on being flexible and going with the flow, which is your gift. She can mentor you in her gift of planning. Then it’ll be easier to let others know what you can and can’t do, especially when you have a plan for the week and know your priorities, as long as you work the plan.

Trey: Okay, I’ll talk with her. I’ll let her know why you suggested her mentoring me. [The company had a mentoring program in place so it was easier for Trey to be open.]

Manager: Tell her that we can arrange her schedule so she has time to work with you. I think she’ll be a great help since she used to work in your department. Besides, I think that Peyton can learn from you too.

Trey: Sounds like a plan. [Trey smiled.]

Manager: Let’s set up check-ins with Peyton, you, and me every week to see how you’re doing, so you can ask questions that will help you. We’re going to give you the help that you normally give to others. Can you think of anything else that would help you out?

Trey: Not really.

The manager redirected the gift and did not squash it. By giving Trey an opportunity to be mentored on his blind spots, he can build greater capacity with his gifts. In the end, both Trey and Peyton can learn from each other because each of their gifts is the other person’s blind spot.

Scenario 2: Leads to firing the person

(Employee not responding after months of supporting and working with the manager. Note: Previous steps—Connect and Receive, See the Gifts—might have a different flavor of conversation, but the core of what you do is the same.)

Manager: Trey, I see a lot of potential in you. This is why I invested in you by giving you training and mentoring in these areas for the past months. I even took time to coach you. Yet, you’re still missing deadlines. And you’ve fallen into a pattern of being dishonest with me, with others, and most importantly with yourself. This is in direct opposition to our core values. So what would you do if you were in my position, if you were the manager and I was you?

This is a great question because it puts the employee in the position of being the manager dealing with the situation.

Trey: I’m really trying.

Manager: Trey, trying is not going to cut it. We depend on you to do your part. It’s impacting our team, our clients in their business, our company, and me who believes in you. Most importantly, it’s impacting you. I never want to put someone in a position where he’s not motivated to thrive and be his best, especially when we’ve given him every opportunity to do so. When you say you want it yet time and time again you don’t take the necessary actions to achieve it, then it makes me think this is not the position that best suits your gifts and gives you purpose in your life. Otherwise, you’d find a way to accomplish your goals. I think it’s time for you to go out there and find something that you can be passionate about.

The above situation may lead to the manager giving Trey another chance because in firing him, the manager has created a shift in Trey. He wants to stay, not to just keep his job but also—and maybe more so—because he finds meaning and purpose in his work and in being part of the culture. So a next step might be asking him to come up with a radical plan that describes what he would do differently to support himself, his department, and the organization. Then the manager has Trey present that plan in a week to see if it’s radical enough. If not, the manager might let him go. If it is, then Trey implements it, having check-ins to see if he’s holding himself accountable to his plan.

Another possibility might be that Trey realizes his job doesn’t bring him the passion he needs to be motivated. His manager may help Trey hone in on his gifts so Trey can eventually find a job that he finds passion and meaning in doing. Sometimes you have to be willing to let someone go in order to create the shift for the person to change or to stop, reflect, and discover their full potential and path of purpose, even if it’s somewhere else.

The post The Great Awakening! appeared first on Executive Coach Los Angeles | Susan Inouye.

Please, Let’s Not Go Back to Business As Usual! 12 Apr 2021, 1:55 pm

What the Pandemic Has Taught Us About Being “Human Leaders”

It’s been years, yet it seems like yesterday, that I received the email about the departure of one of my favorite senior managers. These emails were plentiful and always included certain expressions, “is no longer with us”, “has moved on”, “we thank them for their contributions” was a polite way to say, they were fired. The message always ended with “So let’s get back to business as usual.” It was such a transactional and cold way to acknowledge a “human being” who’d spent years working endless hours leading their people towards its goals. Even when you were happy they were gone, the message to employees was foreboding – “This is what we think of you and how you’ll be treated.”

This transactional way of working is so reflective of our times. In my capacity as Executive Coach, leaders at all levels continuously share how they’re tasked with so much that they get on automatic pilot to just get it all done. This stress disconnects us from any sense of purpose in our work and forces us to only see people through the lens of productivity and results. We don’t experience connection (how I feel when I’m with you) with others because we’re not connected within ourselves.

With the pandemic, leaders were forced to stop, pivot in a moment’s notice and find creative ways to keep their organizations alive. It was a test of their resiliency to make difficult decisions quickly and stay connected with their people, so their teams would actively participate in saving the organization. For many, on a personal level, it was the first time they’d experienced time and connection with family and rediscovered what it is to be human.

If something so radical wakes us up, helps us build greater leadership capabilities and capacity to connect with our people and families, why go back? Do we want to be on automatic pilot again to just get through the busy day?  Do we want to disconnect from others, including our internal self; treat people transactionally and only build relationships by task completion, becoming so disengaged that we lose touch with what it is to be human? Do we want to go back to that kind of business as usual?

The following is what my clients learned about themselves as they experienced this pandemic and what they’ll do differently.  Perhaps it may help you to better thrive as a leader in a new normal.

BE INTENTIONAL ABOUT INVESTING IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH YOUR PEOPLE

One of the biggest insights my clients had was the imperative to stay connected with their people, working from home. Making regular zoom calls to check in, they were surprised how happy people on their teams were to hear from them. In just asking how “they were” and being present, open and interested, they learned other personal aspects of their life they weren’t aware of previously. They realized how much time they focused only on the work people did and the results expected. Now with new personal distinctions, they are better at working with and developing their people. They’re reminded that the simple act of asking, being interested and listening to what’s happening in their lives creates a “connected” relationship, better engaging and motivating their people because they feel supported and cared for.

Here are some of the ways my clients are building deeper relationships and finding new ways to connect in more meaningful ways: Taking breaks during the day and doing meditation practices that help to be centered, present and open; Journaling personal aspects of their people when in conversation so they inquire about what’s important to them; Observing and writing the individual gifts revealed through their people’s actions in approaching situations in their life, thus helping to better understand and develop them; Coaching them on a virtual leadership path to help embody new competencies. In doing this, one of my clients found when turnover in general was high because of intense workloads and less staff to assist, her team was the only one in the company where people stayed because they felt valued and seen.

APPRECIATE YOUR PEOPLE MORE OFTEN

My clients know that appreciating their people has a positive impact on productivity. During the pandemic however, they found themselves doing it more often because people needed a greater level of connection. They were surprised to see an even more positive impact where people felt valued and energized to give 110%. What they weren’t aware of is the amazing affects dopamine has on the body. When praised, this chemical is released, giving an individual optimism, energy, focus, and connection. It elevates their drive, confidence and leadership capabilities. Unfortunately, it’s short-lived so leaders who give praise more often see encouraging results.

Some of the ways they appreciate their people more often are: Using “Gift-Centered Praise” (GCP) in conversations, emails, and group meetings.  When someone’s praised for the gift behind their actions, it motivates to find other ways to use that gift because the gift is a natural part of who they are. GCP re-energizes people especially when pressured to go the extra mile; Creating virtual “Gift Circles” where members of the team express the gifts they see in each other. This can be used to open or close a meeting or retreat, celebrating birthdays, retirements. It’s a compelling way to build a culture of belonging where people feel seen and accepted for who they are.

EMBRACE CREATIVITY AS A WAY OF BEING

The pandemic forced my clients to be more creative both at work and home. Breaking routines led to new ways of looking at themselves, their people and life.  Many who never considered their strength to be creativity discovered a creative gene within themselves.

One client noticed zoom calls revealed how long he could give people his full attention without being distracted. One-hour zoom meetings became thirty-minute calls with additional fifteen-minute calls more frequently. He also avoids back-to-back calls with at least a fifteen-minute break in between.

Another discovered new sources to bring the kind of energy that fosters his creativity and inspirational leadership. Being an extravert who gains energy from interaction with others, it was challenging when the pandemic hit. Being curious, he’s discovered he can get that same energy by noticing how his people are growing as leaders in their work and in their lives.

Another pivoted her apparel company, also creating Masker-AID™ – quality designed face coverings meeting CDC recommendations. Still another brainstormed with her spouse on ways they could break from work. Not being able to do the usual movie and dinner, they found scenic trails where they’ve hiked 200 miles this past year. They’ve never been in better physical shape!

My clients learned when you’re in a space of not knowing, this uncertainty creates an opening for the most creative ideas to come forward.  Creativity has been described as letting go of our certainties.

Some of the best practices they’ve engaged in so they’re in the most creative state are: Sitting and Walking meditations (let go of thoughts) and other practices of letting go; Being in observation mode of yourself and others; Being curious; Redirect what you have into a new direction; Explore alternate ways to experience new opportunities.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

MAKE SELF-CARE A PART OF YOUR WORKDAY NOT SEPARATE FROM IT

Working from home has created some interesting opportunities and challenges for my clients.

Here are some of the ways they’re integrating self-care into their workday.

One of my clients noticed without commute time, he was more stressed during the day. He realized how his drive relaxed and decompressed him even in L.A. traffic. So now he takes “commute” walks at the same time he used to leave work. It’s a relaxing way to get grounded and balanced and he’s seeing the positive impact on his performance and team.

Another client found herself working more hours and it was taking a toll on her energy and thus, productivity. She now uses her previous commute time to do morning walks grounding her as she starts her day.  She schedules in breaks, lunch with her kids, dinner with family. This reenergizes her so she continually approaches her work in a fresh way. She’s also more conscious about respecting her people’s personal time. And she feels more effective as a leader because she’s integrated more home time with work time.

Another client saw how much work she had that didn’t need to be done or could be accomplished by her people. Now she ends her day by 3pm, works from home a few days a week and her people feel her trust in them handling the business. It’s given her time to reflect. Journaling the simple things she’s grateful for, brings balance. Envisioning what’s possible keeps her inspired and creative.

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

The pandemic taught my clients many lessons. In reconnecting with what it is to be human, they’ve come to appreciate the basic goodness of their lives. They’re experiencing an integration of both their personal and professional lives and finding more balance. And it’s inspired them to get off autopilot, let go of their habitual ways of engaging and connecting and instead find new avenues to bring meaning and purpose into their work and life.

Sawubona!

Susan

* Sawubona: A Zulu greeting meaning “I see you.”

COACHING STRATEGIES WITH A CALL TO ACTION

“People exist to be loved; Objects exist to be used. The world is in chaos because these things are the other way round.”

–Dalai Lama

Gift Circle: Seeing the Gifts in Others

(Organizational Practice)

Purpose: To express from our hearts, the gifts we see in each other. Having the practice of the gift circle puts us in a mode of observation where we are constantly looking for the gifts in others.

How Often: Use this practice for birthday celebrations or other milestones—when people are leaving the organization, at department meetings to open or bring closure to the meeting, etc. Instead of giving gifts, express the gifts you see in the person.

What to Do:

Have someone facilitate this. Once it becomes a ritual and everyone knows what to do, you might not need to do the meditation part.

If you are honoring someone, then this practice is focused on that person. If not, you can adjust accordingly. Here’s an example of it not being for a particular person.

• Gather in a circle. See who is to the left of you.
• Meditation
  • Close your eyes.
  • Bring an awareness around your heart.
  • Take three slow, deep breaths as if breathing from your heart—slow and deep.
  • As you are in your heart, ask yourself silently: “What am I grateful for in my life?”
  • Think of one thing, person, situation, etc. that you are most grateful for in your life.
  • Bring a feeling of appreciation for that one thing, person, situation, etc. in your heart. Feel it. Experience it. Let the feeling of appreciation fill your heart.
  • Keeping that feeling of appreciation in your heart, allow it to extend like the golden rays of the sun from your heart to all parts of your body, from your feet to your head, down through your arms to your fingers. Take a moment to do that.
  • Now continue to expand that feeling out into the universe as far and wide as you can.
  • In this feeling of appreciation, ask your heart what is one gift of the person sitting to the left of you? Be quiet and listen. Don’t be so quick to want the answer. Listen.
  • Now take three deep, slow breaths as if breathing through your heart.
  • Slowly open your eyes and adjust to the environment or room.

Photo by Christina Morillo from Pexels

• Gift circle: seeing the gifts in others
  • Go around the room and tell the group from your heart one gift you see in the person to the left of you.
  • Explain why you think this is that person’s gift—give a specific example and/or a feeling you have in your heart that tells you this.
• Closing the Gift Circle. You can close the practice in a number of ways:
  • A debrief of how it felt to be deeply appreciated.
  • The facilitator saying a few remarks.
  • A closure to your meditation by having all close their eyes, taking one slow, deep breath as if breathing through their hearts; opening their eyes, and adjusting to the environment or room.
  • If for a birthday celebration, ending with the person you are celebrating expressing gratitude to the people in the circle.

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