I’ve shared in other articles and videos about my own erection journey. I may regret being so open about all of this. I talk about it because I want to offer some hope and encouragement to anyone else who might be struggling.

About seven years ago, I was simply not taking care of my body. Bad food, alcohol, minimal exercise all contributed to high blood pressure, resting heart rate that was too high and, yes, some ED.

My name is Andy and I have some personal understanding of the weight that we men carry when we aren’t fully functioning on the penile erection front.

While every man’s journey and, frankly, etiology is unique to him, at the very least I want you to know that you aren’t the only one who deals with what you are facing.

Erectile dysfunction (ED) can be a source of frustration for many men, impacting both physical and emotional well-being. Here are some of the questions we, as men, ask ourselves:

1. Will I ever be able to “perform” like I used to?

Men with ED may experience anxiety about their sexual performance, leading to a cycle of worry that can exacerbate the problem. For me, when everything was working great, I didn’t really give it much thought. As soon as my erections weren’t happening the way I thought they should, it was all I could think about.

ED affects how we feel about ourselves at a deeper level. And I don’t know if it surfaces as a question we ask in our minds or just becomes a feeling that remains under the surface, but ED can negatively impact a man's self-esteem and confidence. Feelings of inadequacy or a sense of failure can be frustrating and challenging to cope with.

Not only do we struggle with how we feel about ourselves, but we also face how it might affect our relationship with our partner.

2. Can my relationship take this sort of pressure? Will we deal with it together or is it up to me to find a solution?

Think about the image that is often used in ads for ED. In the picture that we attached to this article you can see that not only is the guy kicking himself but look at the partner!  I can only imagine the emotions here and wonder if the two of them will talk about it all.

ED can strain relationships as it may affect intimacy and communication between partners. When it becomes this unspoken thing that we just hope goes away on its own, it then may become a wedge within the relationship.

It leads to misunderstandings about what is going on within most areas of the relationship. And when we don’t communicate with one another about it, the impact just grows larger.

3. That leads to another question: Will we ever feel like our intimacy is “natural”?

Finding an effective treatment for ED may involve trying different medications or therapies, and the process of trial and error can be frustrating.

You think you’ve found something that works only to have it NOT work. We may feel that we’ve lost the spontaneity factor.

So that means we must find new ways to make treatment just a part of our intimate lives. It can be done but it takes some vulnerability and open communication with our partner.

For a time, I had to redefine “natural” when it comes to sexual intimacy. While I was taking care of getting all-around healthy, I still had to draw upon some of the available resources and found that if I was honest with my partner, the whole thing became our new “natural.”

I work with Timm Medical and am happy to put these more personal videos out there because I believe that it’s worth putting forth the work to overcome the three questions I have raised in this article:

1. Will I ever be able to “perform” like I used to?
2. Can my relationship take this sort of pressure? Will we deal with it together or is it up to me to find a solution?
3. Will we ever feel like our intimacy is “natural”?

It's important for individuals experiencing ED to seek support from healthcare professionals, as there are various treatment options available, both medical and psychological, to address the underlying causes and improve sexual health.

If you go to timmmedical.com, you will find one potential treatment for your ED. It’s been tried and true for over 40 years and is still going strong. The Vacuum Erection Device may provide a more, non-pharmacological treatment option for you. And if you are willing, you may be able to draw your partner into the discussion about whether it is something you should consider.

You can always write us at education@timmmedical.com if you have questions.

I’m not a doctor; I am not a therapist. I’m just a 58-year-old man who has not always has perfect erectile function. Anything I say here is not meant to be medical advice. I can only tell my own story and let you decide what you want to do. Fair?

My erectile function happened about 7 years ago, just before I started working in a company that focuses, primarily, on men’s sexual health.  I was healthy (or so I thought) and the inability to maintain an erection just seemed to come out of nowhere. When it happened, though, it forced itself to the forefront of pretty much my every other thought.

“Why is this happening to me? Of all people?! I love being sexual!” But it did and I needed to understand why and, more importantly, how. What was happening within my body and mind that would allow me to get an erection but somehow not be able to keep it when I really wanted to?

After about four months of uncertainty, I finally made an appointment with my doctor. I was brave enough to be honest about it with her about why I came in. She asked me about my lifestyle first (smoking/alcohol/exercise/diet).

“No” to the smoking question. Lied on the alcohol question, she saw right through that one. Exercise had crept into the non-existent realm and my diet was pretty haphazard but not as healthy as it once was.

To her credit, she didn’t offer an immediate solution. Instead, she said, “Let’s run some tests.”

The tests came back and revealed some things that demonstrated that I was moving in the wrong direction with my overall health. I was in the pre-diabetic range, anemic, crazy high blood pressure and resting heart rate and low testosterone levels. Overall, I had become, pretty much, a physical mess.

In some ways, I am grateful for that time of ED. It was calling me to pay attention to other decisions I was making and forced a dramatic change in my overall lifestyle. So why did I wait as long as I did to seek help?

Men may avoid talking about their erectile dysfunction (ED) for a variety of reasons. We are all different, but here’s what I went through:

1. Stigma and Embarrassment: There is often a societal stigma associated with sexual health issues, including ED. Men may feel embarrassed or emasculated, fearing judgment or negative reactions from others.
2. Cultural and Social Expectations: Societal expectations around masculinity can contribute to the reluctance to discuss ED. Some men may feel pressured to conform to traditional notions of male virility and may see ED as a threat to their self-image.
3. Fear of Relationship Strain: Men may worry that discussing ED could strain their relationships. They might fear that their partners will be disappointed, feel unattractive, or blame themselves for the issue.
4. Lack of Awareness or Understanding: Some men might not fully understand the causes of ED, leading to confusion or a sense of helplessness. Lack of awareness about available treatments or misconceptions about the condition could also play a role.
5. Privacy and Personal Matters: Sexual health is often considered a private matter, and some individuals may feel uncomfortable discussing such personal issues, even with healthcare professionals.
6. Fear of Medical Implications: ED can sometimes be an early indicator of underlying health conditions, such as cardiovascular problems or diabetes. Men may avoid discussing ED out of fear that it could be linked to more serious health issues.
7. Coping Mechanisms: Men, like individuals facing any health challenge, may employ coping mechanisms such as denial or avoidance as a way to manage the emotional impact of ED.

I know that my experience may be unique only to me, but I think it’s worth asking yourself, “Is my ED pointing toward other health issues that I would rather pretend aren’t there?”

What do you have to lose? And, more significantly, what might you stand to gain?

I am encouraging you to be open with your doctor about your sexual health. Understand it as much as you can and gain the appropriate level of support. Shake the stigma surrounding ED and stand proudly as a man who had the strength to move forward with your life in the healthiest ways possible.

In my experience working with men looking for a remedy for their erectile dysfunction, I have had many meaningful conversations. Though the talks often took place in a doctor’s office where the focus is primarily on the vacuum erection device and the physical body, I am aware that, for many men, there are a lot of emotions wrapped up in our ability to function sexually.

Years ago, I met with a man who didn’t want his wife to see the vacuum system arrive in the mail. He asked if we could have it delivered to the doctor’s office where he could pick it up without her knowing that he had placed the order. Now, it’s entirely possible that he didn’t want to get into trouble for spending money. Or was he convinced that she wouldn’t approve of his use of a vacuum erection device?

I am neither a physician nor a therapist. I’m just a man teaching about how to use a vacuum erection device but who, at times, struggled with my own erectile function. I could resonate with the men with whom I met. Words didn’t have to be spoken for us to mutually understand that we men attach a large part of our worth and value to our ability to not only get an erection but to be able to please our partner.

Erectile dysfunction (ED) can have a significant impact on a man’s emotional well-being, as well as on his relationships. You may have experienced some of the following:

1. Emotional and Psychological Impact:
   • Stress and Anxiety: ED often leads to increased stress and anxiety, both related to performance and the fear of future sexual encounters. This may become a brutal cycle of stress in the lead up to sexual intimacy and then the frustration after when, yet again, we feel we have fallen short of our partner’s and our own expectations.
   • Depression: Long-term ED can contribute to feelings of frustration, disappointment, and sadness, potentially leading to depression.
   • Low Self-Esteem: Difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection may negatively impact a man’s self-esteem and self-worth.
   • Sense of Failure: The inability to perform sexually as expected may evoke feelings of failure. This can be particularly challenging if a man has traditionally viewed sexual performance as a measure of his success or identity.
   • Stigma and Shame: Societal expectations and stigmas surrounding sexual performance can contribute to feelings of shame and embarrassment. Men may be reluctant to discuss ED, even with healthcare professionals, due to these societal pressures.

   I can tell you, all day, that you are not alone and that you may have more than a few friends who also struggle with their erectile function, that doesn’t necessarily make you feel any less bad about yourself. Often, we men seem to feel like the best way to deal with that is to do so in isolation.

2. Relationship Impact:
   • Strain on Intimate Relationships: ED can strain intimate relationships, as partners may feel frustrated, rejected, or unfulfilled. Open communication is crucial to navigating these challenges.
   • Decreased Relationship Satisfaction: The impact of ED on sexual intimacy may lead to decreased satisfaction in the overall relationship.
   • Concern for Partner: Your partner probably feels concerned about your overall well-being and health. They are well-aware that you may be really struggling with your erectile dysfunction, and they also be affected emotionally by the challenges it presents in the relationship. When we say that you are not alone, we really mean it here, if you are in a relationship. It directly affects both of you.
   • Avoidance of Sexual Activity: Some men may avoid sexual activity altogether to prevent the potential embarrassment or anxiety associated with ED.
3. Health Concerns:
   • •  Underlying Health Issues: In some cases, ED may be a symptom of an underlying health condition, such as cardiovascular disease or diabetes.

   Addressing ED may also involve managing these health issues.

It’s important to recognize that ED is a common medical condition, and effective treatments are available. Seeking professional help, such as consulting with a healthcare provider or a specialist in sexual health, can lead to an accurate diagnosis and appropriate management of ED.

I am not in any position to offer you any professional advice. Instead, I want to encourage you to ask and seek answers to some important questions:

1. What are, potentially, the underlying health issues that you need to address and stop avoiding?

This is one of those areas where it serves no helpful purpose to simply sidestep this part of the process if you want to have any hope of restoring healthy erectile function not to mention your overall health and well-being.

Set up the appointment with your physician and be completely open. What are you experiencing? When did it start? What have you tried?

The good news here is that most doctors won’t get all emotional on you. They will simply ask questions, usually armed with a questionnaire like The Sexual Health Inventory for Men (SHIM) or The Sexual Encounter Profile (SEP). Google either one of those questionnaires and you’ll see what sort of questions the practitioner may ask you.

Who knows what they will want you to do next but consider following their advice.

Also, remember, there are reputable clinics all over the country that deal precisely with Men’s Sexual Health issues. The doctors, nurses and physician’s assistants work with patients exactly like you, every day! Again, Google “Men’s Sexual Health Clinic near me” and see what you discover.

2. What conversations should you have with your partner about all of this?

Now, I get it. There may be limits on just how much you really want to talk about erectile dysfunction. We are all gentlemen here and, though we live in a pretty crass world, we may be better served to limit just how many people with whom we engage in conversation about our erections.
But if you are in a relationship, your partner is impacted by all of this. How can you openly discuss what you are discovering and how you can move forward in the healthiest ways possible?
And, if necessary, seeking the support of a therapist or counselor can also be beneficial in addressing the emotional and relational aspects of ED.

You have several options for treating the physical causes of erectile dysfunction and just by exploring this far, you are demonstrating to yourself that you are actively pursuing the best and healthiest solution for you, and you are willing to do the hard work that may be involved in this journey.

This post is meant to encourage you to recognize that your mind and emotions may also be involved in this, and it may be helpful to pay attention to all of that. You are not alone in this and there are millions of men, worldwide, who are also searching for answers. If nothing else, see the value in the lessons that others are learning and continue to engage with them, if not directly, by reading and learning more every way you can.

I faced some erectile dysfunction challenges several years ago. I’m not a counselor or therapist and can offer no professional advice on what to do when one’s own ED messes with their mind. But I can tell you, with personal experience, that it does!

In my previous post, I talked about all the emotions I went through, and I suspect are common to man. In this post, I want to talk about our partner and what they may be feeling. I created this list based, not only on my own experience but also what I witnessed when meeting with men and their partners as I showed them the vacuum therapy system and the VenoSeal.

Some of what I noted in those moments are, notably, my own assumptions or perceptions.

The partner of a man with erectile dysfunction (ED) may experience a range of emotions and reactions. It’s important to note that individual experiences vary, and not everyone will feel the same way. Here are some common emotions and thoughts that a partner might experience:

1. Concern: The partner may be genuinely concerned about the man’s well-being and health. Erectile dysfunction can sometimes be a sign of an underlying medical condition, so the partner might worry about the overall health of their loved one.
2. Confusion: Understanding the causes and implications of erectile dysfunction can be confusing. The partner may wonder whether they are somehow responsible or if there’s something they could be doing differently.
3. Frustration: If the couple’s sexual intimacy is affected, the partner might feel frustrated or disappointed. This frustration can stem from a desire for physical intimacy and a sense of closeness that may be impacted by the challenges of ED.
4. Self-Blame: Some partners may erroneously blame themselves for the man’s condition, thinking that they are not attractive enough or that they are doing something wrong in the relationship.
5. Fear of Rejection: Partners may worry that the man’s ED could lead to a loss of intimacy or a decline in the emotional connection. There might be a fear of rejection if the man is avoiding or hesitant about sexual activity.
6. Empathy: Many partners will likely feel empathy for the man and the difficulties he may be facing. They may want to be supportive and understanding, recognizing that ED can be emotionally challenging for the person experiencing it.
7. Communication Challenges: Discussing the issue openly can be challenging for both partners. There might be fear of hurting feelings, making the situation worse, or simply not knowing how to approach the topic.

I can see that my partner experienced all seven of the above feelings and emotions. Do you know how I know? Because we talked about it! It would have been easy to pretend that it wasn’t really a big deal, but it was a big deal. She wondered if I still found her attractive (I did!) or if I was involved with someone else (I wasn’t!) But if we didn’t talk about it, assumptions could have ruled our lives.

I think it’s in those moments when we must decide if it’s worth being honest and open about it. Is it possible that ED could bring two people closer together?

I think it’s crucial for couples facing erectile dysfunction to communicate openly. It’s also important that both create a space where vulnerability is safe. And seek professional advice if necessary. Work together to find solutions that promote emotional and physical well-being for both of you.

Seeking the guidance of a healthcare professional or a sex therapist can also be beneficial in addressing both the physical and emotional aspects of erectile dysfunction within a relationship.

When we say that you are not alone in this, we mean it. And if you are in a relationship, then you are really not alone. You both stand to gain by being open about what is happening and then communicate about what steps you are taking to move forward.